Approaching Death is Life

 

Forest Medicine 2000

Forest Medicine 2000

“What will you do God, when I die?” (Rilke).  What will I do when my father dies?

I am reading the Castaneda books again. The Teachings (which terrified me in my psychedelic twenties) leaves me unmoved now, but the next book, A Separate Reality, awakens my seeing. This idea and its practice is seminal to my vital life. It gets submerged and reappears as a reality and re-membering.

What is seeing? It is when my heart-path sees through appearances and chimes the interconnecting filaments which bond every unique thing like gossamer. We humans are not those mere shapes in which we depress and die: we are egg-auras of the omnipresent flowing filaments, filled with awe and pulsation. When I stop looking, and see, I let go of depressing worries about my father’s discomfort as he grows much weaker, and my mother’s fret, and instead I focus the current. To see is to receive.

1968 sketch

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The current has within it the wisdom of time, place and providence. It gives me freedom, space and sanity. It touches the other with that strength of purpose and surrender.   For me, everything boils down into the practice of seeing.   When this way is open, the silly mind is silent. Seeing floods the mental engine and stops its opera.   Real mind then works efficiently: connections and arrangements are made; the right level of care falls into place; patience knits.

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Paths of Awakening

Paths of Awakening

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In fact the trap-door opens. In the Tree of Life, the Daat catflap opens, so the transpersonal informs and revitalises the personal vehicle Yesod.

I must keep this way open for when I too am crumbling and dying and losing the plot. When it is closed up, I am tired, querulous and crazy. When it is open, I am my real self and sane. The worst thing for we humans about old age and dying, is the conditioned fears, papers and complicated houses, which crowd in and clog us up.

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A warrior learns throughout life to dance to his or her dying: crows (turned silver) fly along the sunset – the image from the Teachings of Don Juan is very beautiful.   The only thing I can do for my dying parent is to be mindful of my warrior-dance and his: to see.   Over his house each morning at dawn flies a carol of starlings almost in murmuration.  (See this link for videos).

A family carries the same principle as a murmuration. (A spiritual or martial movement does the same.) A murmuration is a flock of birds forming fish-like patterns in the sky. The murmuration carries single birds in a singing cloud, constantly changing its shape, and greater by far, than the sum of all its fluttering hearts.

It is the same with the cells and all the moving parts of the body: the individual element serves the greater intelligence, in the natural state. Joy is a dissolution of conflict, as waves become the sea. Through conflict, we grow.  It arises, settles, changes and vanishes.

indian sparrow or crow

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To see is the opposite of the life-habit way of looking-at. Perhaps animals see, and know therefore far more than we do.   Seeing includes the raw fear built into nature and earth’s tension and predators; but the beatitude around the seeing is radically different from our angular human bungalows.

Plants and stones see.   So do stars and angels and demons. So does our planet Earth Gaia, with the sores in her skin: a different order of time.   I then see the days and months and people coming and going in my father’s house and his struggle with failing heart aged 93, as an eye-blink, a preparation for the birth which is his death and planting: it awaits the astrological cadence. It could be weeks or several months, or more. It could be tomorrow. With this view I relax with the rugged rocks of necessity, and can be more present and helpful.

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Seeing as a practice, is a compassionate, tender objectivity.   The seer engages more intimately with the condition than she could when she dramatised about it. To see is a conscious decision to switch off the drama.

My daily drama which blankets life is death.

Approaching the reality of physical death is Life.

I am getting tentative hold of this concept.   I live mostly in the walking dead – thus the conflict of nations and beliefs. As physical death draws near, Life becomes exposed – essence of life and pain: truth.   An essence of life is taken through the birth canal of Daat in the Tree of Life, as the physical heart lets go of its grip, its rhythm with the viscera … and then it flies.  Rekindling my sense of this, may assist my father by resonance, as we are close, we are both Capricorn-Cancer, the coastal path, the human song.

The sea beats against the cliff and the land falls into the sea.   When he read the Castaneda books he said the Sonora desert is a conscious power-point, like the ions along a rocky coastal path, where waves meet the rolling fields. We live and die into this eternal sound of one hand clapping. Time passes.

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house inside

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Contemplatively, I hold him in my arms with this. I renew his philosophy and his quest: his name and form fade into the landscape, into the music and the birds.  His body farmed the land for a teeming moment, for almost a century!  Thank you for the green fields we knew and grew in, and all their names!

Contemplatively I scan the ocean ahead – what will it be like after he dies?

How can I know?  I feel in touch.

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coastal path, near Hartland

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Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/

 

 

For Christmas

Wishing you joy at Christmas …

Mary and Gaia

Mary and Gaia

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Star, Cross and Crescent

May the Star of David, Cross of Christ and Crescent of Islam dwell together in Peace, Israel

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sun rays - the path of community

sun rays – the path of community

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Dervishes at Colet House

Dervishes at Colet House

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The path:  Flowing

The path: Flowing

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candle on tree

candle on tree

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madonna and child - 1957

madonna and child – 1957

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Yazidi 2

Yazidi

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Merlin

Merlin

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Sun and Earth

Sun and Earth

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the Goddess Kwan Yin

the Goddess Kwan Yin

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Yeshua and Miriam

Yeshua and Miriam

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baby asleep

… and peace, prosperity and joy in 2015.

wreath+holly+vintage+image+graphicsfairy+gr copy

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Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/

In the Sea and onto the Beach

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footfall

In my previous post – the Altar, Bird, Torch with Master R – (and also The Desert Rose in my other blog) the traveller begins his journey in the desert.  These passages from C.G.Jung’s Red Book companion it:

“Your heights are your own mountain, which belongs to you and you alone. There you are individual and live your very own life.

“If you live your own life, you do not live the common life, which is always continuing and never ending, the life of history and the inalienable and ever-present burdens and products of the human race. There you live the endlessness of being, but not the becoming. Becoming human belongs to the heights and is full of torment. How can you become if you never are? Therefore you need your bottommost, since there you are. But therefore you also need your heights, since there you become.”

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I am deep down in myself just now, this morning, standing in the ravine, looking up and out among my mountains of affection, sharpened cares, and failures, the way they peak the sky.  In alchemy we are called “the miners of the mountains.”   Within the mountain strata are veins of congealed sunlight, the living gold.   This is life, and all the weathers.

I recall right now, a very early childhood nightmare (age 3 or 4?)  – a range of glittering white mountains, all of them wept with some unendurable song of the Spirit:  I cried, and ran to my parents’ bed.

"The Fish's Tail`" - annapurna2, www.cys-hiking-adventures.blogspot.com.

“The Fish’s Tail`” – annapurna2, http://www.cys-hiking-adventures.blogspot.com.

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There is more, on the heights and in the depths, and: “You think you are standing still like swamp water, but slowly you flow into the sea that covers the earth’s greatest deeps, and it is so vast that firm land seems only an island imbedded in the womb of the immeasurable sea. As a drop in the ocean you take part in the current, ebb and flow. You swell slowly on the land, and slowly sink back again in interminably slow breaths. You wander vast distances in blurred currents and wash up on strange shores, not knowing how you got there. You mount the billows of huge storms and are swept back again into the depths …

wave break one

  “You had thought that your movement came from you and that it needed your decisions and efforts, so that you could get going and make progress. But with every conceivable effort you would never have achieved that movement and reached those areas to which the sea and the great wind of the world brought you.”

There is so much here about the brilliant underworld of the sea, that I feel his paintings and their colours begin to stir. There would evolve – I think – the “method” whereby the unknown surfacing onto distant shores becomes lucid, and delivers itself through subconscious-associative “strings”. There is  a mystery and an accuracy.   There is a condition of watchfulness: the music.   Be still and know I am God.

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“But from far off, your heights shine to you above the sea in a golden light, like the moon emerging from the tide, and you become aware of yourself from afar. And longing seizes you and the will for your own movement. You want to cross over from being to becoming, since you have recognised the breath of the sea and its flowing, that leads you here and there without your ever adhering: you have also recognised its surge that bears you to alien shores and carries you back, and gargles you up and down.

wavebreak 2

“You saw that it was the life of the whole and the death of each individual. You felt yourself entwined in the collective death, from death to the earth’s deepest place, from death in your own strangely breathing depths.

“Oh – you long to be beyond; despair and mortal fear seize you in this death that breathes slowly and streams back and forth eternally. All this light and dark, warm, tepid and cold water, all these wavy, swaying, twisting, plant-like animals and bestial plants, all these nightly wonders become a horror to you, and you long for the sun, for light dry air, for firm stones, for a fixed place and straight lines, for the motionless and firmly held, for rules and preconceived purpose, for singleness and your own intent.”

wave break 3

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The fossils of early creature organisms, look like feathers. Their DNA lattice is simple. They were planted in the seabed and they couldn’t move. They were epidermally nourished – they had no mouth. As aeons passed, they shifted, the organisms developed little creeper filaments on their underside, like starfish.   And when the tide cast them ashore, because they were Life, they adapted, and with the aeons, they became shoreward beings; they grew, and moved, and devoured, and returned to Nature what they ate.

The early organisms – in the atomic lattice – are what we are now.   It is in our bones and lizard memory – the medulla oblongata.   And what is this within us, yet to be?  to become?

Jung’s paragraph about the sea and land, is also about the desire, from immersion in the Mother Anima, to become defined, to make straight lines and plant flags – to become male.   When we are conceived, we all are feminine – the primordial element: and at around three months gestation (or a little earlier?) the embryo differentiates the sexual organs; in his case, to the male. To a man.  Male children are immersed in their mothers, then they wrestle to get free.

In elder traditions, the adolescent boys are taken into the forest or the desert for their Initiation. When they come back, they no longer belong to their mother, but to the tribe; their seed is strong and fertile for the women.

The paragraph reminds me also of childhood dreams in the Yorkshire moors or on a road;  I couldn’t move, I couldn’t walk forward, however hard I tried. Everywhere around me was huge, and the parents were a struggle to reach.   Small children have this powerful and frustrating desire in the soul, for independence and to travel. Suddenly aware in the new and powerless “I-me”, we burst out crying, and raise our arms to be lifted and taken.

little girl at a party, 1954

little girl at a party, 1954

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“The knowledge of death came to me that night, from the dying that engulfs the world. I saw how we live toward death, how the swaying golden wheat sinks together under the scythe of the reaper, like a smooth wave on the sea beach.”

I have to copy nearly all of this poem – to honour it now.

“He who abides in common life becomes aware of death with fear. Thus the fear of death drives him toward singleness. He does not live there, but he becomes aware of life and is happy, since in singleness he is one who becomes, and has overcome death. He does not live his individual being, since he is not what he is, but what he becomes.

“One who becomes, grows aware of life, whereas one who simply exists, never will, since he is in the midst of life. He needs the heights and singleness to become aware of life. But in life he becomes aware of death. And it is good that you become aware of collective death, since then you know why your singleness and your heights are good.

genesis in the retort (3)

genesis in the retort (3)

“Your heights are like the moon that luminously wanders alone, and through the night looks eternally clear. Sometimes it covers itself, and then you are totally in the darkness of the earth; but time and again it fills itself out with light. The death of the earth is foreign to it. Motionless and clear, it sees the life of the earth from afar, without enveloping haze and streaming oceans. Its unchanging form has been solid from eternity. It is the solitary clear light of the night, the individual being, and the near fragment of eternity …

liverpool sketches 6, 1969, moon landing

  “… Your gaze rests on silvery seas, on snowy peaks, on blue valleys, and you do not hear the groaning and howling of the human animal.”

Isn’t it interesting that Jung wrote this, fifty years before we saw what our Earth looks like?

“The moon is dead. Your soul went to the moon, to the preserver of souls. Thus the soul moved toward death. I went into the inner death and saw that outer dying is better than inner death. And I decided to die outside and to live within. For that reason I turned away, and sought the place of the inner life.”

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Arcanum 8 - soul strength

Bridging the soul Triad on the Tree, is the path of the woman who gentles the Lion.   The soul-triad balances Hesed and Gevurah – Opportunity and Restraint – with Tifareth. I lift my eyes up into the hills, there is nothing to say.   And earth it with my body root – where am I sitting just now?   The firmness of my seat on the floor – the swift speaking fingers on the keyboard at intervals – the sun coming in – cars and trains passing – the bare but pregnant branches of early Aries – my crossed-over feet – the strange chirp of a bird?   No it is a car alarm being adjusted. It is more distant now.

Root and shoot, seed and flower – the quiet stem greets my sisters, mothers and daughters, they endure.

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Red Book –  Liber Secundus, Chapter 4: The Anchorite

jung mandala runes

In the irascible and blazing desert, he finds bare human foot-prints … the sole of the foot is the path of the soul. He follows them along a high dune.   The mandala he illustrates this chapter with, is the desert colour, hot brown and dull red, with the cloudless blue sky in its centre.   The rocks and dunes are runes, from which arose the human dream and all its history.   They are shifting runes.   The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.

desert swan & camel

The wind is sand along the air, and earth responds by ripple formation, like the sea.   The sand flows like water; the sand flows as the blood in human veins, and in the animal kingdom; it is our sap.   The sand is the Rock, eroded to infinitesimal particles and jewels. It is blown along the wind, forming kingdoms of time.

Having lived in times past, among the sands, and carried water from the well, the element is in my bones and I know and recognise it well.   There is no landscape or direction other than the wind which softly pressures my back, so I turn as softly, with it.   And out of the vast nowhere of the wadis and the plains and the bony ridges of encircling hills, appears a tiny human in a dark cloth, walking towards me.

Those are my memories:   now, Jung’s.

He followed more than one set of footsteps. They elided with each other, they crossed and recrossed the crest of the dune: he follows them downward in astonishment.

“The air glows and the rock burns my soles. Now I have reached the bottom; there are the tracks again. They lead along the winding of the valley, a short distance. Suddenly I stand before a small hut covered in reeds and made of mud bricks. A rickety wooden plank forms the door where a cross has been painted in red. I open it quietly. A haggard man covered in a white linen mantle is sitting on a mat with his back leaning against the wall. Across his knees lies a book in yellow parchment, with beautiful black handwriting – a Greek gospel, without doubt. I am with an anchorite of the Libyan desert.”

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Anchorite

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Pause there.   Meister Jung, that is how I sit with “my book” in the mornings, leaning my back against the wall – my seat.   Inside the hut, with you and the anchorite, it is very hot, and the silence fills the silence with its shout: the purity of the sands.   You and I meet the Hermit.

footprint 2

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Sitting by your unknown spring,
a lizard upon a rock bathes
in glowing heat of peppered sand.

In that ancient eyelid
the sun’s hour motionless flows.

My dry sponge may wait
hearing the source of the hidden element
in the drought of every pore.

The drier I am, the sweeter fills
the well of listening;

in my way without skin, seeing not yours,
I am touched by what you are directly,
through not knowing.

From a Poem of Eclipse, 1999

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The photos of the sea were taken by my daughter, along the north Cornish coastal path.

Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life. COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/

When Reflecting on The Lovers …

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Arcanum 6 lovers, version 1

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What shall I write?  I am a frameless window.   It is subtle.   I don’t like to build anything too literally.   If I do, the form goes hard and stale – the Sanctuary a metallic harp.  Suggestive, fluid, evocative, is the movement of the Inner Sense – the Divine detector.

I feel today what rises from earth and descends from heaven – the place of meeting, the triads.  Now  I feel I am inside the Lovers’ key, in the faint but sweet clean presence of Rafael, mercurial.   Every part of the wide green landscape is alive with tetrahedral volumes, points and distances.   It has a lovely music, somewhere.   Intone Orange, flood orange, the colour of pure Solar energy – D-Natural – as it translates to Hod:  Gemini:  Mercury …

and we move into Gemini today, as it happens!

Arcanum 6, Version 2

Arcanum 6, Version 2

BOTA Key 6

BOTA Key 6

Behind them are the pillars of the Tree of Life.  Behind Eve is the Tree of Fruit, snake entwined.   Behind Adam, is the Tree showing 12 flames.  The stem is dark – Kundalini.  But Eve’s stem is woody, Earth.  Through Adam, Kundalini rises – a burning bush.  Through Eve, she encircles and descends, as fruit falls.  The clouds are at the authentic level of our limited everyday vision, but behind them the Archangel spreading wings and arms, is vast, with purple robe and golden aura.   It is a wonderful thing for Eve and Adam to be in the landscape with the trees and Binah’s Mountain, and the Presence above, within and transcending it.  The Lovers are uplifted and in magic, with their intuitive vision.

The Hierophant – the Inner Hearing – preceded this Key.

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Arcanum 5 Hierophant

bota hierophant

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Adam perceives Kundalini as a burning power;  but through Eve, the Kundalini gives Life.  She is soft and restful.  She is crowned with rosy apples.   I feel the upliftedness and groundedness of this beautiful Key, and the discernment of its hebrew letter, ZAIN the Sword.   The point of the Sword is sharp in the sweet air, as it is in sexual desire.  The potential of the sexual mystery is to determine precisely what soul type is being conceived – its components, history and synchrony.   Parents who really know, invite a child to birth through them, not randomly:  their lovemaking builds a Temple and is detailed.  The type conforms to their invitation, as formed in the dawn of time, and will express along with its individual essence, their combination essentially.

Most souls are conceived blindly, as we proceed through destiny’s tunnel of life.

The same applies to creative thought.   So let us form a vessel, to catch the dew of Heaven.

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A diagram of Plato's cave.  Where we habitually live, we watch the shadows on the wall cast by the fire behind us.  Where the Light comes and finds us, is a little passage leading to the Day.  As an old prehistoric cave painter, I relate viscerally to this image!

I don’t know where I found this old diagram of Plato’s cave. Where we habitually live, we sit and watch the shadows on the wall cast by the Karmic fire behind us, as figures and lifetimes flicker along the roadway … from whence to where? We do not even truly notice each other very much.  Where the Light comes and finds us, is a little passage leading out and upward to the Day, to the Sun. As an old prehistoric cave painter, I relate viscerally to this symbolic image!

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With the inner Sightedness, my tunnel of life opens, Plato’s cave opens, I turn … the light comes in, I walk up along it, there is beauty without restraint, out into the open.   Just keep holding and growing this thread.  From it rises the prayer: thanksgiving.  The Light is that in which all understanding is held, everywhere.  When we rise into the Light, we are with all our Companions.  We illumine each other, and  our local dark tunnels.  Our tunnels are the network of nitrous roots and rhizomes through the ground, our tiny interlinking strands throughout the planet’s surface.   Gaia!

The body of Light is a Lens.

The Lovers’ Key is a living entity.  This entity is named “the Disposing and Reciprocal Intelligence”.  The Disposing Intelligence contains in a relationship the Third factor – the big landscape around Saturn’s salt mountain with Rafael above the clouds.  Eve and Adam are the spacious interaction, man to drink, woman to well.

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Adam & Eve after Lucas Cranach

Adam & Eve after Lucas Cranach

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Liszt’s Litanies de Marie contain a lovely tune of God.   Deeply creative artists and musicians are in their body of Light whenever they compose.

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Work of a Kabbalist - by Halevi. "This wall hanging shows the Kabbalist below on earth, with the mineral, vegetable and animal kingdoms, and the works of man. Above is the moon, sun and solar system/Tree of Life within the dome of the stars.  Over this hovers the Angelic world with Great Michael presiding... beyond this are the Archangels with Metatron the transfigured Enoch at the juncture point between the World of the Spirit and the Divine Realm represented by the Holy Name YHVH.

Work of a Kabbalist – by Halevi. “This wall hanging shows the Kabbalist below on earth, with the mineral, vegetable and animal kingdoms, and the works of man. Above is the moon, sun and solar system/Tree of Life within the dome of the stars. Over this hovers the Angelic world with Great Michael presiding… beyond this are the Archangels with Metatron the transfigured Enoch at the juncture point between the World of the Spirit and the Divine Realm represented by the Holy Name YHVH.” Copyright (c) Kabbalahsociety.org

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Here’s something also – a dream I had many years ago, I found it today:  “I am getting off the ground.  There are witnesses.  I lift my arms in Y-shape as in morning invocation, and it takes me up, and there is some clumsy droopy swimming practice and it is very wonderful …  A strong force of gravity is projected above, to flow into.  Flow into an energised vacuum.  The tips of my hands emanate a subtle extension beyond themselves:  the denser atoms follow through into that extension, and occupy it as refinement.  The whole body does this and leaves the ground.  Swim.  Osmosis.   It tingled afterwards, in hands and feet.   I found I was lying in bed with hands over stomach.

“A lot of teaching accompanied this simple technique, but sank into the sand.  I found it also when practicing the Cesar Franck.  Certain kinds of concentration change the body weight and composition.  This is the way of motion, or travel.  The Kabbalistic Invocation has a power and vibration in the Sefiroth and Names of God – a living Tree to receive the light…    It is not a theory.”

The Roses of St Elisabeth:  the Litanies de Marie.   They answer one another.

The Star of Consciousness is alert and peaceful – it is all that is needed.

triangle, HEH

I just realised, while re-reading this that my Fourth Dimension refers to the Cesar Franck sonata as if I am still practicing it, when these days I am not practicing any music at all, and rarely even listen to any.  In this dimension, my Cesar Franck yoga is “now”, not 26 years ago – it is all in the same moment, the whole apple;  there is no need to ‘keep on doing it’.   The lessons learned, remain alive.  The inner exercise remains alive.

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Fred and Jane tackle Cesar Franck violin sonata - 1987

Fred and Jane tackle Cesar Franck violin sonata – 1987

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What I TRULY AM has everything com-presently, a great living sphere.   This is how the higher Companions perceive me – without the long hedge-bound toil of my manifestation in time and space.   They see the points, the chapters of intensity.  They thread these together:  the vessel.   The Lens as a whole.  The Star.

“All the great teachings hand the same material from one to another, back and forth, heart centre to ajna centre and back, over the decades, to develop the Mysteries.   Patience.”

Thus I combine Advaita not-this, not-this, and Alchemy this … their alternation.   The miner’s lamp.

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GALLERY – (to view full size, click on any image): I did not yet complete my Hermetic Tarot deck, beyond the Major Arcana.  This is as far as I got with the Suit of Pentacles – Earth, back in 1993.  These four figures – a Tetragrammaton – combine Kabbalah with eastern Yoga/Advaita Vedanta. The Omkara is prana and the hand gestures with it are mudras: Y,H,V,H. And so it moves through the heart, plexus, sacral and throat Chakras.   As the hands open and release it like a bird, it speaks.

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It does not matter what the essence is – whether a town in Spain/its inhabitants, or a room of the Work in a London council flat.   The essence generates focus, which is what the Companions of the Light seek and detect and fan into brilliance with their sweet airs.   But the essence is found by travelling it – travail and listening.  Give a period each day, to hearing …  the sweetest paths of your almond tree.

almond flower

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There is a subtle shift beyond which there is no effort in contemplation.    That is when the body of Light is travelling.   Follow the sweetest path of your interior star, forsaking stress and narrative.   The Beloved.

There is a pictorial sequence without words, of a wounded Raven Knight being raised, and the Grail of four trees.   This is because some bird-like intuitions came in, of a watch-tower and its wide encircling landscape, courtyard, secret passage and small town nearby.

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Rosicrucean emblem 7:  a lily in a pot, in a field

Rosicrucean emblem 7: a lily planted in a pot, in a meadow

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alchemy - the story of the Eagle and the little Crow

alchemy – the story of the Eagle and the little Crow

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Inside the tower - the Eagle book in Daat

Inside the tower – the Eagle book in Daat

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Angel raising a captive Knight from a deep well

Angel raising a captive Knight from a deep well

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Freeing a Captive Knight

Freeing a Captive Knight

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Peacock

Peacock

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The Raven Knight

The Raven Knight

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The Grail, the Table Round, Dove and Companions of the Light

The Grail, the Table Round, Dove and Companions of the Light

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Insignia on Chariot, Arcanum 7

Insignia on Chariot, Arcanum 7

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Sun steed

Sun steed

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Grail trees sanctuary

Grail trees sanctuary

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4our trees - Yod, Heh, Vav, Heh

4our trees – Yod, Heh, Vav, Heh

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World kundalini shakti

World kundalini shakti

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Be well, my friend!  Go well.

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And one more thing.  I felt like closing today’s journey with a quote:  so I got out Aexander Roob’s book of Alchemy & Mysticism.  This is the page which fell open:

Ourobouros flower - from Alexander Roob's Alchemy & Mysticism

Ourobouros flower – from Alexander Roob’s Alchemy & Mysticism

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Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2013. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/

On Gaia as our Self

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horses by the sea, ja 07

horses by the sea, ja 07

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In 2006, Peter Chatalos published his work on Autopoiesis (copyright (c) John Wiley 2006)  – a holistic view of the planet body’s immune shield. Our human immune system and environment are not separate, but integrated with the biosphere’s self-defense.  When we chronically forget this, the planet appears to “turn against her Self”.

Peter and my conversation today, based on an earlier draft of his article Gaia Living with Aids, may shed some light on the “Ash tree die-back” crisis in this country, and on other environmental emergencies.  The Ash die-back and the withdrawal of many species and bio-diversities into latency, suggests Nature’s retreat from being our plaything.

What about our worldview?  Who are we?

Peter’s article mentions Autopoiesis.  While it is helpful to explore the theory of Autopoiesis, we need to look within ourselves to grow up and to apply the principle at grass roots level.  Mostly we dream in a narcissistic infancy.  The human race is emotionally, barely eight years old.

Conscious action speaks volumes more than belief – the kind of action which confronts and exposes our unconscious lagunas.   No holistic view is complete, unless we begin here where it hurts – at home:  the I, the “i”:  honesty.  Physician heal thyself!  One thing leads to another.

Snowy Lullaby, Gensaugh

Snowy Lullaby, Gensaugh

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What is Autopoiesis?

Peter told me that Earth’s holistic capacity for self-renewing, self-restoring, self-creation, is an example of Autopoiesis.  We as  human beings begin slowly, yet urgently, to realise our embeddedness within nature, and the consequences of our actions.  The increase in ourselves, of autoimmune disorders, echoes the same disorder in the planet eco-systems, due to our unconscious and blind exploitation.    We as humanity came to think of ourselves as “disconnected” – yet the health of each part is integral to the whole system.  Excess and disconnectedness damage our environmental health, and its capacity to self-renew.

A healthy and creative dynamic is defined as  Homeostasis.  Diversity or complexity. Stability or resilience.  Vigour or scope for growth.  The absence of disease.  Balance between system components.'” 

I quickly see the analogy with our computing tools.  The computer copies our working and associative mind, and by inference, our physical endocrine intelligence.   How can it be otherwise?   A healthy firewall works with unpredictable and flexible elegance.  Anti-viral updates are refreshed and re-created constantly.   This is because “easy passwords” and fixed patterns are simple for any mischievous malware to hack.  Viral parasites as created in mind and body, thrive on rigid habits and reactions, whose  cyberspace profiles are easy to identify and decode.

Conversely, a healthy matrix is a moving target – changeable, alert and fluid.  Our gift as human beings, is our adaptability.

We are not alone. The same principle works across the board, through nature’s mineral, animal and vegetable kingdoms, through our psyche, and the body’s immune system.  As any shepherd knows, sheep are susceptible to maggots and footrot.  He keeps his flock attended to, and on the move.  As farmers know, crop rotation revitalizes the land.

Moss with the sheep. Glensaugh

Moss with the sheep. Glensaugh

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Imbalance and Dis-ease

Peter agreed that Autopoiesis is a mind-like process.  Lovelock’s GAIA theory shows that Earth’s ecosystems adapt and respond mutually over time:  each part is inter-dependent within the whole.  An organism’s immune system does not merely act in terms of its “antibodies”, as the reductionist view would have it.

For instance, Earth’s ozone external shield does not bar the sun’s radiation. It filters it, so that what we receive is regulated to our biotic needs.   Due to imbalanced human consumption and activity, the ozone hole appeared.   This led to an increase in skin cancers through the interface of environment and human health.

As I see it, some cancers may occur due to an imbalance of our physical and etheric sheaths – a mismatch of frequencies, such as the sun’s intensity without an adequate atmospheric filter.  Our physical organism around the core, is dense, like the bark of a tree, or Earth’s crust.  We have also the more diffuse emotional, magnetic and mental bodies which constitute our aura, or psychic field.  The whole is like an egg.   The input through our auric shields, triggers a compensatory cellular activity in the physical location.  This goes on all the time, but when it becomes excessive, the activity may turn “rogue”, and begin to cannibalize the host – as it is not self-sustaining.

I just found some notes taken during a psychology class in 2003, on the etheric/physical body interface:  “The etheric body is the astral mould or template to which materiality adheres.  It is only visible under certain conditions.  The etheric body prevails through an entire incarnation.  The physical body does not – it is a standing wave, constantly being replaced.  Cancer is a disease of the etheric body.  A leak in the etheric or subtle body causes inappropriate types of cell to keep on being manufactured, in compensatory excess.”

Disease is a symptom of excess and of the unconscious, and is underlined by genetic trend.  Many cancers are brooded by unresolved hurts and issues in life.  Additionally, cancer seems to increase due to conditioning and propaganda.  The fear matrix which  built up around it in our society, and the warlike remedy, keep the drug companies healthy, wealthy and …?    So cancer is in resonance also with the economy, and our problems there.

A “preventive” medicine – attitude – may attend to our physical tempo, respect the way she changes from day to day, and allow her to feel ill – (as I do, right now.  Go slow.  I have a cold, and my lower back went ‘crick’, and feels like a broken fence.  I shall have to lie down all day to write this.  This is uncomfortable and inconvenient, but not my enemy !)

Unfortunately, the stress and insecurity which is now the social norm, in employment, consumption and communications, prohibits rest, prohibits sensitivity, and forces us to work like monkeys overtime.  We suffer within an unregulated economy.   But it is never too late to listen and to remember to breathe and stretch our toes … if for a few minutes at a time.   It is never too late to sense the map of our nadis or meridians, how it hums through us.   The meridians are psyche-physiological paths – they are antennae also to the collective subconscious.   The body is a field.  Awareness is the fluid key.   Open ourselves beyond the box.  This is autopoiesis?

gravatar rose egg

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A Teacher once said surprisingly, “Does this make the Sun, giver of life, our enemy? …   The thing your scientists have spoken of as skin cancer, caused by over exposure to the sun’s rays, is a separatist fallacy.  All dimensions are interpenetrating.  All universes are moving closer. So what they mistakenly feel is some grand error on someone’s part, the so-called hole in the ozone layer, is a fallacy. 

“There is indeed more proximity vibrationally.  But it merely means, that when you stand next to One clothed in immaculate white from head to toe, should there be any blemish upon your own clothing, it is likely to show.   Behold if you will, without fear, the Sun.   Go to the inmost point of your pineal centre, and see there the sun, and allow your fears to melt as snow and merge with that great inner, glowing, endless being.”

This Teacher implied Earth’s self awareness, the core magma which is itself the Sun.

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Carboniferous - 1988

Carboniferous – 1989

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Peter said, “Sometimes, humanity can be so narcissistic!”

Our inability to appreciate nature for its own complexity and beauty, signals a deeply seated narcissism whereby we see the natural world only as resources.  At best, other species are considered irrelevant.‘ (Du Nann, Winter & Koger, 2004).

There are increasing signs of global eco-system sickness, as in climate change and loss of bio-diversity.   With a stepped up global trade in commodities and even populations, come many new diseases and infections, due to transport and transplantation.    One might speak of human imprudence;  the human self-interest in consumption, industrialisation and warfare, devastates the wildlife and the environment’s own self-restorative capacity.

‘We are like the cells in the body of the vast living organism that is planet Earth.  An organism cannot continue to function healthily, if one group of cells decides to dominate and cannibalize the other energy systems of the body.’ 

“Yet, eco-systems have autopoietic properties, and humans are part of these eco-systems.  So why do ‘symptoms of sickness’ exist? Why isn’t humanity participating in the autopoietic, health promoting processes of the planet?”

Oats

Oats

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The Autoimmune Matrix …

While we, willfully unconscious of our part within the planetary field, continue to ravage it, we behave like an autoimmune disease.  The Earth is an extension of humanity’s body.  Humanity is an element of the planet’s autopoietic capacity.

D.W.Kidner explains: ‘If the normality of our day to day lives depends on exploiting and degrading the natural order, then psychological health will embody an intrinsic ecological pathology;  and human life is defined as a form of parasitism.’  

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Boat, sea, 2007

Boat, sea, 2007

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… and Peter uses the term ‘Ecological Autism’

Autism in this context, is a dissociation – the psyche’s lack of integration with the planetary eco-Mind.  Considering itself apart and separate from Nature’s autopoietic process, creates an artificial barrier:  a limited, unrealised notion of the self:  an inability to connect.

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We have to deal also with the enormous inertia-momentum of our history – the ravagings of war, torture and robber-barons;  the reverberating Karmic fallout through the centuries.   Putting the brakes on, for a while the juggernaut skids even faster against them.

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Enoch

Enoch

Peter describes how:

A self realised individual’s sense of identity expands to include the biosphere and all its inhabitants.  The connection to nature spontaneously deepens when a person’s self interest shifts from being egocentric, to biocentric.  The Ecological Self integrates with Nature’s psyche.

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Cosmos: flowing water, stones

Cosmos: flowing water, stones

 Gregory Bateson in Steps to an Ecology of Mind understands ‘minds’ as processes – rather than things – at many levels of being.  They are not limited to association with brains or consciousness.  ‘Mind’ includes all examples of systemic process, wherever an interaction between the parts triggered by difference, requires energy and circular chains of determination.  This canvas includes the life cycles of bacteria, individual cells and organs;  it includes social groups, societies and eco-systems.   Any given mind is a cellular function in a larger, more far reaching Mind.

‘In this way, all the phenomena in the world possess subjective inner natures.  These inner natures of the world’s organic and inorganic phenomena make up the world subconscious.’ (Stephen Aizenstat).

Couple

Couple

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I see a question here of Use and Ab-use.  Also – in some forms of the Work – the esoteric perception of “Elementals”:  invisible organisms of nightmare or of expanded perception.   Castaneda called them, in a certain category, “the Allies.”  They are inorganic beings, largely of a low-vibration consciousness.  But they can and do form associations with organic beings:  a parallel universe.

Boats as Lovers

Boats as Lovers

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The Earth can speak through us and awaken our human sanity.  Repressing the “conscious Earth” within us, damages our environment and leads to madness.

Human experience exists in a field of psychic transformations:  an ontological connectedness, the whole moving always in relationship to its parts.

Skyscape

Skyscape

Where minds interact, they mutually create.  Only the “autistic” perceive themselves as separate from others and from the more-than-human world.  Ignoring Nature’s signs and flow of information, is ecological autism.

In a child’s first three to four years he or she experiences a symbolic unity with the mother. If this is impaired genetically, or by conditioning, it can lead to developmental difficulties.  If we are engrossed in our own sensations with no sense of what they can relate to, we do not have that concept of relatedness, and are therefore autistic.

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Daffodil - 1986, earthquake-kreutzer-ravine series

Daffodil – 1986, earthquake-kreutzer-ravine series.  Harold Rubens, Fred and Aaron Barschak, Alexander Pollock, C.Gardner …  Damehole Point, near Stoke, north Devon coast

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A realised individual awakens to a shared Earth-body  Our relationship is that of a leaf to a tree.  We are participants in this planetary system.   As the focal seat of Self shifts, the notions of inside and outside merge.  The world becomes a lover:  the pain and despair of environmental degradation also, is acute.   Systemic autism alienates from Nature and can engender compulsive behaviours, such as an addiction to technology.

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These drawings (below) are by the late Douglas Harding, in his colossal thesis The Hierarchy of Heaven and Earth.  He goes on to explore the “extended” Earth-body of humankind.  Looking from above, he observes our process with and as our global environment, as “The Creeper” – a living organism whose tentacular hands, tastebuds and interior organs are ocean, field, flower, desert, climate, termite, mountain and orchard, all interdependent, all connected to our alimentary system.

douglas creeper 2

douglas creeper 1

To claim our planet-Conscious birthright, Douglas demonstrated:  point to where I believe I have a head, a separate shape:  and look carefully, what do I actually see? – “on present evidence only.  Keep on pointing to here, keep looking.  Do I see a head here – a confined space, dark, small, sticky?  Am I looking out of a meatball with two holes in it?”   Or am I – where my shoulders fade out – an open, edgeless space for the World to fill?  a window with no frame?   Is not my Eye single, my body filled with light?  …  Keep on Seeing:  keep practicing.

look for your self!

look for your self!

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Peter continues:

Since the Earth is an extension of our body, we focus on connecting to ‘active’ nature, with the deep ecological emphasis of ‘Other’ as our ‘Self’.  Exploitation would less likely occur, because others are perceived as self, with equal value and worth.  However, people sometimes harm themselves.

 

Annika and Aslan

Annika and Aslan

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We Need to Connect Ethically …

‘We can be ethical only in relation to something we can see, feel, understand, love, or otherwise have faith in.’  (A. Leopold)

“Language is as much a part of our functioning as our sense of touch, and as precious.  Metaphors are how the whole fabric of mental interconnections holds together.  Metaphor is right at the core of being alive;  the language of nature.  Metaphors engage the head, heart and hand.”

“The idea of a mechanical world can hardly engender empathy.  On the other hand, perceiving planet Earth as our body allows our response-ability to extend personal immunity to disease, and to develop ecological empathy.”

“‘When people consciously understand that they are part of, and intricately connected to, the natural world, they will be able to expand their boundaries of empathy to include all.’ (C.Feral)”

15 bull bird

Earth, Air:  Bull and Bird, South Africa, 1993

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What can be more powerful than an idea?  Like gravity, its local force appears minimal and weak;  its summation holds the Universe together and is our connectivity.  Contemplation through picture language, when focused, generates thought forms.  It is in our power to act physically, behaviourally, and with our everyday intelligence, to influence the astral and mental planes, even as within the atom:   in quantum theory, electrons of specific number-type move up into orbit, to occupy specific frequency-levels of “Jacobs Ladder”.

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Peter speaks of Gaia’s Acquired Immune Deficiency

The disconnection acts like ‘the virus’ in an autoimmune disease, turning defender into adversary.  The planet is immunosuppressed;  humanity’s lack of ecological embeddedness and cultural autism is a factor.   So Gaia lives with an acquired immune deficiency syndrome, and as we are part of Gaia, we are living with this chronic condition too.

The fully realised psyche does not need to separate human illnesses from environmental degradation.  Increased pollution, species extinction and asthma in humans are symptoms of an ailing biosphere:  a chronic condition.  The system is under pressure.  It can continue to function for a while, until it rapidly collapses – an unbalanced economy.   A system diseased by parasitic human behaviour is not sustainable.

To fully participate, from a biocentric position, humanity needs to serve or be instrumental to the system as a whole … beyond the disconnected self-interest.

So where is human Consciousness?  On television?  Or here, closer than my breath?

Glensaugh

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Early forms of life emerging from the waters, contain in their code, our human-ness today.  The Conscious whole is far beyond our horizon.  In our evolutionary DNA-serpent, is codified the entire spectrum of what our human-ness is to be, as Consciousness – a future encircling shape – the unknown quantum, here and now.

“This is a wake-up call.   Those who are open to an environmental reciprocity have a positive vision of the future.  It is yet necessary to be aware of the despair of environmental degradation. 

The planet’s eco-systems work together to protect life.  Humans with this insight can consciously alter their actions and habits.  There is no time like NOW to heal, protect and fully participate in the planet’s autopoietic processes.

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Loch Saugh, Kincardine

Loch Saugh, Kincardine

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Conclusion

For healing to be possible, the extended empathy must break through humanity’s ecological autism and reconnect with nature’s Mind.

“Seeing the Earth as a living being, helps us to identify with her wellbeing.”

Peter Chatalos and Jane Adams, 2013

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Sheep on Finella, Glensaugh

Sheep on Finella, Glensaugh

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This body, Arjuna, is called the Field.
He who knows this, is called the Knower of the Field.

Know that I AM the Knower in all the fields of my creation;
and that the wisdom which sees the field and the Knower of the Field, is true wisdom.

… …

His hands and feet are everywhere,
he has heads and mouths everywhere; he sees all, he hears all.
He is in all, and he is.

The Light of consciousness comes to him through infinite powers of perception,
and yet he is above all these powers.
He is beyond all, and yet he supports all.
He is beyond the world of matter, and yet he has joy in the world.

He is invisible, he cannot be seen.
He is far and he is near.
He moves and he moves not, he is within all and he is outside all.

He is ONE in all, but it seems as if he were many.
He supports all things;  from him comes destruction
and from him comes creation.

He is the Light of all lights, which shines beyond all darkness.
It is vision, the end of vision, to be reached by vision,
dwelling in the heart of all.

I have told you briefly, what is the Field,
what is wisdom, and what is the End of human vision.
When men and women know this, they step into my Being.

from Bhagavad Gita chapter 13 Juan Mascaro translation

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Further Reading:

“Vital Signs: Psychological Responses to Ecological Crises” by Mary-Jane Rust and Nick Totten 2012 published by Karnac

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Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life. COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2013. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/

Ursa Major Solstice

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red horse & rainbow 2008

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At my cher ami’s house, I enjoy reading the paper, and in the Daily Mail was an article by Ken the Corrie star, who happens to be a Druid – about 12.12.12 last week, and how everything is going to start getting a little better from now on.   That in itself is a polar flip-flop!  Ramesh and his students used to discuss the Flip-Flop of the Understanding – the backfiring and re-start:  the inversion.

cosmic consciousness

cosmic consciousness

All alchemical experience suffers some psychological inversion – the crossing over of left and right brain to see and interpret;  the ventricles of the heart;  the rocking of the boat.  Hold too tight to one side, at your peril.   The psyche must be sweet and supple to duck the swinging boom.   Illumination – then dark night of the soul.   Then Light again.   Day and night …

A polar bear
jumps in the air and
lands the other way round.

Ursa Major - "I'm sitting on top of the Word" - clapton/cream

Ursa Major – “I’m sitting on top of the Word” – clapton/cream

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I went in my cher ami’s garden yesterday.     It is all bubbled over with wet brown leaves and little things growing.  The Buddha whose photo among the flowers and ivy has glorified my Sacred India Tarot posts, sits forlorn and grey next to the white dead litter of the nasturtiums – all fallen by frost, from the bamboo which is left quite bare.  We salvaged the garden a couple years ago, from jungle and a decade of rubbish tip.  We cleared all that away, by hand and reached the ground.  It is a green oasis in the woods near Henly’s Corner, and a redbreast robin dances.

red horse dream 1986

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My magnetic treasure for Today is a compass. It continues to educate me and show me my direction.  No direction is sure without the necessary pain of life to prove it and keep it shining in every sinew, bone and feeling.   That little miracle shining in its fluid, points always to the north and soothes my feathers to be a seal.  Value what “Mr V” left me, and what I work with, to this day.  The current which passes between souls is far more significant than the charade of their transgressions.

The Compass in its circular frame is a little steering wheel, left and right, subconscious and self conscious, with the centre remaining steady:  the Tree.   Navigation by the stars.

So descend with it through my House, the memory of the stars;  the vast Night within the passing day-cloth:  the starling’s breast.

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Second birth - breaking through the caul of life into the Laws of Creation: an old Kabbalist engraving

Second birth – breaking through the caul of life into the Laws of Creation: an old Kabbalist engraving

A Kabbalist meditation last Monday – I go out into the night.   There is a village nearby.  Some houses are built on rock and others on sand.  There is a body of water not far off, for the place is a shallow valley, with stands of trees.   It is night, so I don’t see much, except the lamp light, and the mystery of the unlit fields as I cross them to the higher place.  The higher place is a scarp overlooking the scene, and its old pathways.  Look up:  the sky of stars again.   Look toward my distant house:  one light in it, a star.   I know that star, even among other stars scattered around it.   I know my lode star, my Compass in the night.  Merry Yuletide!

Arunachala Self enquiry

Arunachala Self enquiry

I wake this morning with deep peace, the stretch of the sea.  It is said that we glide along the tipping point of an alignment of immense galactic vortices as a wheel of time completes, and a new-born spiral curve arises like a swan.  I had guests last night.  They said we are receiving more magnetic influences from galactic centre (dark, because unknown)  than from our native Sun, at the moment.  This is due to the alignment resonance, which just begins to educate us.  In Kabbalah it suggests we are getting more from Daat, than from Tifareth on the Tree.   It is powerful stuff.

That is why humanity finds itself so hard to deal with.  In this space of time, we learn to align, but during this process there is alienation, dis-ease, social and family breakdown,  and the obsession with astral demons and with petty regulations.   The immune shield of earth and human is confused and compromised. There is ecological fracture and climate change.  There are gun psychoses, and civil wars.

The vast turgid current IS the Light – even a black hole is nothing but the light, the birth of a star from an old collapse –  but its impact on our imagination is at first turbulent and dark.  The shadows are our projection in front of Daat.   It is said that the Maggidim, the Companions of the Light, are closer nowadays to our physical plane than they have ever been – it is all in the way they nudge and touch us inwardly.  The Companions of the Light never tell us what to do;  they reveal principles, the way things work, so we decide for ourselves.  As we calm down about it,  life flows on, as the tension drops away.   Most things we fear are manufactured by muscular tension.

The disturbances of humanity and climate during these decades are inevitable;  they are pains of growth at tipping point.   It takes dedication to keep remembering Tifareth – the native Heart consciousness right here – as well as Daat, the unknown cognition, the Union of all things.

With Dubi on a cornish beach - ja 2008

The other night, I saw in a brief vision as I crested a hill, a landscape with a boil of smoky black clouds, with the light churning through them, as the morning broke.  It grew lighter, rising up, an immense dynamism.  In everything, through Him, with Him, in Him  is the light;  and “He” is Gaia, She, and all our children.   I was walking in Taunton (my teenage years) towards school, Bishop Fox’s, with my cher ami’s white dog Dubi;   like The Fool, Key Zero – the Alchemist of the Tarot.

This post is written in a hurry, as there are things to do today, besides sit and listen.   I shall probably add to it.

dervish

dervish

xmas card text - Version 2

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Wishing you merry Christmas, a warm Yule log, and many beautiful dawns in 2013 and in all the years to come.   With Love … and Gayatri Mantra.   A fellow Capricorn just came to the door;  and he is singing it!

om bhur bhuvaha swaha
tat savitur varenyam
bhargho devasya dhimahi
dhiho yonaha prachodayat

“Let us meditate on the divine light that represents God, and may our thoughts be inspired by that divine light.”

Maha Maya time

Paul sat there singing it, while I swirled my skirts and danced.  He is wearing this …

with this on the other side:

Maya time reverse

… and in my kitchen there is this:

sphere compass crystal lamp

sphere compass crystal lamp

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and this is my Xmas card of little drops of Time like rain …

PaulDrops of Time on water

… from Paul.

For elevenses, we went in my room, lit a candle, opened the Tree of Life, celebrated our beloved dead ones, who are very much alive;  chuckled, and sat still.   The world obligingly ended.  The room filled with a feeling presence so white and quiet, the mind couldn’t move.  She stood still and received …

O happy Day.

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11. rose

Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

Link to my primary blog, because of similar theme at present:

janeadamsart

janeadamsart

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/ 

Heart Drop, the Lineage Tree and Time

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This post begins with two oracles or “moments” in early December, for the Solstice.  The three cards are “present”/centre, “past”/left and “future”/right.

 It is also “sewn together” with my recent posts Sacred India Tarot Buddha 8,9.10 of Pentacles, Today is a Special Day and Bardo – a Buddha Atom Awakes on my primary blog. Here are the writings and reflections from my journal, behind them.

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Tarot oracle 3 December 2012

Tarot oracle 3 December 2012

12.21.6 is the pure hexagonal movement of the Seal of Solomon, my universal heart key.  The 6 is half of 12, i.e. the date.  Add the three numbers, they are 12

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Seal of Solomon Cubed

Seal of Solomon Cubed

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Secret Dakini Oracle, 7 December 2012

Secret Dakini Oracle, 7 December 2012

The Heart Drop and the Lineage Tree fulfil the beauty.  The Heart Drop is a landscape of silver rippled sand, a buddhist stupa and a ruby.  It is in the tantra vajrayana tradition. The mind stops and enters yabyum.  The Rainbow Buddha is in the Tree of Life.  And Time’s wheel strikes the moment.

Oracle of solstice.  Ora, oasis of solstice.  This is profoundly real, striking the ora, hour, the moment through the clock’s face in the Real Aquarius.

Alignment flows the ease of being.   The force is imperceptibly vast, like gravity.  It seems likely that  forces arraigned against it, suffer an increased violence and implosion.  The core through evolutionary crossroads, is uncompromising.  The root of the uncompromised, is … to Align.  Turn.  Submission. The Merciful.  There are stars at night in the sands.  The resistance is the old tribal vendettas and their murderous sentiment, brother against brother, civil war, humanquake.

What about the true Islam, invisible behind the televised tension?   I … am.

View the present crisis historically, as a fence, a hurdle of an old world with the new.   Solar atoms pass through it, like the current through the Buddha’s enlightenment.

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13 December – in Nether Stowey, Somerset

My mother drew my attention to 12.12.12 yesterday, being absolutely unique and unrepeatable, as there is no 13th month.   So I did a piece on my blog about this – with some difficulty as the signal/internet dongle here comes and goes.   Discovered it is strong in the morning, and gradually deteriorates.

With my cher ami, I have decided to stop trying to get things right, and certainly not to worry when I don’t.  That just gives power to him and makes a loop, which he doesn’t want either.   Nobody can be exactly right with another person.  It’s just a fantasy, and a deconstructive one.   This is a good realization.  I always tried too hard and got entangled.   Human beings are not “right”.  We are just the way we are.

It is very cold in Nether Stowey, and I am having a good time with my parents, both nearly 90.   Ah well now, a morning moment … the quiet.  Lord thou art God – the Rose:  the infinite moment inside the beautiful 12.12.12:  my Tarot oracle 12.21.6  –   Hanging Man inverts the World-way, and becomes the mutual understanding of the Lovers.

I am looking through the window, a skylight in a roof.   I will not give power any more to other peoples’ opinions and closed houses.   I accept them as they are, alongside the way I am.

I played some Bach on the piano, and I begin to remember Vera Moore a little.  What she gave to notes and music lessons, was love, of a specially irresistible kind.  I felt her loving presence, transcending every mess of humanity, in the muse;  her voice, her laughter, her authority, her magnetic sparkle.

This moment is her receptacle.   A sort of painting of her is inside me.   I don’t know if it will happen.  The moment of settlement is complete in itself, and all-extending.

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Quantock Oak

Quantock Oak

14/15 December – The Ravening Curiosity

The devas are joyful, come what may.

When I was in the Quantocks above Nether Stowey, I moved at a fast lope down Bincombe because it was very cold.   Through the soft brown autumnal drift of crisp leaves, my hips, knees and ankles danced loosely.   All the small oaken witches danced.  I became suddenly the silence.   The silence of the wood sings in the blood and the bones.  It is utterly quiet in the valley, as the descending waters begin to flow in their leafy bed.  Further down, they arise through the ground, they sing and sound.   Water is a miracle, the movement of the Stone, water of life.

the waters

I’m reading a book Into the Land of the Snows.  It is by Ellis Nelson.  It describes in one mountain scene, the exposure of a dead human to vultures – a Sky burial.  The organs are taken out, the bones crushed and mixed with meal to make the feast clean, complete and appetizing.  Life is renewed in death – another human gift.   After reading this, I felt the iron piercing cold of the Himalaya, and the strange bastrikas which generate heat and keep the monks warm up there;  and there came over me that purity – far from the ravening curiosity of the mind.   In the stillness I see the shallow, ravening curiosity of the mind, for what it is;  the trouble we all share and subscribe to.   I am stepped just aside a little.  I become the enigma of rocks, of valleys. Round yellow disks of the Sun – chakras – are placed on sensitive parts of the earth – my body.

Ramana’s presence bestowed peace – the felling of the curiosity.  Buddha’s presence bestowed that same vital, ringing peace.  Both carried their great quest through death’s door.   It is night.  I am back in London now.   I am in bed and I hear the sounds of feet in the street and a distant fox yelping, as pulses without time.   Solstice draws near – a solstice which tenders an infinite silent Life, the polar axis, a simplicity of being.   There is an alteration in our composition.

The opportunity – in the atomic core of sinew, blood and bone – steps aside from the ravening curiosity which suddenly, subtly, is viewed objectively.   The everyday mind is a ravening curiosity – my human curse and cross.  As soon as it is seen, it is no longer so.  Or it remains, out of habit, but compassion permeates it.   Let it be.  It seems to slough, like an old snake skin.

Dancer

Dancer

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The Buddha in Sacred India Tarot  Disks 8, 9, 10:  the teaching and the maha Samadhi and the Bardo – see my other blog.   It is all linked, like the trees in the wood.

Buddha and Ramana, and all great sages, gathered crowds of devotees to their death.  Maybe Jesus had witnesses other than the gospel scribes, who watched him pass in deep peace, and came away with that;  but no one read or canonised them.  This is quite a thought;  that the death of Jesus was not an agony. 

The deaths of Ramana, Buddha, Jesus, demonstrated an exquisite eliding of the planes of life and liberation.  Their deaths were seamless with life.   We attend a death as we attend a birth;  the sliding water in the woods, the kites that soar in the sky, the atomic interchange of consciousness.

Some of my stories of the Watershed contain kernels of the unending Life.  In one of them, the living white sunflowers ate the dead ones.  (The story is at the end of that post.) A blue radiance came in through the window, and played around the noumenon.   Seeing something like that just once or twice, changed my body’s depth-expectation for ever.

Lovers

Lovers

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Insight last week:  in the capsule and story of me, I don’t perceive the truth of a person or of life.  Same-ways, in the collective human capsule, how can our magnification of ourselves and guilt  perceive truth?  The truth is simpler than the pain we believe and measure.

Wisdom residing within our soul’s atoms unconsciously, and in just a few places awake, perceives the cosmos.  The cosmos is what we are, as we wake from the dream.   It is bound to be rather a surprise.

Solomon's Seal and Flower of Life

Solomon’s Seal and Flower of Life

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15 December

My mother’s piano is tres sympathique.  It was easy to imagine Vera Moore sitting with me, and what she would say about this note or that note, wrapping my fingers round it like a baby in a shawl.   I remembered her way with poetic images, and her LOVE.  That is the magic – her love.  It makes me want to go on playing, and keeps me focused.  I remembered her instruction to play what I am learning, like a chorale, without any inhibitions – sing it inside, with the touch.  I shall put that postscript onto the MusicLessons with VM.

The young Vera

The young Vera

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This is the time of the slide through solstice tipping point, which means different circlings to different soul types.  I hear its simple silence through my antakharana valley.   I am sleeping badly.  I think this is due to an intensity in Yetzirah generally.   The stillness stretches time – re-mind it under the “ravening curiosity”.  It is always slipping through the valley.   It never ends.

Today I have to do a Buddha SITA post.  I shall parallel it – link it with last night’s piece, here.

I got a little download this morning, but didn’t manage to write it all down.  The voice said “You know I would wish you to.  When you have piano lesson, take your jacket off literally, and listen.”

There was something important before and after this, which slipped away.

The flavour of the woods, the winter ground, the wet leaves and thawing frost is the Buddha nature flowing through, and in my black “snowdrop” diary of 1988, is the bit about the passing lorry-cosmos – my actual “enlight-in” … drop some of that into the new SITA post.

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My parents, the old people, still young at heart …  this is sad.  Their door closes.  They are conditioned to see ONLY the mess which humans have made of things, and the inevitable demise of the race.   I feel this is but a point of view, as I am consistently made aware of other wavelengths, other views.  The endgame AND …  the endgame contains something quite other which prevails, through that dream.    “All is happening as it should.”

To be a Kabbalist is rare.   My father is rather closed and opinionated in his way – at nearly 90.   Pessimism.  My mother has pessimism, some of it rubbed off from him;  but she has a child inside who still wakes.   His connections are intellectual.  He worked on himself magnificently, all his life: Jiddu Krishnamurti was his teacher.  Hers are organic, and spark me off.   Anyway, I am so glad I spent this time with them.   So are they.  And we remember the older generation behind them, as we pour the whisky and wine.

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Swan to be born, and Camel

Swan to be born, and Camel

We watched a film called “Weeping Camel” about the Gobi Desert nomads, and their tenderness with child and beast.  They used the wind’s note through a stringed instrument to awaken a shaggy young camel’s maternal instinct to her abandoned calf who cried.  They caressed the mother, while drawing the bow across the strings, like a mantra, to the exact vibration of the wind. It was a lullaby.  In those wild parts of Mongolia, they use their vocal chords in this way too.  She allowed at last, her homeless  calf to suckle, and the bond was born.  The camera team gave a TV and a disfiguring satellite dish to the family’s small son, who had seen one in the town, and begged for it.   Progress is paradox.

Cosmos – the God-cosm – is rough and hard when we struggle against it, and gentle when we move with it.

During those long, slow breaths with the camels that evening, my childhood Himalayan hero died of a ripe old age in France.  I found this out, two days later.  I am growing up.

See again, the Sun’s silent veil of vibrant life;  the pattern of the cloth upon the deep.

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School photo, 1955

Swing & School photo, 1955

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Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/ 

Deep Rose Tantra

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Imagine a red rose on a timber cross on the ground in the woods.  The interior wood is gold, the sap channels.

Indeed, so are we the sap channels of the Heart of the universe;  antakharana;  chords.  Or harp strings for the wind to sing, like it does through tall trees.

The deep red rose slowly comes more clear, with repetition and practice.  Cradle it in hand, smell the petals, feel them touch my nose.  So a rose is a nose: the touch of scent, the strange essence that is released from the truly feminine.

In terms of simple vanity, this is a token I intend to cultivate.  My grandmother had it.  It “bends the antennae towards it” wondering what this far off tantalizing thing is … a mere trace from a pot of rouge.  Every woman who aspires to Priestess knows to cultivate her female mystery, an aloof invitation, a listening oracle, a dignity and softness.   (Dion Fortune/Moon Magic)

So start.  Here’s the ladder.  First rung.  Age and experience helps – the knocked off corners of egoity, the rounded egg.

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Contemplating the rose cross is not just looking at it.  It is discovering all the ways to BE IT, including the subtle fulfilment of my sexuality, whether partnered or not … the essence, the consciousness.  It opens the rose in the garden of  my house of life.   When as an older woman the sexuality becomes distilled, she requires rather less of the bump and grind.  My drawing of Zofira has this.   The Mona Lisa and Botticelli’s Aphrodite have it.  Recollect the pre-orgasmic bliss which is before the feeling awakes:  ah, so.

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Zofira

A woman’s private rose faces downward, faces the ground.  Now life and a walk in the fields, the earth and the woods, or by the sea, could ‘contour’ these flavours.

It isn’t easy … to cultivate my fragrant Priestess while labouring on with my caveperson artistic and communicative projects – they take priority and use up all my intentions.   But have a go.

Vedic Saturn/Sani

The rose is love.  When my downward facing rose is open and aware in this subtle way, this is love, the life of love. And in it play the shapes I have drawn so much, the ovals, the ripples, the crisscross waves around Saturn Sani, and… the figure of eight pelvic-floor muscle.  And a sense of immersion in the seamless Reality of these things.  It is objective, intimate, and quite other than the separatist way we humans interpret ourselves.

It is yet another expression of the hourglass, the Cross.

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Female bliss does not necessarily seek strong sensations.  She precedes them.  It is where the opening begins.  It is the Priestess before and after the Empress.

It is the star spangled gown of Isis.  It is in the moon and the tides.  Tuning into the secret scent, ensures that it occurs elsewhere too.  We merely link.

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Tifareth Rose star

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When the womanhood is awake, the subconscious memory-banks are in order, and supply whatever data the situation needs.  Failures of memory are perhaps when we lose touch with our root gender – male, female, or homoerotic combining both –  and are messed up in the thickets of mind’s hardening arteries.

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When the womanhood is awake, she is straight and plain.  My centre of gravity is vibrant:  ballast.  When a person fits in his or her body, it shows.  Each self occupied form of Nature has beauty and rest.

To be a human being – embodied – is to have to work on the form;  to be our own sculptor.  Art begins where nature ceases to act.  The sculptor has a glory in the life of the rock.  Human-ness inherits the Karmic millennia of struggle and confusion and error;  we are given a little life each time to penetrate the fog, clean away the murk and re-view our selves.  The human condition is stress.  The human condition is the work in the material plane to evolve, provided with all its opponents, terrorists and obstacles.   Terrestrial life – our life in and as Earth – is a School of the Soul.

And now be still, the Rose.   Nothing but the breath.  Let the mind relax, the third eye gather, the Rose develop more strength in detail, the circling petals, the glow of pink and red, the bindhu dew at centre, the golden cardinal rays, the cube of space unenclosed.

This focus is what I wish to use, co-opting with Yggdrasil and the workers of the Light.  The strength immediately happens when I go to third eye.  It is by third eye to third eye that we link, through the Will to Good.

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I also use the Magician at the Yesod violet-crystal portal, the Foundation of the Tree.  The Magician Key 1 halts the progress with “Who am I?”   No intruder can ask this and mean it.  Anyway, I sense a tetrahedral cathedra. 

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Solomon’s Cube

The business is to let a hidden treasure be Known, and to refrain from interpreting.  History is rewritten each moment, each breath:  the capacity to participate in the rewriting is a homeopathically tiny quantum in most of us;  the way the mind still is;  the practice of the present.

This is why to interpret events fascinates, it pulls and stimulates the intellectual power, but it seems to go a bit astray.  It forgets the real Cube, the heart’s treasure within the movie of the mind.

The Cube’s essence is Self-enquiry:  to dissolve a tendency back into the root awareness.  In the awareness, in-formation grows like the rose. So awareness is the Cross, the Cube outspread.  The Greater Mystery is the Rose.  The Rose is our desire nature:  the Cosmos is desire, gravity, the harmony, the All moving together, the intent, on a galactic and atomic scale.

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Labyrinth

Human beings are as clever as monkeys, we pick up truth, and then lose it in our mares’ nest activity.  We humans lose truth as soon as we interpret or “organise” it.

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The truth combines Sri Chakra bindhu point, with the Rose.

“I am a hidden treasure, and I desire to be known.”

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Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeaquariel.wordpress.com/