Black Sheep, White Goat – What is True?

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Black Swans: Detail

Black Swans: Detail

Following my moment “for-GIVE-ness” on Christmas Day, both my blogs feel a bit frisky – needing to run in tandem.  “What is True?” was written a couple of days ago, in response to John who writes thoughtfully about love.

I shall get to work with autopoeisis, Yggdrasil and the Tree in the early New Year for “Aquariel”.  Speaking of interrelated psychic, emotional, spiritual and physical immune-systems however, the following ideas are in the picture – it begins at home.

It is customary to moan about humanity.   This in my view doesn’t get us ANYWHERE.   It’s like bullocks putting their heads together for a good moo.  We have to reach deep into ourselves for what is Real, and to act.    This is rare.   The majority of humans don’t have the training, the perspective or the insight – and nor does mind’s habit-base, especially when tired.   So of course our heads fumble, shuffle and snort along the fence.

In Devon


I reached it on Xmas day.   I touched the human place – or rather, it touched me.  Subconscious opened, and delivered.  Now I watch her move up into my more mundane strata and fall into various shapes and sizes;  how will she make me act, or draw back from reaction;  what dominoes will she push? – Watch this space.

As to being truthful in love:  this is rarely available in the way I would like it.  Consider the pressure of My Truth against His Truth or Your Truth.   Which is more true than any of the others?    It is better on the whole to keep quiet, and to let truth act, without blethering about it.   A gesture speaks more than words;  a kindness, a change of air.   We are humankind. Countless times I broke down, in my effort to tell the truth as I see it, and still I do, and still I try … but more feebly.

What “lets the truth act”?   It is the transcendent “cosmic” wisdom.   Sometimes it takes hours, sometimes months, sometimes many years.   When the Truth appears in a relationship, it is beyond my belief, beyond my careful verbal construction.  It is vital, from the heart, from the core, from the bone-marrow;  it moves me to the right thing – it takes two to Tango.   If I want Truth, I must discover my deep belief in lies, and expose it on my mountain top.   If I want Truth I must reach deeper than my programmed platform .  I must reach towards the Vision.   The Vision is rarely available to the huff and puff of speech.



If I want truth, “i” must stand aside, and not in its way.   Learn to respect the truth in the one whom I was trying to convert to my view.   It may surprise me.  I am not the only follower of truth.

If I want truth, I find it in his eyes, his mouth and the way it beats in his chest.   I enjoy his humanity:  I feel what it is like to be him, “to be YOU”.   There is a spontaneous pleasure and freedom, to stand in his shoes and wonder what it is like to have his legs, his thoughts and worries – the mystery of being him and his problems, as well as being myself.  I chuckle with his comedy.  This isn’t co-dependency, it is the opposite.   It is the living IMAGINATION through which our full human conscience thrives.    Being fully human is to live in paradox.   I come from in between, and I include both sides – it opens the window to every side.    When Jesus said “love one another”, he meant this.   Jesus was and is this.

4  Cube 3 copy

When I am aware how “his this” is, a perspective on Earth opens which is different to the prevailing belief.   It is as if I toiled along between hedges and houses, they all had my usual picture on them;   then I voluntarily change my level, and I see the whole landscape fore and aft and all around.  I see right through the walls of my belief or the collective belief system.   I am raised up into my Dimension which is truth.   This is why the Dalai Lama and all the Maestri smile genuinely, whatever happens down among the narrow houses and hedges.  The Dalai Lama’s people suffered diaspora, they were invaded, raped and displaced;  his unconditional, and hard-won wellbeing, is the head and heart held high;  walk tall.   Talk peace with the conquerors.   This is bravery, power.

It is transpersonal and remains firmly rooted in everyday life.   Once glimpsed, it is never forgotten.   A daily FOCUS is necessary, to practice the instrument.   This may be meditation or prayer or a garden or any work in a tradition of integrity.   My daily meditation hears what is said, and “writes”.    A Master once said to a disciple, “We come not to the charm of your personality but to your clarity of mind – your third eye.”

Annika and Aslan sketch

Paul Foster Case said “Change the pattern, and you change the result.  Make it accurate, profound, courageous, positive. Then you tame the lion, and he becomes your servant.”

When I see truth, I don’t need to persuade my partner or anyone else of it.   He or she is truth right now, and opens to that realisation in their own time.   This is what the sages mean when they perceive and say, “You are already realised.”   They see life and humankind as a branch of flowering buds, some destined earlier, some later.   The tree is bound to flower and bear fruit.   This includes compassion with the hurts, the limitations and sorrows of the tight bud, the dark path.   All of these are integral to the way it ultimately blossoms from the wood;   and the sages weep with us.

Meanwhile in the daily biff and baff, I try to be honest.   But tact is essential.   I get to know my cher ami slowly.   We’ve been going together for nearly seven years.  We love each other, and about twice a year we get utterly furious with each other, and split up for two to five weeks.   Then we get back together, refreshed from the whirliwash:  it is a rhythmic cycle by now.  So I mustn’t worry.

In relationship I am inarticulate.  There is no sense in hitting an old soldier’s wounds with a sledgehammer.   I was sledge-hammered by a Hungarian when I was young, so I know.   It is best not to even touch the wounds until I am sure.   And who is?

Let it crack you open

That one who sledge hammered me, is the one I touched base with in the magic of Christmas day.  Had he been more skilful, just one gentle tap would have done the trick.   Deep down, there is a little dawning.   I do not have to do it.   It is doing itself.   We are all connected through gravity.   Shifts of consciousness show the way.   Shifts of consciousness are tiny ones – an acute angle, a point –  but on the galactic protractor, they are vast arcs between the stars.   This is where it starts.   HERE.   Nowhere else.   HERE is every where, and now here:  the tiny woodland flower.

The sledgehammer is what we are to each other, when we believe we are right.


The still, small voice 

If you look HERE 
you’ll find. 

If you play with your sword 
you won’t;  but I’m HERE 
our bridge. 

You may not hear 
what touches you 

but HERE, my songs 
in your tree are lovebirds.

Poems of Eclipse 1999

109 peacock copy

I wanted to find out more about “Aquariel”, the title for this blog – “an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life” –  with Gaia and the quantum leap.  Yesterday I googled it online, and dropped at once onto a website (see below), describing Archangel Aquariel.

“From an Earthlings Anonymous post by Gaele Arnott.”  The website is

“The color blue-green of peacock is part of the new color system which has been downloading into our consciousness over the past few years. Since 1998 I have been seeing colors so different that there really is no description in our language to describe these colors.

This blue-green color of the sea is protected by the Archangel Aquariel, who sits behind Archangel Gabriel as a CEO for Clarity.

”Archangel Aquariel also protects the ‘new’ 8th Chakra of the thymus. This chakra plays an important role in connecting the heart to the throat chakra. It is important that we consciously think about how we can boost the immune system. The thymus chakra also connects through the medulla at the base of the skull to assist in connecting to the Higher realms.

”The energy of Archangel Aquariel brings us balance between earth and sea. 
He talks with the Dolphins, then shares with us this knowledge of spiritual evolution. 
The Dolphins connect with Peacock and gift to us the ability to know ourselves in truth, so that we have the self-confidence to walk our path as we choose.

”Peacock as an animal totem allows access to the Karmic connections between the soul and physical connection. It carries the energy of the Phoenix which allows us to rise from past differences and challenges.
The peacock with its loud raucous call doesn’t let us forget who we are and from where we came. It’s call has the sound of laughter letting us know that we need not take life too seriously – that it is after all only a game we came to play.

”Whatever the lessons, challenges and games under the totem of this color blue-green of the peacock we are reminded that we are constantly guided and protected by Archangel Aquariel.”

Gaele Arnott

This makes sense – particularly as concerns connecting the thymus to the way we speak and express what we are: the alignment with our planetary body’s health.  Thymus is just above the heart chakra.  It is awake in children, pregnant women and alchemists.

Peacocks in the rose garden - detail from "Black Swans"

Peacocks in the rose garden – detail from “Black Swans”

He stands behind Gabriel, the beautiful face of God.  He is greenish blue, the colour of Scorpio in Tarot.  His creatures are the peacock and the dolphins’ school.  His rulership, the new “octave” chakra, links heart and throat through the thymus.  I write of speech and silence in this post – “What is True?”  Through this “octave” centre, we voluntarily enhance our immune system.  This has a knock-on effect through relationships, ecology and ideas.

Didn’t Jesus say something about what comes out of us, never mind what goes in?  Where is that thought?  It has something to do with: never mind what the priest prattles.  How YOU say what you have to say, is important.  It is in Tibetan Tonglen also:  the compassion to breathe in my friend’s dark, and breathe it out as light – a steady transformation.

Black sheep, white goat!  A photo of "Rose" on

Black sheep, white goat! A photo of “Rose” on   She is the queen of their herd.


Here, “Aquariel” aims to travel – planetary and personal autopoeisis, as an individuation.  Clearly, the way we express ourselves is crucial for health, strength and boundaries.  If we permit the negative sneak, our shield – our magendovid – is weakened.

Being where we are, to be positive about things requires consistent creative intelligence and maintenance.  Every single small individual willing to practice this, is gold dust.  Who else will?  Not the governments or local authorities – how can they?   They don’t know, and they do their british best.  Yes Dave, give it your best shot!   Good on yer …

The prime minister in the Daily Mail

Flooded Britain – the prime minister in the Daily Mail




Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

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