The Djinn and the Eternally Vulgar


Point, line, solid ... in sacred geometry

Point, line, solid … in sacred geometry

This sketch shows God’s hand (four-dimensional) dipped through our flat-earth pool.  The flat earth human observes, astonished, five apparently unrelated islands appear … move around … and disappear – and bases his/her scientific/statistical/political data on that.


I have been writing in my other blog, about Tetrahedrons and the way their sacred geometry IS our natural life form.

Firstly here is a cube:

heart of cube, sides, points, pyramids

heart of cube, sides, points, pyramids

Those same 6 pyramids inverted into the cube of life, converge to their shared apex, the cube’s centre point.

The cube’s 6 sides circumscribe the six points of the Tetrahedral Star of Solomon.   Never is there an end to contemplating the six-sided solar photon, the source of life and of our being.

bota cube - Version 4

cube and tetrahedrons (1990)

cube and tetrahedrons (1990)

Through the lattice of Solomon – the interwoven tetrahedrons – is expressed every nuance of the king and bride:  the Song of Solomon.

Chandra Moon in Jyotish

An Indian version – Chandra Moon in Jyotish


“Listen!  my lover!  here he comes,
leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills. 
My lover is a gazelle or young stag:
Lo! He stands behind my wall, 
gazing through my window, 
peering through the lattice …

(song of Solomon)




Jung at about the time he met Idzubar.  His eyes are fierce with wonder

Jung at about the time he met Idzubar. His eyes are fierce with wonder

The Red Book
In his Red Book, Jung gave birth like a mother to the firebird, and lay shattered, a broken shell, as the firebird “cruelly, unthinkingly, spread its wings and flew up into infinite space … the emptiness of the depths opened beneath me.

red book - Jung's painting of Idzubar the God of the ancient world

red book – Jung’s painting of Idzubar the God of the ancient world.  Jung disabled him with a poisoned word – he told him about modern sciences … and was stricken with remorse.

red book - Jung's painting of the opening of the egg in which he confined Idzubar

red book – Jung’s painting of the opening of the egg in which he had confined and carried Idzubar

“He who wanted to go down with the sun found me through his downgoing. I became his nocturnal mother who incubated the egg of the beginning. And he rose up renewed, reborn to greater splendour. While he rises however, I go down …

“I lay there like a child bearer cruelly mauled and bleeding her life into the child, uniting life and death in a dying glance, the day’s mother, the night’s prey. My God had drunk my highest power into him …

“What remains of human nature when the God has become mature and has seized all power? Everything incompetent, powerless, eternally vulgar, adverse and unfavourable – reluctant, diminishing, exterminating, everything absurd … the God suffers when man does not accept his darkness. Consequently, man must have a suffering God so long as they suffer from evil … …

“If the God draws near, your essence starts to seethe, and the black mud of the depths stirs up.

Sacred India Tarot dark queen

“Man stands between emptiness and fullness.”

C.G.Jung, The Red Book

His Individuation included the condition of the Dark Womb.

Sacred India Tarot - Birth of the Buddha

Sacred India Tarot – Birth of the Buddha – after the Buddha child was born, she died.

I felt, reading this passage, that the God jumped out of the tiny scientific boxes, more than a century ago, leaving the greater human element that believes in the boxes, destitute for the eternally vulgar.

The polarity of our time, is the eternally vulgar with the Immanent Reality. The great Phoenix flew up into the cosmos and is everywhere, but the tiny boxed ones cannot see it. So they go on with their inventive technology and their measurements. My smaller mind goes on filing complaints.   But nowadays, having grasped that I do, I complain less.

For instance, it feels just fresh to have bathed and washed my hair – as good as preening firebird’s feathers. This morning, reading Jung,  the God, the divine fire bird is EVERYWHERE, awaiting the tiny quantum leap from the dark blind dream.

soul tetrahedrons: the Tetrahedron is a four-sided triangle - the most stable form in sacred geometry.  Connectivity, four points on four faces, through centre and polarities:  the point is both centre and corner.

Soul tetrahedrons: the four points of the interior, inverted one, touch the four faces of the external one.  The Tetrahedron is a four-sided triangle – the most stable form in sacred geometry. Connectivity, four points, four faces, through centre and polarities: the point is both centre and corner:  the 4 in the 3.

Perhaps the Quantum physics discovery in the 1920s & 30s (during Nazi nadir) was and is the actual Divine Order. It rose like a djinn from the bottle.   Most of the shut-I minds think it is a separate science, however enigmatic; they do not live the paradox or make the connection with their inner self in the Quantum … they are still in bud.

Einstein was working on Relativity at the same time as Jung’s Red Book: both of them Swiss. Around them seethed the European tide of carnage and slaughter.


The Djinn - Mercurius and the bottle imp - 1988

The Djinn – Mercurius and the bottle imp – 1988

For me in the 1980s, Frijof Capra’s Tao of Physics gave me the key!   At once I saw the subatomic interactions in life, and in my soul and connectivity, back and forth in time, the Divine Aquarian.   But Fred’s friend Professor Ernst (a physicist) blinked and scoffed: “it is amusing.”   He was a bitter man, afreud of jung … he couldn’t connect, he was an expert and he made me feel a fool.   I painted his daughter’s portrait in daffodil yellow.

The age of Aquarius, the Great Water Bearer, is still opening. The Divine Aquariel is in all our being, throughout our skies and instruments, and in the soles of my tired feet.  All it takes, is to stop blinking for a moment … let in the power of NOW.   But the human condition is attached to the drama of pain, pollution and platform soles out there – a parallel Reality.

What to do, here and now? Keep the home fire alight, relieve pain wherever it is present. Physician, to thy Self be true; and truth travels along the wave.   Some of us have a gift to relieve pain in others, and some of us are in training for it.   I need to learn to listen, rather than to advise or fix.  Where there is deep relaxation, the current flows naturally.   It is transpersonal.  We humans isolate sex from life.  When there is no conditioning, all is life, where I come from and am.  I am seed, orgasm, birth, embryo.

kekuli serpent

“My lifetimes are not open ended.
In my molecular chemistry and in my genes,
the compounds curve or close
into chains or rings.

“The law comes back
to planets around the sun -
time’s fullness passes through
their orbiting plane, as space.

“The Law comes back to Nature
where the dragon’s head eats tail
to guard the egg
our scientists of little brain would pick to pieces.”

The Masters’ Eye, 2004


Melusina, sea horse and Poseidon 1988

Melusina, sea horse and Poseidon 1988

Mercurius Hermes Trismegistos

Mercurius Hermes Trismegistos


Greetings of glad tidings - 1988

Greetings of glad tidings – 1988


To view GALLERY, click on any image


Red book - Jung's painting of the Sun boat of the soul - detail in "Opening of the Egg"

Red book – Jung’s painting of the Sun boat of the soul – detail in “Opening of the Egg”





Gene Keys Golden Path Program

Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life. COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

In the Sea and onto the Beach



In my previous post – the Altar, Bird, Torch with Master R – (and also The Desert Rose in my other blog) the traveller begins his journey in the desert.  These passages from C.G.Jung’s Red Book companion it:

“Your heights are your own mountain, which belongs to you and you alone. There you are individual and live your very own life.

“If you live your own life, you do not live the common life, which is always continuing and never ending, the life of history and the inalienable and ever-present burdens and products of the human race. There you live the endlessness of being, but not the becoming. Becoming human belongs to the heights and is full of torment. How can you become if you never are? Therefore you need your bottommost, since there you are. But therefore you also need your heights, since there you become.”


I am deep down in myself just now, this morning, standing in the ravine, looking up and out among my mountains of affection, sharpened cares, and failures, the way they peak the sky.  In alchemy we are called “the miners of the mountains.”   Within the mountain strata are veins of congealed sunlight, the living gold.   This is life, and all the weathers.

I recall right now, a very early childhood nightmare (age 3 or 4?)  – a range of glittering white mountains, all of them wept with some unendurable song of the Spirit:  I cried, and ran to my parents’ bed.

"The Fish's Tail`" - annapurna2,

“The Fish’s Tail`” – annapurna2,


There is more, on the heights and in the depths, and: “You think you are standing still like swamp water, but slowly you flow into the sea that covers the earth’s greatest deeps, and it is so vast that firm land seems only an island imbedded in the womb of the immeasurable sea. As a drop in the ocean you take part in the current, ebb and flow. You swell slowly on the land, and slowly sink back again in interminably slow breaths. You wander vast distances in blurred currents and wash up on strange shores, not knowing how you got there. You mount the billows of huge storms and are swept back again into the depths …

wave break one

  “You had thought that your movement came from you and that it needed your decisions and efforts, so that you could get going and make progress. But with every conceivable effort you would never have achieved that movement and reached those areas to which the sea and the great wind of the world brought you.”

There is so much here about the brilliant underworld of the sea, that I feel his paintings and their colours begin to stir. There would evolve – I think – the “method” whereby the unknown surfacing onto distant shores becomes lucid, and delivers itself through subconscious-associative “strings”. There is  a mystery and an accuracy.   There is a condition of watchfulness: the music.   Be still and know I am God.


“But from far off, your heights shine to you above the sea in a golden light, like the moon emerging from the tide, and you become aware of yourself from afar. And longing seizes you and the will for your own movement. You want to cross over from being to becoming, since you have recognised the breath of the sea and its flowing, that leads you here and there without your ever adhering: you have also recognised its surge that bears you to alien shores and carries you back, and gargles you up and down.

wavebreak 2

“You saw that it was the life of the whole and the death of each individual. You felt yourself entwined in the collective death, from death to the earth’s deepest place, from death in your own strangely breathing depths.

“Oh – you long to be beyond; despair and mortal fear seize you in this death that breathes slowly and streams back and forth eternally. All this light and dark, warm, tepid and cold water, all these wavy, swaying, twisting, plant-like animals and bestial plants, all these nightly wonders become a horror to you, and you long for the sun, for light dry air, for firm stones, for a fixed place and straight lines, for the motionless and firmly held, for rules and preconceived purpose, for singleness and your own intent.”

wave break 3


The fossils of early creature organisms, look like feathers. Their DNA lattice is simple. They were planted in the seabed and they couldn’t move. They were epidermally nourished – they had no mouth. As aeons passed, they shifted, the organisms developed little creeper filaments on their underside, like starfish.   And when the tide cast them ashore, because they were Life, they adapted, and with the aeons, they became shoreward beings; they grew, and moved, and devoured, and returned to Nature what they ate.

The early organisms – in the atomic lattice – are what we are now.   It is in our bones and lizard memory – the medulla oblongata.   And what is this within us, yet to be?  to become?

Jung’s paragraph about the sea and land, is also about the desire, from immersion in the Mother Anima, to become defined, to make straight lines and plant flags – to become male.   When we are conceived, we all are feminine – the primordial element: and at around three months gestation (or a little earlier?) the embryo differentiates the sexual organs; in his case, to the male. To a man.  Male children are immersed in their mothers, then they wrestle to get free.

In elder traditions, the adolescent boys are taken into the forest or the desert for their Initiation. When they come back, they no longer belong to their mother, but to the tribe; their seed is strong and fertile for the women.

The paragraph reminds me also of childhood dreams in the Yorkshire moors or on a road;  I couldn’t move, I couldn’t walk forward, however hard I tried. Everywhere around me was huge, and the parents were a struggle to reach.   Small children have this powerful and frustrating desire in the soul, for independence and to travel. Suddenly aware in the new and powerless “I-me”, we burst out crying, and raise our arms to be lifted and taken.

little girl at a party, 1954

little girl at a party, 1954


“The knowledge of death came to me that night, from the dying that engulfs the world. I saw how we live toward death, how the swaying golden wheat sinks together under the scythe of the reaper, like a smooth wave on the sea beach.”

I have to copy nearly all of this poem – to honour it now.

“He who abides in common life becomes aware of death with fear. Thus the fear of death drives him toward singleness. He does not live there, but he becomes aware of life and is happy, since in singleness he is one who becomes, and has overcome death. He does not live his individual being, since he is not what he is, but what he becomes.

“One who becomes, grows aware of life, whereas one who simply exists, never will, since he is in the midst of life. He needs the heights and singleness to become aware of life. But in life he becomes aware of death. And it is good that you become aware of collective death, since then you know why your singleness and your heights are good.

genesis in the retort (3)

genesis in the retort (3)

“Your heights are like the moon that luminously wanders alone, and through the night looks eternally clear. Sometimes it covers itself, and then you are totally in the darkness of the earth; but time and again it fills itself out with light. The death of the earth is foreign to it. Motionless and clear, it sees the life of the earth from afar, without enveloping haze and streaming oceans. Its unchanging form has been solid from eternity. It is the solitary clear light of the night, the individual being, and the near fragment of eternity …

liverpool sketches 6, 1969, moon landing

  “… Your gaze rests on silvery seas, on snowy peaks, on blue valleys, and you do not hear the groaning and howling of the human animal.”

Isn’t it interesting that Jung wrote this, fifty years before we saw what our Earth looks like?

“The moon is dead. Your soul went to the moon, to the preserver of souls. Thus the soul moved toward death. I went into the inner death and saw that outer dying is better than inner death. And I decided to die outside and to live within. For that reason I turned away, and sought the place of the inner life.”


Arcanum 8 - soul strength

Bridging the soul Triad on the Tree, is the path of the woman who gentles the Lion.   The soul-triad balances Hesed and Gevurah – Opportunity and Restraint – with Tifareth. I lift my eyes up into the hills, there is nothing to say.   And earth it with my body root – where am I sitting just now?   The firmness of my seat on the floor – the swift speaking fingers on the keyboard at intervals – the sun coming in – cars and trains passing – the bare but pregnant branches of early Aries – my crossed-over feet – the strange chirp of a bird?   No it is a car alarm being adjusted. It is more distant now.

Root and shoot, seed and flower – the quiet stem greets my sisters, mothers and daughters, they endure.


Red Book –  Liber Secundus, Chapter 4: The Anchorite

jung mandala runes

In the irascible and blazing desert, he finds bare human foot-prints … the sole of the foot is the path of the soul. He follows them along a high dune.   The mandala he illustrates this chapter with, is the desert colour, hot brown and dull red, with the cloudless blue sky in its centre.   The rocks and dunes are runes, from which arose the human dream and all its history.   They are shifting runes.   The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.

desert swan & camel

The wind is sand along the air, and earth responds by ripple formation, like the sea.   The sand flows like water; the sand flows as the blood in human veins, and in the animal kingdom; it is our sap.   The sand is the Rock, eroded to infinitesimal particles and jewels. It is blown along the wind, forming kingdoms of time.

Having lived in times past, among the sands, and carried water from the well, the element is in my bones and I know and recognise it well.   There is no landscape or direction other than the wind which softly pressures my back, so I turn as softly, with it.   And out of the vast nowhere of the wadis and the plains and the bony ridges of encircling hills, appears a tiny human in a dark cloth, walking towards me.

Those are my memories:   now, Jung’s.

He followed more than one set of footsteps. They elided with each other, they crossed and recrossed the crest of the dune: he follows them downward in astonishment.

“The air glows and the rock burns my soles. Now I have reached the bottom; there are the tracks again. They lead along the winding of the valley, a short distance. Suddenly I stand before a small hut covered in reeds and made of mud bricks. A rickety wooden plank forms the door where a cross has been painted in red. I open it quietly. A haggard man covered in a white linen mantle is sitting on a mat with his back leaning against the wall. Across his knees lies a book in yellow parchment, with beautiful black handwriting – a Greek gospel, without doubt. I am with an anchorite of the Libyan desert.”




Pause there.   Meister Jung, that is how I sit with “my book” in the mornings, leaning my back against the wall – my seat.   Inside the hut, with you and the anchorite, it is very hot, and the silence fills the silence with its shout: the purity of the sands.   You and I meet the Hermit.

footprint 2



Sitting by your unknown spring,
a lizard upon a rock bathes
in glowing heat of peppered sand.

In that ancient eyelid
the sun’s hour motionless flows.

My dry sponge may wait
hearing the source of the hidden element
in the drought of every pore.

The drier I am, the sweeter fills
the well of listening;

in my way without skin, seeing not yours,
I am touched by what you are directly,
through not knowing.

From a Poem of Eclipse, 1999





The photos of the sea were taken by my daughter, along the north Cornish coastal path.

Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life. COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Mysteries of Master R: Part 10 – the Trinosofia “Altar, Bird, Torch”


Master R new sketch 25.4.14


You can find the text for Master R’s Most Holy Trinosofia Chapter Five, above in the title-bar page:  Trinosofia Texts.   Here – slightly abridged in a few places – is Manly P.Hall’s commentary on this section:

“The candidate next experienced the mystery of the airy or intellectual principle.  He is raised out of the subterranean depths by his guardian spirit and lifted into the higher atmosphere.  Below him is the desert.  Special attention is called to triangular masses – the pyramids.

“An early manuscript in our collection affirms that the Egyptians were able to manufacture the Philosophers’ Stone without artificial heat, by burying the retort in the desert sand, which furnished the exact temperature for alchemical experiments.  

“The desert is here a symbol for the aridity and unproductivity of the unawakened consciousness.  In the physical universe, spiritual values languish; yet in the midst of this mortal sphere stand the pyramids, supreme symbols of spiritual alchemy – temples of initiation in the desert of waiting.  

Copied from Eliphas Levi's 'History of Magic'.  27 years ago, when I saw and read about these, in the chapter on Hermes, I was stirred with an elder, unknown and undying knowledge, half covered by the sands.

Copied from Eliphas Levi’s ‘History of Magic’. 27 years ago, when I saw and read about these, in the chapter on Hermes, I was stirred with an elder, unknown and undying knowledge, half covered by the sands.

“It is significant that the atmosphere of Egypt is particularly conducive to the perpetuation of ancient monuments of learning which, when moved from their old footings, rapidly crumble away.  Thus material life, the desert, is a natural laboratory in which the supreme chemistry is accomplished through suffering and aspiration.”


To which I add:  the old alchemical texts refer to coction – that of a hen’s warm breast to her egg – in the First Matter.  It is the interior temperature of our physical body.  Our life is this constant process of transmutation.  If we keep the inner fire banked and gentle, it gestates Life, rather than blaze up and consume what it creates.   In the arts of Alchemy, we regulate our passions.   As Master R has said elsewhere, tiny things – a spore of yeast, the pip in a grape – generate a field of wheat, a vineyard, a transformative Universe.

Further:  the desert suggests aridity, but also the ancient and elemental matrix of all life – our body – to which the Life returns.  Those who yearned to live the spiritual Life, walked out into the desert and their learning came with the wind, the sand and the stars.

sand and sea stones


“The desert” is our primordial physical body in which the sky and stars are planted root and shoot:  the leaves, loaves, fishes and our children.

crock of rainbow, with fishes


MPH’s commentary continues (see the journey itself in the Trinosofia Texts page above) : – “The account of the rising and falling of the candidate through space relates to the alternations of the substances in the retort by which they pass through a cycle of attenuation and precipitation, to be finally drawn off through the neck of the vessel.  Hermes uses this figure to set forth the mystery of rebirth, the periodic alternation of the soul from a temporal to a sidereal condition, and its final liberation through initiation.  Reaching the upper extremity of the intellectual sphere, the candidate is incapable of further function and swoons.”

Genesis in retort - from Alexander Roob's 'Alchemy & Mysticism'

Genesis in retort – from Alexander Roob’s ‘Alchemy & Mysticism’

The adepts, like Master R, are able to regulate their “density” so that it takes form with our own.  Thus they seem to appear and disappear through death, and to migrate or occupy levels of frequency, like electronic orbits in the atom.   If we look inside our mind, our thoughts are nothing other than this way.    The wearer of a body of Light moves his or her thought intentionally through several planes to converse at will.


MPH continues:  “Upon regaining consciousness, he discovers himself to be invested with a starry garment … By the starry garment is represented not only the auric body, but the new universal aspect of being – the Sidereal consciousness bestowed by … initiation.  The candidate may return to the narrowness of his physical environment, but he can never again reduce his consciousness to the limitations of the material state.  The starry body is his regenerated and illumined intellect.”

As the sand in the desert, as the cells in our body, so are the stars and galaxies of our origin.   Remembrance of this is initiation, and treats its fellow hosts with respect and love.


Altar, Bird, Torch illustration

Altar, Bird, Torch illustration

MPH: “The strange characters signifying the name of the bird with the green branch are decoded to mean ‘To be given the Life.’  The name of the altar reads ‘The Crown, Kether’, and is decoded, ‘when shall be the gate of entrance’.  Together the two phrases mean:  ‘Immortality shall be conferred at the gate of the House of Wisdom.’  The name of the torch is Light, but translates to: ‘The dernier shall be hidden away and forgotten.'”

The dernier is a coin, and MPH refers this to the Tarot Suit of Coins – the material body.  The hidden light is in our body and its un-conceived origin.  “The body of the wise man shall be concealed.”


“The tombs of the Initiates have never been discovered, and in the famous Rosicrucean cemetery, the resting places of the Brothers are marked only by the Rose …  The personal ego must die or be buried, that the Universal Self may be born from its seed.”

Gallery – Various forms of the Rose


Manly P Hall now analyses the illustration (see below):

“The strange bird hovering above the altar fire is the sacred Ibis, symbol of Thoth the Egyptian god of wisdom and letters, and patron of alchemy.  The volatile philosophical Mercury can remain in a suspended state only ‘when in the midst of the flames’.

“By the philosophical Mercury, we must understand the regenerated principle of intellect – mind rendered luminous by the flame of inspiration.

“In its beak the bird carries a green branch, the acacia of Freemasonry – symbol of rebirth and immortality.  The black feet and wings signify earth, the silvery body is water, the red head is fire, and the golden neck is the airy principle.  The spiritual bodies of the elements are thus united in a philosophical creature, the bird of the wise men – the phoenix.”


Note:  instead of a lotus, I painted the Hebrew SHIN, the Mother-letter of sacred Fire – whose symbol is also a molar tooth.

Master R : 08 - Version 2

Manly P Hall continues:

“Beside the bird and the altar is an elaborate candlestick, its base formed of twisted serpents – Ida and Pingala?  The upper end of the candlestick terminates in a lotus  blossom from which rises a lighted taper – the soul light, the inner light which reveals the secrets of the bird.

“As man’s external existence is lighted by an external sun, by which he perceives all temporal concerns, so his internal existence is illuminated by the light of the soul, the radiance of which renders visible the workings of the divine mind within.

“An inscription beneath it reads, ‘To the strong is given the burden.’  The great truths of life can be conferred only upon those who have been tested in character and understanding.  The reader is instructed to kindle a fire upon the high place, that the sacrifice may be borne upward to the Desired One.

“The symbolism is borrowed from elder Jewish ceremonials.  Upon the altar of burnt incense a fire continually burned.  The fire of holy aspiration consumes the base elements of the body and transforms them into soul qualities, symbolised by the incense fumes.  These ascend … as the covenant between aspiring humanity and its Creator.

“‘When the years of this existence are done, and the soul outbreathing at death, approaches the gate of immortality, may the Bird bear it swiftly away to the abode of the wise.’

In the Egyptian rites, the soul of the Initiate departed in the form of a bird which hovers over the couch on which the mummy lies.  The soul bird with the green branch … confers immortality, as set forth in ‘The Book of the Dead’.  Without wisdom, the soul must perish with the body.  This is the secret of the ritual of the Coming Forth by Day, or the Breathing Out of the Ka.

seagull detail



Meanwhile, my parallel journey continues with Jung’s Red Book;  for at this point he begins  – like Master R’s Initiate – to enter the desert.  In the desert, he will encounter some strange characters and “letterings”.

The initial painting which heads the Red Book’s previous chapter was a mosaic of interior earth and stone and star, bright colour.  The painting for Chapter 4, The Anchorite – (and they get larger)  – is a temple Window – a mandala with four gates. The two concentric frames contain a formal maze of hieroglyphic Runes which substantiate and support Jung’s interior vision from now on.  They resemble  Celtic knots, but they are living Runes – reddish brown on a light brown raw-sienna background.   In the centre is a sky blue square containing the golden letter D.

What is a Rune?  A symbol hieroglyph that has power to speak, and to arrange the tides and the leaves of life, to pronounce a fate.  The old wizard remembers and casts the Runes.  They are created through his “drawing hand”.

In Black Book 3, Jung noted:  “All kinds of things lead me far away from my scientific endeavour, which I thought I had subscribed to firmly.  I wanted to serve humanity through it, and now, my soul, you lead me to these new things.

red horse & rainbow 2008


“Yes, it is the in-between world, the pathless, the manifold-dazzling. I forgot that I had reached a new world, which had been alien to me previously.  I see neither way nor path.  What I believed about the soul has to become true here, namely that she knows her own way better, and that no intention can prescribe her a better one.  I feel that a large chunk of science has been broken off. 

I suppose it must be like this, for the sake of the soul and her life.  I find the thought that this must occur only for me, agonizing, and that perhaps no one will gain insight from my work. But my soul demands this achievement.  I should be able to do this just for myself without hope – for the sake of God. This is truly a hard way. But what else did those anchorites of the first centuries of Christianity do?  And were they the worst or least capable of those living at the end?   Hardly, since they came to the most relentless conclusions with regard to the psychological necessity of their time.  They left wife and child, glory and science – and turned toward the desert – for God’s sake.”

Sacred India Tarot 10 of Staves detail


Finally – Master R’s (St-Germain) first Violin Sonata, composed in London in the 1750s:





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Balsa Wood and the Whale


desert script

desert script

3 March 2014

The past-life tendency is an inherited “cosmos connection” –  as ancient as the Sahara desert rock formations: the script of valuable objects and humanities.   Cosmos is an ordered and creative universe.

Jung wrote The Red Book during the Great War.   Philemon teaches him that saturation is the only cure:   “They will all become terribly enraptured by these tremendous experiences, and in their blindness will want to understand them as outer events … May the frightfulness become so great that it can turn mens’ eyes inward so that their will no longer seeks the self in others, but in themselves…

“The God develops through the union of the (separate) principles in me.  He is their union.  If you will one of these principles, so you are in one, but far from your being in the other.  If you will both principles, one and the other, then you excite the conflict between the principles, since you cannot want both at the same time.  From this arises the need, the God appears in it, he takes your conflicting will in his hand, in the hand of a child whose will is simple and beyond conflict.  You cannot learn this, it can only develop in you.  You cannot will this, it takes the will from your hand and wills itself.   Will yourself, that leads to the way …”

Isaiah – a little child shall lead them:  an early drawing that my father has – the child carries a snake I think, and leads all the beasts.

Isaiah 1958

Isaiah 1958

 “The spirit of the depths clutched the fate of man unto itself, as it clutched mine.  He leads mankind through the river of blood to the mystery.  In the mystery man himself becomes the two principles, the lion and the serpent.”

That reminds me of my early dream of a bloody garden, the bloody birth, when I was very small.  The similar feeling, and the committed, curious, concerned toil.

Ez Haim - the Tree of Life

Ez Haim – the Tree of Life

I have a mini-cosmos to turn to and copy and absorb into my arteries:  the wisdom, the path which opens, and which I have an ineradicable instinct to honour and record.   It was the same, studying the BOTA alchemy lessons, and before that, Kabbalah … always the lens, enlivened by relationships in the ground.

I feel myself in the sea now, like the drinking glass – not analytical, but noticing.   Swimming like Mercury in the salt:   that is Hod in Binah:  pause to take it in.

Hermes in the sea - from Roob's alchey & mysticism

Hermes in the sea – from Roob’s alchey & mysticism

And who is I?  Why this special I? – the centre of it all, who has the responsibility to keep the world going, even as you do, and as the man across the road does, and God does?   Here is the headlong Mystery. Look for my self!   the opening treasure.

And why am I “right”?   All my references?   They support my ego vessel with all its pretty patches in the waves.  My vessel looks rather like the Kon Tiki raft.  It is just the way things are – without neti neti affectations.   I am rarely wrong, but I am often excessive;  and that is self correcting.   There is balance and buoyancy in the end.  There can only be balance and buoyancy.

Kon Tiki

Kon Tiki

Mention of Kon Tiki pulls up the feel of balsa wood, historically, balsa rafts crossed the Pacific on the Humboldt;  and the new Norwegian voyagers poked their fingers into the soggy balsa, pulled off bits, and glumly watched them sink, and wondered how soon the raft would sink – but the porous went only half an inch or so into the logs. Out of balsa I made small boats and ships …  very soft light wood.   Soft wood and enormous fishes.

For some reason I am now livingly, balsa wood and fish.  The elemental combination and texture pleases me.  Balsa gets soaked but floats:  the great fish is lord of the deep and can go anywhere, but only floats if it is dead.   The little balsa raft felt often nervous of those playful great fish and their curious pokes and plunges.

The raft is the personal self:  the great fish are the ocean Self.   It is satisfying.   The wood and the water have to be the way they are.

Balsa boat 1962 - Annapurna in cumulus clouds

Balsa boat 1962 – Annapurna in cumulus clouds

Surrender is how Yeshua felt, in Nature’s miracle of the loaves and fishes.   Surrender is vast, amazed, and consenting. I retain a curious sense that my heart is healed, smooth and whole.   Rosicruceans drew emblems of the heart in all kinds of tests and trials.  I have one of those books downstairs.   Writing leads to bliss.

Maria:  By all, through all - Rosicrucean emblem 2

Maria: By all, through all – Rosicrucean emblem 2

And what Jung writes (concluding the Red Book’s Part One) about becoming the Christ for the redeeming blood to flow:  that love is sighted but pleasure is blind … is so profound and close to me there is no point in copying it.   He says “Both principles are one in the symbol of the flame.  The principles strip themselves of human form.”

The flame is the inner heart, the organ of life, the “Everlasting” – the everlasting is mentioned in the snake cup sword picture – see previous post – in its inscription.   It smells like a rose.

He concludes:  “The mystery showed me in images what I should afterward live.  I did not possess any of those boons that the mystery showed me, for I still had to earn all of them.” Those words flare into illumination and Life.   To repeat them is my way of “I love you, I know you”.   And temples happen.

ship anchor, Rosicrucean Emblem 1

ship anchor, Rosicrucean Emblem 1

Yes.  I wanted to say, earlier, that the Self-root, the moving I …  the pilgrim’s search for it in the sea … is not found in isolation, for it is relationship, and always flowing into dialogue:  the other as I.   Thus my projections when on land. When we are in the Self, long moments open where there is no concern with I or me:  it is the passage of the Creative in the I Ching Earth-receptive.   And all manner of things illustrate the fundamental love letter, fleetingly and sometimes enduring.   The bliss is when we arrive at the clear Principle.

“Too many still seek outward.  But still too few seek inward, to their own selves, and still fewer ask themselves whether the ends of human society might not best be served if each man tries to abolish the old order in himself, and to practice in his own person and in his own inward state those precepts, those victories which he preaches at every street-corner, instead of always expecting these things of his fellow men.”

Why does the love flow with Jung when I hear that?  Why do I want to shout to him as loud as possible I HEAR YOU, so I write it down for Heaven to see again?   Why do I love the Maestro of the collective subconscious?   And am I not lodging it with him?  Shouldn’t I investigate interiorly, deeper still?

Conversation and hearing each other is human wellbeing, intimacy and bliss. I’ve been following him with Elijah and Salome for weeks:  the bases of the pillars of Solomon – forethought and pleasure;  their taoist weave.   All I hold in my mind, is the picture of Elijah in blue and Salome in red – each others’ tones:  the pilgrim is dressed in white, and the snake is black.

The mind holds visual encounters, rather than words.   The mind has meetings, cliffs of fall.   The mind is the fish of the sea.   The mind is a mansion, meeting, kissing, reflecting, passing.   Who am I?    Never need the answer, for there isn’t one;  just ask.   The bindhu opens – the heart of the mystery opens and never ends.   Beauty.

 “The God holds love in his right, forethinking in his left.  Love is on our favourable side, forethinking on the unfavourable.  This should recommend love to you, insofar as you are part of this world, and especially if you are a thinker.  Their unity is God.  God develops through the uniting of both principles in you (me).  I do not become God through this, or become divine, but God becomes human.  He becomes apparent in you and through you as a child.”

From Arcanum 3 - Hermes, fish, Sun

From Arcanum 3 – Hermes, fish, Sun

Here, every great Sage agrees.  We all have this direct experience, for life is nothing other.   I cannot understand what humans argue about.   Yet the developing of the divine dialogue has a surface crust:  the arguments.

“If you will both the love and the forethinking, you become God.  If you do this, the God is born and seizes possession of the will of men and holds his will in his childs’ hand … he will take the divided will in his hands of a child, whose will is simple and beyond being split.”

Isaiah 1958 - detail

Isaiah 1958 – detail

The Isaiah drawing again – the child plays by the hole of the asp, holding the snake.   He says it is unbelievable how men falsify and lie to themselves.   “You can’t learn it through description, it can only become in you.  …  You should not learn my way but your own. My way leads me to me and not to you.

Jung had a vision of the war, that it was a human self sacrifice, for in it he completed in himself the mystery of the Christ.  He was a lion encircled by a serpent – “an image of fate, eternally renewing itself”.   The spirit of the depths had a need to let the blood, through the spirit of the times.  The long footnote reviews Elijah and Salome, and how love looks further than what it immediately seeks

“The wonder happened (through Elijah) that my previously blind pleasure became sighted.  My pleasure was blind, and it was love.   Since my strongest willing willed self-sacrifice, my pleasure changed, it went into a higher principle, which in God is one with forethinking … … Love wants what is furthest, the best and the fulfilling.

Tarot Key 8 - Lady with Lion - soul strength

Tarot Key 8 – Lady with Lion – soul strength

There is a great deal more on this.  It is topical, and it attunes also to my meeting with Enoch who taught me heaven’s Law of Sacrifice or Translation.   The giver receives in full.

Two pigeons court and kiss and nibble on a bough in the tree outside.   Here, my songs in your tree are lovebirds. Their pleasure, warm grey breast to breast on branch, has no end.  I fetched my camera and focused;  and at that instant, they parted, and they preen themselves.

13 pigeons in spring 1

Presently they came back together, and I took the photo.

14 pigeons in spring 2





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life. COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2013. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Mysteries of Master R – Part 9: Trinosofia Serpent, Cup, Sword

Early sketch of Master R - 2002

Early sketch of Master R – 2002


My copy (below) of Figure IV from the original in the Most Holy Trinosofia took a couple of days.  By drawing these figures, I come into relationship with them, and to understand their mystery. In the original’s low-res facsimile online, the outlines are blurred.

The Trinosofia text of Chapter Four is in the title bar, above.  As I worked into the drawing, the coiled serpent, Cup and Sword in sheath came into focus.  These are powerful symbols.  Taking them into my inner life, they come to Life.  I go over and over the colours until they are rich and strong together, and begin to speak.

The green snake coiled twelve times in the shape of a cone, suggests the Zodiac, and forms an altar.  Actually it is twisted about a spear – I didn’t realise this till nearly the end;  I thought the spear’s shaft was the snake’s dragon tail.

The cone-coiled Kundalini has been in my inner eye for some weeks now.


Trinosofia serpent coil, cup & sword.  The Chaldean inscription reads:  "Reverence this vessel of Everlastingness:  offer freely of yourself a portion unto IA (Jahweh) and to the corner, in atonement

1 March 2014 – Trinosofia serpent coil, cup & sword. The Chaldean inscription reads: “Reverence this vessel of Everlastingness: offer freely of yourself a portion unto IA (Jahweh) and to the corner, in atonement.”  

I had a problem also with the Cup, until I realised its base stands on the serpent, whose coil is the altar.

I wrote in my journal: “A musician who plays well, has to practice a lot.  The prodigy is a quality of INTENSITY – of an intense commitment.  The intensity is of a certain kind.  It is where the intellect is transfigured through deep feeling … the point ( … seeking words for this!) – is always this moment sinking back into the root of the slow breath, a silent kindling, like a pyre.  The wood glows and flows.   The sacrament opens the back of my neck and shoulders:  a living phoenix.”


phoenix copy from trinosofia

phoenix copy from trinosofia

I associated the phoenix with Master R long before I found it in the Trinosofia.  Since last October when I drew this bird, the archetype is powerful and transformative in my life.

A silent sage in his cave, reaches further into life than all the talking gurus.  An individual reaching the subtle level, begins to dissolve.  The point of dissolution, of dissolving, in Alchemy, is the white ash becoming the Bird.  Its song has tremendous subtle energy and commitment:  the translation of varied densities of life to an element that nourishes the human community.  Today’s coiled serpent has red phoenix wings, half opened.   It supports a Cup, next to a Blade – the sheathed Sword.  Master R knew Indian Alchemy, and his Shakti-Siva archetypes – but he wasn’t telling.  In his day, the serpent had rather a bad press, it was considered unregenerate.  In our day, it is Yoga.

Manly P Hall’s comment is illumining:  “The twelve coils of the snake are emblematic of the philosophic year and the spiral course of the sun through the Zodiacal constellations.  In the preparation of the Wise Man’s Stone, the elements pass through twelve stages of augmentation.  In each of these cycles, the power of the matter is intensified, a fact which is suggested by the increasing size of the serpent’s spirals.  The figure is also reminiscent of what the sages termed the philosophic vortex – the natural form of the soul power in the human body.

facsimile of the original

facsimile of the original

“Beside this strange altar stands the jewelled sword.  Faintly traceable upon its sheath are the ancient symbols of the eye, the heart and mouth – life in the heart, light in the eye, breath in the mouth.  The life, the light and the breath are the sources of all things, and from their union in the cruciform symbol, the candidate must fashion the weapon for his protection against the elemental darkness.  The cycle symbol must be overcome by wisdom.  This is the “Sword of quick decision” by which the Oriental neophyte must cut low the snaky branches of the world banyan tree, the emblem of the self-replenishing cycles and the law of rebirth. 

“The serpent is the spiral of evolution;  the cup contains the shining Nirvanic sea into which  the soul is finally merged;  the sword is the illumined will – the same sword which solves the enigma of life’s Gordion knot by cutting it with a single stroke.”

Rosicrucean Emblem - In Thy Valorous Strength

Rosicrucean Emblem – In Thy Valorous Strength

In Master R’s interior journey – see Trinosofia Texts in the title bar and scroll down to Chapter 4 – the traveller walks through fire – the desire nature – which doesn’t burn him ; and strikes the bronze snake a resounding blow.  The walls of the globe around him, fall away into space, and the traveller is lifted swiftly up through the demons of the underworld.  He scatters them with the cruciform sword and bursts from Hades into the light of day.


Manly P Hall again, on the alchemical philosophy:  “The circular space is a distilling vessel which stands in the midst of the furnace flame.  The serpent represents elements within the retort, and the candidate portrays other elements which have the power to dissolve and corrode the serpent.  The rising of the candidate upward through the walls of the globe here signifies the vapours which, ascending through the long neck of the distilling vessel, escape from the heated inferno below.”

In the elder Trinity the Cup is the woman, the Sword the man, and the snake is Life’s electro-magnetic current or force-field.  In the Trinosofia’s Chapter 5, they will transpose to the Altar, Bird and Torch.  See also my earlier post, The Yeast and the Grape.

Altar, bird, torch

Altar, bird, torch


On the Everlastingness
“The spirit of this time has condemned us to haste.  You have no more futurity and no more past if you serve the spirit of this time.  We need the life of eternity.  We bear the future and the past in the depths.  The future is old and the past is young.  You serve the spirit of this time, and believe that you are able to escape the spirit of the depths.  But the depths do not hesitate any longer, and will force you into the mysteries of Christ.”

Philemon and C.G.Jung – THE RED BOOK

Canadian Rockies - waterfall


Here is Violin Sonata No.2, by Master R in his Comte de St Germain persona, during a London visit (circa mid 1750s).  The opening movement has a beautiful serenity.


Sun phoenix card - Version 2

  May the Life, the Light and the Breath be in and of our work.





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Conscious Consumerism



stairs at Gagnac by ben duckworth 2


(I began to write last year, of what I call “The Aquarian Economy“.

This thoughtful article in creativesolblog through “Thoth” – (fascinating wordpress sites for a good long visit, see the link above) – expresses the idea precisely. Let’s use this awareness as much as we can, and help to generate the pattern.  You will want to click again where it says, “Read Full Article”.)


stairs by ben duckworth


Creative Sol Vibrations is a brand of self help writings and products aiming to raise awareness, and to uplift consciousness:  a community. They are a network of writers who tackle subjects such as healing, spirituality, health, recipes, symbolism, and more.


eigg 29 mary crossing a burn





Originally posted on Thoth (Thought):

We have the power to help our communities by shifting our spending patterns. Consumption links us to an interconnected web of business transactions that ultimately has the potential to become a reflection of our personal beliefs.

Directing money towards products sold by independent, small retailers will create a consumer lifestyle in synchronicity with a better world. Every purchase we make gives us the chance to affect change, but for this to happen requires us to think about the consequences of our actions. Creating a better world through shopping sounds to good to be true, but it is possible. The only thing required is thinking before consuming. Greater conscious awareness of our consumption can be a catalyst for global change.

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Mandala, Abraxas and Angel


Jung as Hermit (tarot key 9)

Jung as Hermit (tarot key 9)

As I begin to study and work with The Red Book, further thoughts and dreams spill into Aquariel from my primary blog.

27 December – Part One:  Mandala 

For nearly four months in 1917, Jung was on military service, commanding English prisoners of war.  He wrote, “With us, everything is unchanged and quiet.  Everything else is swallowed by the war.  The psychosis is still increasing, going on and on.”

But he felt in chaos.  He drew in his army notebook, 27 mandalas in pencil.  Some of these are reproduced in Appendix A of the Red Book.  They were a photograph of each day.  At the time, Jung thought fantasies stemming from the unconscious were not art.  But a woman wrote to him and said they were.  Next day he drew a mandala with a piece missing.  Then he realised:

“Only now did I gradually come to what the mandala really is. ‘ Formation, transformation, the eternal mind’s eternal recreation.’ (from Faust) … “Then hold your heart, since the danger is great, and go straight to that tripod, touch it with the Key.”

A living idea of the Self came to him:  “like the monad which I am, and which is my world.  The mandala represents this monad and corresponds to the microcosmic nature of the soul … Only when I began to paint the mandalas did I see that all the paths I took, all the steps I made, all led back to the one point, that is, to the centre.”

Jung's mandala sketches, red book

Jung’s mandala sketches, red book


So the first two books of Liber Novus were transcribed 1913-14.  The third book – Scrutinies – contained further fantasies April 1913-June 1916, including the Seven Sermons to the Dead and commentaries.

So there are:  “The Way of What Is to Come”, “The Images of the Erring”, and the “Scrutinies”.  Jung’s guide Philemon supplied commentaries to the Sermones – those conceptions which the dead lacked.

The whole thing brought through the collective unconscious while the world was at war.  “Scrutinies” contains Jung’s vision of the reborn God/Abraxas – written after the notebook Mandalas in 1917.  As he realised Philemon was not himself, he began to differentiate the I’s which spoke and wrote;  he was aware of the dangers of inflation.  “The work on the unconscious has to happen first and foremost for us ourselves.  Our patients profit from it indirectly.  The danger consists in the prophet’s delusion which often is the result of dealing with the unconscious.  It is the devil who says Disdain all reason and science …”

From my notebooks:

It is time for me to start to draw new mandalas.   The mandala is a Key to the inner and cosmic Self.

Impression of Philemon, detail

Impression of Philemon, detail


I think Jung’s painstaking transcription, calligraphy and painting, put the brake on any inflationary tendency.  It is where Virgo comes in handy!   He had Sun Leo setting in 7th, with Aquarius rising, and Moon in Taurus:  an implied mandala cross of fixed signs.

From a letter:  “It is very important that we experience the contents of the unconscious before we form any opinions about it. …  I have already been working on (the knowledge content of gnosis and neo-Platonism) myself for a long time, and am very glad that you have discovered all on your own this area of work which is ready to be tackled.  Up till now I lacked workers.  …  Extricate your own material uninfluenced from the unconscious, as carefully as possible.

The letter is to J B Lang:  but note also, these ancient words:

“Separate the earth from the fire, the subtle from the gross, acting with prudence, humility and good judgement.  Ascend in your heart with deep wisdom
from Earth to Heaven, then again descend to Earth and unite together
the powers of Above and Below.  Let all ignorance and obscurity fly from you

The Emerald Table of Hermes


Jung added, that his material is voluminous and worked through;  what he lacks is comparative modern material. Nietsche’s Zarathustra and Meyrinck whom he read at the time, were driven by the ego-archetypes of their own period – which obscured the deeper issue.

I begin to feel that … for instance, Abraxas was reborn during Jung’s Great Work, during the Great War.  If so, we live in an inevitable Abraxian era, which a blind god rules indeed:   the Schopenhaurian Will.  It is synchronous with the early Aquarian age, characterized by the collapse of sacred and social infrastructures, and the elementary emphasis on individuals, rather than individuation:  a celebrity cult, where the Great Hero failed.

This to ponder!   Abraxian is the mite of human agency in climate change – a collective blind;  a raw force until it is spent, which rules uppermost in civilization now – it comes and goes.  Abraxas is the light and dark god;  for the One is yet anterior to and encircling all that.   Abraxas is the Unconscious whose parts are made conscious through pain.  It has to be.   Abraxas rules the market forces and the media.

But Abraxas is much more than that, for it is the play of the light with the dark, which has beauty.  We do not adore Abraxas.  We have an informed conscience of Abraxas:  the Abraxian.    Well, this is a new feeling about it all.   And maybe Abraam felt this way, when he set out from Ur with his sheep …  towards the in-forming breath of H in the desert which re-named him, the unending Life and seed of J H V H.

Obviously, to live and work in Switzerland’s neutral snows, in the middle of the swirling carnage soup of Europe, brought forth Abraxas into the light, for Jung.   The fallout continues its course.   Evolved humanity is greater than Abraxas, it is no servant to that power;  yet the lighthouses of evolved humanity are few and far between.   Abraxas is not evil.  Abraxas is the worshipped chaos of the will.   Abraxas is the wind in the tree:  the isobars of the storm, the surge of the living sea.



28 December – Part Two:  Inclosed Garden

Worship in the Indian way, of deities, weathers and archetypes, is to ACKNOWLEDGE them.  So – yesterday’s last paragraph makes me sit up ! – we don’t WORSHIP Abraxas, we acknowledge his reality …  that force of the Will in nature, which is incomplete.   We give respect and consciousness to what we know and see, phenomenologically.  Then we have clarity.  Then we begin to live with integrity, and without waste.

I had at least 3 interesting dreams this morning (again late starting) – but only recall a bit of one of them:  a medieval Queen defied her King-husband’s right to rape her.  She had a secret room in the house, which no one knew of;  she kept the key.  I think she had had her head shaved in disgrace, but when I saw her, her hair was blonde and just page-boy long – about my length – and she wore medieval dress and jewellery, and she was going upstairs in my house, followed by the King and the Priest.  It was the Church’s job in those days, to give the King his brute rights over the Queen, and to supervise their mating.   The secret room in which she would defy them, was in the corner of my upstairs room – the cupboard where I keep some of my archive.

So the procession going upstairs was:  the woman who refuses to be violated any more;  her lord and master who violates her, and the celibate priest who thinks sex is bad, and woman must be punished.  Their legacy lurks in us women, whenever we cannot say No, and when we believe that Mr Prick is boss, Holy Church says so!

So hello, you three.   What are you doing here?   How clearly your figures going up my stairs, spell the word.   But I can find no priest figures in my archive when I was eight:  just the perennial war of queens and kings.


mandala of hildegard of bingen

mandala of hildegard of bingen

Where was I reading the other day, that monasteries and nunneries were where real Love was practiced and beloved?  I mean, they had a refined and joyous love, and women had great power as abbesses and sisters in their garden.   They had holy brothers.  They celebrated a spiritual sexual eros, for they had meditation and work and sanctuary for a while.

Contra this was the Christian-fundamentalist power-base, which became the Inquisition, and filled the people with primitive fears.  So you had the high art-gothique, and you had the Christian taleban – the ban on faerytale:  by auto da fe – the burnings.

The blood on the Church’s hands is the same as today’s taleban –  slaughter of the innocents, and the perversion of God to a fearsome spectre.   The battle is dragged between a fossilized past and a progressive future.  On the threshold of history, the grain is threshed.

Rosicrucean emblem 8 - angel sieves wheat from chaff

Rosicrucean emblem 8 – angel sieves wheat from chaff


Blood self-cleanses yet.   The mainstream Church is no longer fundamentalist, and it houses hosts of good souls and good works, and it struggles with its human limitations, it seeks to understand.  The spilled blood yet reincarnates through religious armouries which cannot move with the times.  Those processes (in the soul) wear the beards!

medieval queen

Royal medieval dress for Queens was – well, perhaps my early drawings remind me – it was a bit like armour in its design – the borders and embroidery are like bonds which confine her, outline her, crisscross her, and inside these are the soft silken drapes of her dress.   Everyone of substance was armoured, framed and castled, for the astro-geosphere was filled with demons and devas, physical and metaphysical – as ours is, by computer-games and “what’s news?” !

In that time of civil war, brutality and plague, many sanctuaries thrived and kept the Word illumined in their eternal spaces which were inclosed gardens.   “An inclosed Garden is my Sister.”   Where was this – I wrote of it years ago!   And those gardens were in due course ravaged and laid waste, and their libraries lost;   but enough always survived, to carry the seed, with its vast spiritual and literary wealth and memory and power of transmutation.

The thought addresses my books of Prospero which I anxiously guard against the current myth of termination.    As I have had this feeling about them all my adult life, and helplessly watched them expand and expand along the shelves – until the laptop came along, to store the story inside – it is inherited from the time of the Inclosed Gardens.

Hear this:   there is no stopping the Seed.   There is no stopping what I honour and give space with.   There is no stopping the beauty of the tree (I was typing “true”).  Here and now, no matter how many trees are cut down, the Beauty of the tree of life – its living, glowing sap and branches through our body – prevails.

Jesus in the distance, by the lake of Galilee

Jesus in the distance, by the lake of Galilee – 1973

Jesus is translated as saying frequently “only believe.”   Belief is an abused word.  The original Aramaic will have meant something more dynamic – like putting all my devotion into Reality, the Transfiguration I have been and seen;  and not forgetting it, or taking someone else’s word for it.

For we are all co-creators in the evolving mud which is Life.   And in and of the Abraxas Will are oases, vibrant, pulsing, where the daffodils and snowdrops grow.   Everything co-exists – the hands are held and grasped, the darkness with the light, the Agony with the Garden.

Sunflower & Ahriman, 1988

Sunflower & Ahriman, 1988


It is the balance.





Snowdrops, fox & owl, 2003

Snowdrops, fox & owl, 2003

Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2013. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

The Eternal Sparkle

The material for this post was written alongside “Sacred India Tarot Archive – Two of Swords” last week.

Sky blue Lane

“ Rough patches”… ?  in the shining road …

How I jog myself and others along over the tiny surface blisters – visible rough patches where a huge iceberg is concealed ! … in my mother’s voice.  Humanity’s tormented burden.   I feel out of touch also with my blog and with the companions there.   But I was pleased with what I wrote last week – of Swords in Beriah as the Law, and their action in the lower worlds, as Karma.

Repeating this here:  Doris Lessing a Universe:  what vast universi people are!   Their immense and unique frames of discourse and of life matter and of countries, politics, love-lives and vision – rub elbows – the daily stuff of washing up and caring for her elderly son who died three weeks ago.   Death as always, brings an intimate contact in the subtle body:  an appraisal:  a silent knowledge.   That soul now moves into the atoms everywhere.   Prana.  Prana is the conscious breath of life.


Hands, heart and boat


I am comprehending many things.  Already I am getting solace.   The dimensions spread out gently and make some order in my gravel bits.   Life comes.  The wind stirs the sad boat.   Peace.   I embrace someone or something I do not know.

Alchemy Eagle Daat


In the Great Work of Alchemy, we speak of the Gluten of the Eagle.  This is the transformation of raw sexuality into the vision of that bird.  In Scorpio – as the autumnal seeds fall into the ground – we borrow strength from the Eagle.  The “gluten” is Ojas!

(Venkatesananda’s definition of Ojas:  “Vigour, spiritual energy, vitality:  the spiritual force developed through the creative power of celibacy and Yoga Sadhana”)  To me, this suggests the regulating of root (descend) and solar (ascend) energy;  how they pass through each other, feminine and masculine.

akasha tejas tattva - sun (heart)

akasha tejas tattva – sun (heart)

A similar idea is in this Akasha-Tejas symbol – the indigo oval is Saturn (Askasha), the scarlet triangle is Mars – the root and sexual chakras whose fertile equilibrium develops a key to the Sun, or interior gold.


Cube Star Tifareth


The power of Ojas is stored in the brain, and it is charisma.  It makes action and speech powerful.   It can be turned to the good or to the bad.

Vivekananda wrote:  “It is only a question of transformation.  The same force which is working outside, as electricity or magnetism, will become changed into inner force:  the same forces that are working as muscular energy will be changed into Ojas.  The Yogis say that part of the human energy which is expressed as sex energy … when checked and controlled, easily becomes changed into Ojas … the Yogi pays particular attention to this lowest centre.  He tries to take up all his sexual energy and convert it into Ojas.”

Sexual energy is a conversion tool or agent.   It gives clarity, brightness and energy to the mind.   What is mind?   a shut-eye shawl of association, images and limitation:  yet mind as a field, is a potential precision tool, or energy converter.   The gluten of the Eagle – Scorpio – is a conversion from the creeping sting to the flying sovereign bird:  the Serpent through the risen coil of Kundalini.


Behind all alchemical practice and philosophy is the trans-gender POWER OF THE GENDER:  the quintessential treasure of Life we carry in every atom – our human-ness –  and which is ignorantly abused and despised – cast out into the street as smut.

I glimpse alchemical Gold behind and within the facade of persons.   It isn’t limited to any particular person – the separating shield in this light, is a working fancy.   It is of the unique yet universal currency wherein we have our being, our texture and concern.   It is in all our cells:  the gut, the blood, the secretions, the flesh.   It is our sexual and parental origin:  The original Face …  outlines the silhouette with gold.

Yogis who haven’t quite got there yet, have said – or were misinterpreted to say – that the whole body with its coiled up organs and sacs and sweat and shit, is filth.

The realised one sees it quite differently.

On sexual continence:  this occurs naturally when REALITY is valued.    Sexual activity might resume,  with a partner(s) for whom the sexual energy is transformation and a sacrament:  a service.

When pondering such, the thought collects itself quiet and still, and the flow of Ojas through the third eye is quite powerful and sweet.   Touch base!

“All the forces that are working in the body, in their highest form, are Ojas.”

Continence increases the energy of influence.   The Intelligence of the House of Influence is Tarot Key 7, the Chariot.   This Key contains the vehicle of speech.  The Charioteer – on the Tree of Life’s feminine pillar – stands like a crocus-shoot in the living Stone  – the earth of the Wise.  Within her armour, you can see that she is … in fact, the Empress.

Here are two Chariots and an Empress.  The one on the right is an early one, with a different system for alignment with the Zodiac and Hebrew letters.


“If you discover it, be silent and keep it sacred.”

Yes.  I don’t speak of it.   “Ordinary human language cannot convey this knowledge from the one having it, to the mind of a person who is unprepared to receive it.”

kundalini pelicans

Aggrandizing the Ojas principle, leads to insanity.  In the Great Work of Alchemy, It is repeatedly flushed out, purified and stabilized.   Once obtained, the container – the person – becomes a transmitter:  a lighthouse keeper – a lamp receiving the oil and beaming it forth – a myriad of lamps like stars:  the stellar engine.   Light moves in waves.   Light is electro-magnetic wave releasing a particular particle called photon.  The cosmic consciousness through the galaxies and the conscious dark matter between them, is the joy and bird song of Ojas:  one and the same as our body.


pelican & phoenix in flask, Roob


We are able to communicate our knowledge to one another.  We signal it from age to age.  (Here, in the acute Kali Yuga darkness, it awakes and signals.)  But we never tell the Great Secret because it never can be told. 

An early B.O.T.A. student referred to it as “THE ETERNAL SPARKLE”.  Yes I have seen and been the eternal sparkle for an unforgettable instant, with no shadow of doubt!   The lower mind has it not.   But I write in my blog of the Eternal Sparkle, in coded ways for those who know, and those who do not, will not get the point, or bother to read.   The actual discovery must be made ALONE.   We went into the desert under the stars.

swan & wise man on camel


  • Another student said, “I rejoice to tell you that I have it now.   I have seen it in wonderful flashes many times, but now I have grasped it with my mind, and have faith that I can hold it.”

Yod and Kaph..

Jacob Boehme wrote:  “While I was wrestling and battling, being aided by God, a wonderful light arose within my soul.

The Yeshua child was in the Star for which the wise are hungry.

The stress is preparatory.  “Look for the flower to bloom in the silence that follows the storm:  not till then.”  (Light on the Path)  “It shall grow, it will shoot up, it will make branches and leaves and form buds while the storm lasts ...”

When Shankara and other sages wrote of the body as a bag of filth they were mistranslated.  They meant that they have – when illumined – a strange  objective perception, rather psychedelic, of the personality (with bags and blood and organs) as a strip cartoon afloat on Reality – the primordial Self.   The strip cartoon blunders along shut-eye in her dream, and sometimes lets in the Dew.

This is the view I have –  while still believing in and concerned with the persons fervently.   The molecular model, the product of the elements and solar establishment with gravity, is what it is – a colouring-book.   And the Buddha nature has for every level of Reality … compassion.

When IT cannot be described by any metaphor, the mind falls silent;  and the furniture melts.

What there is, is carbon free.   A LABEL on a person or an event may sometimes simplify a matter – but beware lest it confine.

“Thou art infinite:  no words can tell.”


 The conversion is a Conversation.   An alchemist’s daily business is to extract essence.

The tide, near Hartland

The tide, near Hartland





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright (c) janeadamsart 2012-2013.  May not be used for commercial purposed.  May be used and shared for non-commercial means with permission and credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Mysteries of Master R – Part 8: Three Trinosofia paintings



The first painting – a bird shaped lamp – in fact belongs to the end of Trinosofia Chapter Two.  A guiding star led the initiate through a white door to the turbulent waters of life – Chapter Three – into which he dived, and was tempted by temporal power.  You can read Manly P Hall’s translation of each chapter (as I go along), in the Trinosofia Texts page in the title bar.

I have a technical problem with reproducing my drawings here.  The yellow in my originals is soft and subtle.  But it scans out hard and greenish.  Even if I erase the yellow in the original, its shadow is still there.   This happens when yellow is placed on white or next to white;  if yellow is next to another strong colour, it is ok.

trinosofia bird lamp

I love the shape of this bird-lamp.  Where the wings should be, is a great curved space.  The bird turns its head to see.  The whole object is a dancer:  a “hold” of ballroom grace.  The lamp stands on a plinth of granite rocks turning gold.  It illustrates the existential interface of psyche, spirit, alchemy with the flat surfaces of our world-view – the rocks bulge out from under the plane of the plinth.


trinosofia 2 Lions_0003

Here are a pair of Lions – scarlet and black – actually indigo blue – in an alchemical sphere.  The red one stands for Mars:  the indigo one for Saturn.

Between them is a crown. There is an arrow to each side, a bow along the base, and red inscribed tablets above and below.  Manly P.Hall translated the (illegible) Greek inscription under the lions, to English, and I had the happy idea to write it out in English:  “Each must sprinkle himself with his own wine from the Mountain of Chios. He must drink to God before the wood.  He must give himself in exchange for that for which he yearns.”

MPH comments: “… Wood was the symbol of Dionysius, and it was in honour of this god of the wood and of the vine that the ritual of the Communion was first established.  To drink of one’s own blood or to sprinkle oneself with his own wine is to be immersed in or tinctured by the inner soul power.  Fermentation was the presence of Bacchus or the life in the juice of the grape, and the Greeks used the symbol of intoxication, as do the Sufis of Islam, to represent ecstasy.  A man in an ecstatic state was described by them as being one ‘intoxicated with God’.”

I assumed the Lions were alchemical ones, and the sphere a flask, or “Lens”.  Not until the drawing was nearly done, did I look at Manly P Hall’s commentary at the back of the book, and discover they represent unregenerate “nobility” and “rulership”.  This is because of an inverted symbol on the red lion’s flank which I didn’t spot, because the online reproduction (of the copy of Master R’s painting) blurred it.   Inversion turns nobility to misuse of power, and rulership to indiscretion – it moves them backward.   Charisma becomes a despot, the red lion lust, the black lion, tyranny.  MPH again: “Those who would accomplish wisdom must overcome these animals if they would reach the Crown (Kether) which lies beyond.  The black lion is the temptation of power … the red lion is the temptation to possess … there can be no compromise with these monsters of perversion.”

Throughout the full text, Master R signalled the perils of “misuse of power” and”indiscretion”.  It is a balance in the soul Triad of the Tree – Tifareth regulates Hesed and Gevura – which must be corrected before the initiate can proceed.

At this point, I include some dakini oracle images from a recent reading for a friend …

dakinis 40,42,41,6

… simply because these pictures move around in my mind just now, and form a phrase of life.

Anyway, my Lions:  the sphere which contains them is a lens.  To each side are the arrows – (2 of Swords, meaning polarity-tension) and under it is the strung bow:  continence of the demons, their transmutation to gold mist.   I don’t agree with Manly P Hall that the clouds they stand on are the world’s pomp and circumstance.  I see the clouds as steam – the accelerated Karma within the alchemic flask or lens.  It “sweats” out the lions and makes them glorious to see.

The inscription above them is in an unknown script – I was able just, to see and outline the letter shapes.  MPH tells us it says “Bend knee and worship God who sends forth his love in winged splendour from Aries the first angle of the world.  The 6th sign Virgo, is the ending and completion of the ages – the symbol of service and renunciation by which the lions may be overcome.  He who gives up life for wisdom, shall receive a fuller life…”

While working on the drawing – it took several hours – I felt its vibrant mystery.  This happens when the Trinosofia illustrations are tangibly recreated.  I don’t know yet their full meaning, but they are energy Keys.  The connection is discreet and powerful:  the colours seem to glow.  I use watercolour pencils and a brush.


trinosofia interior cave of light_0001

In the evening, while watching TV, I copied this strange illustration – (at the end of Chapter Three) of a dark cave with the sea and the sun coming in – adapting it to my inner vision.  It too is a lens – an eye.  The lit up rocks shine like gold.  There’s a little interior landscaping, of trees and a house in the dawn.  It is mysterious.  Compositionally I am the darkness looking out and into which the redeeming dawn shines.  There is a spiral swirl of scribble rock formation.

It belongs with some earlier (1980s) sketches of the inner eye:  a sunlit landscape within the cliffs of fall:  the Hermetic Underbeing.  A friend commissioned from me an oil painting to illustrate G M Hopkins’ poem “O Mind, thou hast Mountains, Cliffs of Fall“.   The painting was subsequently stolen from him, and all that I have is this blurred photo.   Some years later, I re-drew and painted it for myself.  The lost original was precious to me, because a chance paint formation up in the sky suggested a seal’s head … which I developed.

The seal of the ocean was the soul soaring into the sky through a crack in the mountain strata.  In the later sketch, a Capricorn goat grazes on the alp.  Down the sheer dark cliffs to the right, the seeking soul or initiate tumbles … and to the left, Hermes Trismegistos receives him, opening an inner landscape of the eye.


From Manly P Hall’s commentary to the text :
(for the text, see Trinosofia page in title bar)
The first initiation is that of earth, represented by the black passageways in the subterranean regions of the volcano.  To pass this test the body must be subdued in all its parts and become a perfect instrument of the enlightened will.  The bodily atoms and molecules must be vibrated anew … 

“The second mystery in the order of the Memphis rite is that of water, and at the beginning of this section the candidate finds himself standing on the shore of a vast underground lake.  This is the sea of ether which separates the two worlds.  It is the humidic body of the earth, the sphere of generation.  He who would reach the Invisible world must cross this sea, that is, become master of the generative powers of nature (and of his thought).  Led by the blazing star, the candidate throws himself into the midst of the waves.  With his lamp upon the crown of his head (the spirit fire lifted into the pineal gland), he struggles for mastery over the currents of the etheric world.  

“His strength fails, and he cries out to the Universal Cause for help.  A boat appears, in it seated the king of the earth with a golden crown on his forehead.  But the boat is pointed back toward the shore from which the neophyte came.  The crowned man offers the kingdoms of the earth, but the disciple of wisdom … cannot be thus easily tempted.  Strengthened by the power of right decision and aided by the invisible genii, the candidate fights his way to the distant shore.  Before him rises the silvery wall of the moon, the lady of the sea whose dominion he has passed. 

“The fire initiation awaits him.  Having mastered the vital principle of nature by which growth and propagation are controlled, the candidate next faces ambition, the fire of pride and the flaming tyranny of emotional excess.  He beholds the lions, the fire symbols.  The key to the course of action is revealed by the hieroglyphics.  The lions, the writing and the wall dissolve.  The path stretches out through the sphere of eternal flame.

“The alchemical aspect of the symbolism is one of purification or the passing of the elements of the Stone through a bath.  In this process they pass from an earthy state through a vaporous or watery condition, to a fiery or gaseous quality.  The lunar humidity present in all bodies must be dried out, which led the Greek philosophers to declare that ‘a wise soul is a dry one’ …

‘… The moon rules physical generation or the perpetuation of corruptible forms, but the sun has dominion over spiritual generation, the creation of incorruptible bodies.  Man is the progeny of fire (sun), water (moon) and air (the bird of Thoth).  The temptation by the king with the golden crown, suggests one of the most common difficulties of the alchemical tradition.  Those who attempted the art in most cases failed in their quest for wisdom, because they became fascinated with dreams of wealth.  Material gold tempts the alchemist away from his spiritual quest for enlightenment and immortality.”

Zain and Yod - the signs (Gemini and Virgo) which are ruled by alchemical Mercury, in the air and in the ground.

Zain and Yod – the signs of these Tarot Keys (Gemini and Virgo), are ruled by alchemical Mercury, in the air and in the ground.


I find MPH’s commentary very apt, beautiful, and directly relevant to matters I struggle over, at present:  to apply the inner alchemical vision to lessons of daily life, psychology, training and practical assistance to myself and others.   I feel an absolute greenhorn.  The problem is one of regulating my inner vision to the exterior text.   My ideas with people turn out to be raw and naive.


An awakened human life flows along the ground, admixturing, composting the subtle with the gross. The crucible, the mortar and pestle of each day, grinds fragrance. With this idea, the fragrance opens and goes out into the world a little – a tiny puff of Universe prana confected in the soul.  My role is here, making, mixing and breathing it out – the subtle particle with all situations open to it.  I, we, transmit solar-neutrinos which pierce the magnetic shield.  The quantum is homeopathic.  The mountains, the pits of daily life, are small ruts in a muddy lane.

Meet the world’s inconsolable suffering yet again, the increase of evil trafficking, and a woman in North London who rescues children from it and starts to rehabilitate them … and find yet again, that my role is not on that front-line.  I am too open and easily distressed.

Here is the Master as Bulwer Lytton’s Zanoni … and a gem on the table surface.

… and here are two drawings I did for another friend last week – initiations by water and by fire:

rahu 6 aslan

rahu 5 - woman and sea

… and by Air:  a turning Mevlana Dervish

rahu 4 - turning dervish

Enough said!   Mercury and Rahu/the North Node that day, together TURNED Direct in Scorpio.

Finally – Master R’s Third Violin Sonata.  A gem, this one!  a thoughtful opening Adagio, with the answering Andante a bit later. The second of the two Allegros (pp 16/17) when played up to speed, seems to turn and turn – a joyous whirl of planets and galaxies around their polar axes, around the Dervish’s left foot on the ground …

the law of the Dance.




Link to Three Trees of Life


Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2013. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

What is Love?


A vulnerable angel - 1968

A vulnerable angel – 1968

What is love?

We are supplied with a super-abundance of beautiful wise words written or said by other people, and we tend to put them on the wall or make altars out of them. Master R told Anne Davies, “Love and you shall know”.   We need to discover our words from the heart, as they speak themselves.

He said further, “A loved creature, like the Frater’s dog, or like the little bird, has compared to yours, a short incarnation span.  You don’t really shorten that span by loving an animal, but you do plant in that creature something far beyond the usual enfoldment.  Death comes to all bodies, and the death of wild creatures is seldom as quick and merciful as that of these two.

“Yet death is but a door.  Nothing dies but bodies.  The essential being lives on, and whatever has received unselfish, loving care, has been given a tremendous impulse forward, so the power of that love makes possible a very rapid advance in the scale of unfoldment. Not because you loved them did they die, but because you did love them are they farther along the path than they would be, but for that love.

anne davies

“Never fear to love.  Never stint the outflow of that divine power.  What grief and pain seem to be associated with love come always from attachment.  Love seeks not its own, because love never feels itself to be separated from its own.” 

Anne asked, “What if love is not returned?”

Master R sketch 03

“No, Soror.  Love seeks no return, because love knows there is always a return.  Outer manifestation of response is not necessary for love.  Loving is giving, and love feeds itself in giving.  It is we with our short sight, who fail to know what love knows always, that nothing can separate anyone or anything from love.  The whole world came into being by love, is maintained by love, and continues by love.  

“But apart from philosophy, your little bird sings more happily than here, and your dog is closer to you this minute than ever he was while in the body. This we assure you most definitely, and if we are false in this, then is all the rest of our teaching worse than nonsense, for the whole mystery of the universe is the secret of love,
and the triumph of love over death is the supreme victory.”


I was deeply touched with this passage when I first read it, about ten years ago.  It affirmed that whatever I might think or doubt about channeled Masters, here is the Wisdom itself – pure gold.


Turning inward, discovers the inner Teacher, and this is the relationship without which there is no love.   It takes practice.

Love is here and now in expression:  the connection to gravity – but one needs to be  co-creative with it, even when just sitting still.   There needs to be some Mars mixed with the Venus, to see and be the violet ray.

botticelli venus mars


Always flowing with the unbroken connection with the One?   This is misleading.  Of course it happens when I write, because the words come up from that deposit in the subconscious, which is laid down since early childhood in this lifetime, and in invisible lifetimes preceding.  It is the threads in the tapestry.   Very rarely does a human being manifest it all the time.  They do exist but they are few.   The rest of the day – when it seemed so simple just to stay here – is consumed in the usual nags and frets of the dreamer.

Each time, that place is woken, with a fresh insight.   Yet it is an unbroken thread.  Come to it afresh, each time with the ongoing problem and pain in daily life – ask.   The dialogue, corresponding with my own subconscious, awakens love.   Love is a universal quantum, like gravity:  a sense of passionate well being and peace, like a well or a mountain spring.   It isn’t attached to a person, but is easily made to – at the drop of a hat.  Then we start projecting! – that is the convention, in great literature and at the movies.   All the great  romantic love affairs in history have unhappy endings, because they drove themselves into that end-game.  The human collective soul grows to expect this, and to draw nourishment and entertainment from it.

However, Love loves individual human beings in a myriad ways.

Organist - 1968

John the Organist – in Liverpool, 1968

Love cannot be confined.   It is a limitless reservoir from which we drink:  no cup can contain it – (that is the illusion we mostly live by).   But the cup is emptied and is dipped again.   This is according to our own bio-rhythms which sleep and wake in a linear sequence, like waves.

Fact is – there are samskaras and types of Karma embedded in the embodied soul. They all need active expression, to become conscious, transformed and therefore released, and none of it happens overnight. What we get is a kind of fabric – the stuff we have to weave in life, like earning a living;  the state of the human-world; or being a parent or partner.  The worries and tensions are interwoven with the bright thread which is love-eternal – the star-born.   The secret is in detecting the thread, and bathing in it, for a moment at a time;  finding what activity sustains or allows it NOW.   My way is writing or studying.  Your way might be Yoga or studying, or ritual, or parenting.


11 justice - Version 3bota key 11

Constant attention to the Divine is not a practical proposition in life – unless one is a monk It initially inspires, but puts pressure on the student, and further distances him/her from WHAT IS.   When we are inspired, it is at that focused moment ALL THERE IS;  and it lives for ever.  There is no clue in that moment (Key 11), of the small and huge frustrations and fatigues of daily life which cloud it over as the day goes on.  The adepts had just as much trouble as you and me, whenever they were not actually transmitting.


It is hard for me to notice the cosmic Love, when I am right in it, in the strange shapes it presents, here and now, which are not as expected.

It is hard to trust life just as it is;  but to trust it, is the key.

Sky angels over St Malo - 1986

Sky angels over St Malo – 1986


paul foster case - 2003

Paul Foster Case had quite a troubled personal life – I gather, from biographical snippets online – and must have drawn enormous solace from the huge task he was given to do – to write all the books and hundreds of Lessons, to build the School of the Adytum.   The Great Work must have kept him happy and on even keel.   He was the vessel;  and captaining the vessel was the Magid or Master R.   When it all began, Paul got so attenuated with the rush of kundalini-shakti, that he was ordered by the Master to ground himself by drinking wine and eating red meat for a year – so I have been told.

Paul was a master organist – in his heart and soul, as well as in his musical gift.   Music takes practice – feet and hands, keyboard and pedals.   So does Love.   Babies learn to walk first, to run to their parents and be welcomed with joy.  Every single one.

1978 her first steps, 13 months

1978 her first steps, 13 months


The writing, speech and prayer, touches the Hermit’s peak, Key 9, which is eternal:  but the bulk of our life is embodied in Key 18 which is the time it takes.


bota key 9 hermit

bota key 18 The Moon


I saw many people go to neo-advaita Satsang and try to grab what they found there, and take it home.  But they couldn’t.  Why?  Because they were trying to get it from someone else, sitting there and shining and making their heart buzz.  It fades, like an after-image of the sun.  Anyone who wants to, and is good at it, can sit and give Satsang and channel the accumulated focus of all those hopeful and receptive faces.  It is a splendid feeling.  Wisdom flows back.

A ROGUES GALLERY of Satsang teachers in London, 1 April 1999
I collaged these portraits together for April Fools Day –  pages of an old journal.

But to attend to your organic inner language of the same, takes time, passion and commitment.  It takes really valuing and savouring the earliest feelings in childhood, good and bad.   Here, you are a pioneer.   No one ever expressed them, but you.  But when you say and discover them, you may go out, and a book will fall into your hand from a shelf somewhere, and show you that these unique feelings and flavours were and are all over the Ancient World and its ageless wisdom, as archetypes.  ( That is how Kabbalah discovered me.)   The Ancient World is here and now, like looking down into clear water.

Attend honestly to what feels Real for you – beyond speech, and before literacy.  Touch it inside.

Then you will find, when you study the Tree of Life, or any spiritual path, that you have been there, heart and soul, and recognise it and the Lessons in principle, with your life and leaf, with the blood vessels and capillaries through your body.  This is love – the holy greeting.   The smallest response is That.   It is the still small voice.  It is NEVER the big billboard.

small angel, 1956

small angel, 1956

The distractions of 21st century human life – as in any century – are immense.   Nobody expects you to be awake all day.   No one is.  It is fluid like the sea, and like a sky of storms and sunlight.   If you are on the peak for long periods, it tends to stagnate and to form for itself a pedestal;  then come all the problems of Key 15, which close up the open sky of Key 6 and put it into the boxes in Key 20, whence arise again the Delivered ones;  your interior holy Family.   Resurrection is salvage.

Holy Guardian Angel beckons with the trumpet note which is known uniquely and privately to your inner self.  Find and hear it!   (Keys 20 and 5.)

Visualisation – and keep it simple – instructs the flow of the blood and cells, as in the Lessons on the Hermit and Virgo.  From that kindled vitality arise the pictures of the soul, with your breath:  prana..

The great problem in spiritual work is Dryness.  That is when we cannot quite form a living connection – relationship with what we are studying or praying.  It is like going to an exhibition and just looking at pictures by someone else.  Yet we know it is the soul’s own ground, and our true nature, else what are we doing with prayer?   Intuitively, instinctively, it is known … “only connect.”.   The sense of being separate, is the problem.   And it comes from making many ardent possessions of thought, and capturing them for security:  identifying with them at Hod.   The entire business is transacted between Tifareth and Hod, Key 15:  solve et coagula.  Solve et coagula – again and again.   Renewal.  Mirth at my extravagant delusions.

We tend to be misers with our gold.  One who keeps his gold in a box, cannot enjoy it.   We all do this more or less, because life and the economy is scary and we are insecure.   We were taught to, by our parents, and we teach it to our children.  So the insecurity manifests, globally.

Alchemy.   I have psychological scars from youth, in relationships.  This ground was given me to work with for the rest of my life, like a patch of garden.   It is often heavy, and I get depressed.  Transforming pain, and the reactivity from it, to something creative which forgives it – because the creative something is part and parcel of that trauma’s quintessence – is my job, the job which Upstairs gave me to fulfil.   I am certain I perceived and accepted the whole thing before I was born.  Then it had to do its time – the meeting, the falling in love, the psychological abuse, which triggered dormant dragons in deep past Karma which needed to be exorcised and delivered to the Light.   It was and is long, slow and thorough.   I find it really difficult to be straightforward and honest with someone, when the words don’t come.

So I value the terrible times, because of what underlay them, like gold in the dark mine, and erupted through them;  because of what they really are.   Gold!   Philosophers’ gold, ultimately.   There is no real discovery in the spiritual life, without the earth bound stress of realisation … digging out the gold by whatever way is given.   Jesus said Use your Talent.  You know what it is.

The flowers in spring push up gently through the resistant membrane of the ground.

stock-footage-crocus-in-spring-sweden  ..

The gold in the rocks and minerals of earth, is congealed Sunlight.   The same flows in our veins, as red and white corpuscles.   It breathes us in and out.  We breathe.  JHVH.

When a certain depth is touched, there is no one who can heal it but myself;  so I was unable to work with therapists. (Each time I tried, it was a fiasco!)    I turned to my creative gifts instead, which were put here, for this reason;  to investigate their source, language, and transmute the darkness into light.  It still goes on.   To begin with, it was extravagant and on a chattering high.   Over the decades, it sobered up and became more rounded.

I am  close to two persons who survived hell.   Living with their courage, and with their tiny organic changes which spread eventually far and wide, is Alchemy.  Today I grieve.  There is much pain in my life at the moment.  But I think it teaches me about myself, where I come from.

THE KEY TO IT ALL IS CONCENTRATION … on the living Thread, like doing a carving or writing a poem.   Focus.  Focus is love.

Many seekers are babies being weaned off formula.


I listened to Oscar Wilde talking through a medium – this was on Elene’s blog.  He began with petulant impatience on how dim most people are, and ended with a drift of spiritual platitudes which sent me to sleep – I was very tired.   But it is entertaining, humane and interesting.   He was reluctant at first, to divulge his name.  He said it had got him in a lot of trouble.  It is very difficult for a soul on the inner planes, to get through our linear fog screen.

The one on the right is a much better drawing.  I am always surprised by what happens when I turn the photo upside down and draw from that.  The volume and modelling are better.  It is something to do with seeing just what’s there, without short cuts, or habits;  attention.




Link to “What is Thought?” in my other blog

Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

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