Let us form a vessel …? In the Gayatri Mantra, the brilliance of enlightenment is perceived in the air between the trouble and grief and terrors and tension and pollution in the world. Give room: the pain of life as it is. Do not inflate pain into personal woe, which shuts the room and makes it noisy.
om bhur bhuva ha svaha
tat savitur varen y am
bhargo devasya dhimahi
dhiyo yonah prachaha dayat
Through the coming, going and the balance of the essential nature
which illumines existence, is the adorable One.
May all perceive through subtle intellect
the brilliance of enlightenment.
Translation by Deva Premal
Near my mother’s house, there is a steep hillside into a bouncy valley. A direct perception opened: walk down into my face – a Quantock bowl of fields and villages … or as in the drawing above, the Welsh coast near Strumble head. Inclusively, my hips and feet flow soft with gravity, the descent, receiving the earth, the dance, the touching.
Grief stings my heart – my mother’s sister died at 93, and the dog in London is gone – the field broke apart to enter the valley I am. I am free. The fields, the undulant hills and trees are my facial features; I have no other. The steep lane and wide encircling landscape arouse my philosophy, my space of being … beyond speech.
I discover an identical resonance in the Gayatri mantra, the Lords Prayer, the Hail Mary and the Kabbalah Invocation: “let thy will be done.” Particle-waves of enlightenment are latent within the body of each circumstance. Within every challenge of love, grief, boundaries, fair conduct, discernment and “I will”, the opening catches me inescapably. My father called the hardy pink campion flowers “bridget in her bravery“. Bravery is the bride.
I finished and published the Minona post in my other blog (17 September). The Minona and Beethoven drawing which I had such trouble with, is powerful. The soft blaze of grief is in her eyes.
I went on reading my 2014 journal on the bus home from the Quantock hills, enjoying it; I raised my spirits by softly singing the Gayatri mantra for a while. There is a lot in my journal last year, about the evolution of eros in our world. Adam-Eve had thoughts which grew into trees, animals and life – did I not walk down the Quantock hills into these, my soul body, my absence into Real-I?
Make this intention ongoing through the “unknown cognition” towards a community of grace. Let go into the opening field space. The blue Maurice Nicoll Commentary books contain the essence of Self enquiry, Ramana’s teaching, for post war western survivors in the Work.
So what to write now, to connect? Wait and listen and it shall come. Be willing for the Master to write. Remain quiet. I woke depressed and confused this morning, semi-dreaming about getting stuck on sheer pillars of rotten rock and cheating my way down to the ground. The false mind sets cruel tasks. But earlier I dreamt I was in a car with a man from the past – and our legs touched, and the feelings blossomed like they used to, brooking no deflection. I want to move on, yet the way in this lifetime powerfully embraces each other.
To connect, I wait and listen to Nicoll’s Commentaries: “You cannot reach Real I through personality, only through development of Essence…. Essence however, cannot grow unless personality is formed around it by life on this planet … A man must learn from life, become a good Householder …” In other words, God does not create us perfect, we are active, responsible participants in the Re-membering.
“You may ask why, if we were created perfect, at a level higher than Earth, it is necessary to be made to descend at all. The answer is that a being created perfect has contributed nothing to its own development. It would be easily tempted. Man by descent and ascent thus becomes stronger ‘than the angels’, as it is said somewhere.”
My sense of descending into the Landscape Bowl of mud and villages and steep fields and curving lanes as my vital parameter, awakens. When it is separate, or just a background, I am shut away from empathy or taste of Life.
Crossing the road at Hammersmith bus station – all the moving flock are “I”. Their mystery moves through mine and is my being; I create them as God does, or a child in the garden of being. Their never ending history is ready made. The instant they are created, their infinite past thread springs to life, just like that. This perception has no room for war, and outmodes religious conflict. When such a thought form is focused and strong, it has power to connect and to generate life and love.
I am reading The Never Ending Story by Michael Ende, which suggests that creative imagination in the human psyche strikes eternity fore and aft as it becomes fully conscious; there is no beginning or end to being. But great gaps of Nothing encroach, where the faculty is abused, distorted and destroyed.
The great evolutionary change occurring in humanity may be the shocking revolution that there is no heavenly thing or ruler which is God.
Instead, the dimension of God is kindled with the tinder-sticks of compassion laid together. The moment God is kindled through compassionate empathy and acceptance of each other, the One Reality, unendingly past and future, is omnipresent. We can no longer devolve our responsibility onto an almighty figurehead: that was the codependent dream of infants. Opportunities to ‘do the beautiful’ as the Sufis say, are given to our inter-dependent re-cognition. We see what was and is done by religious wars to destroy life and origins, and in the media jungle to erase human worth: the gaps of Nothing in the never ending story. There is an enormous resistance to awakening; the ground resists the upward spring; the long dark shadows cast by the rising sun, are Karmic samsara enclosures, which slowly fade.
Return to the flowing nature of God: the tetrahedral cycle of J H V H through human eternity: the vital solar spark of SAVITUR in the Gayatri, through the subtle intelligence.
Nicoll asks, What is Understanding? “If Intellectual and Emotional Centres cooperate, then understanding begins. Does it mean a seeing together of many things from many points of view, and so quite distinct from one-sidedness?”
“We make aim in the Work, but do we understand our aim?”
To understand is essentially, to connect, with all our parts.
To be present when I am in pain or sorrowing, is to earth it. Then pain and sorrow are not trapped in thoughts or moral scholars, they exist freely. There is no argument or resistance to existence. “If you don’t fight with life, life takes you up, puts you on its shoulder …” Pain and joy and the light of foot belong here equally and seamlessly, passing into one another. If I grasp the root stem of my grief, it becomes still and holds the ship like a mast. Upon the larger part of my being, the words to tell are a scrap, a wet hanky only. Moments of inner connection are searing, silent and deeply satisfying. The understanding is not verbal. Understanding is presence … stand under the water falling.
Moments of the inner connection connect with this level of being, throughout the humanosphere. My inner connecting connects socially, and beyond. In this strata I may pick up the Messages of the Great Ones. We are a fleet of living masts – and masts are aerials, antennae, antakharana – the One mast, of infinite variety.
Signal the Companions of the Light.
Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.
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