Touch Wood and Water


Gayatri Devi

Gayatri Devi

Let us form a vessel …?  In the Gayatri Mantra, the brilliance of enlightenment is perceived in the air between the trouble and grief and terrors and tension and pollution in the world. Give room: the pain of life as it is. Do not inflate pain into personal woe, which shuts the room and makes it noisy.

om bhur bhuva ha svaha
tat savitur varen y am
bhargo devasya dhimahi
dhiyo yonah prachaha dayat

Through the coming, going and the balance of the essential nature
which illumines existence, is the adorable One.
May all perceive through subtle intellect
the brilliance of enlightenment.

Translation by Deva Premal


Near my mother’s house, there is a steep hillside into a bouncy valley.   A direct perception opened: walk down into my face – a Quantock bowl of fields  and villages … or as in the drawing above, the Welsh coast near Strumble head.   Inclusively, my hips and feet flow soft with gravity, the descent, receiving the earth, the dance, the touching.

Grief stings my heart – my mother’s sister died at 93, and the dog in London is gone – the field broke apart to enter the valley I am.  I am free.  The fields, the undulant hills and trees are my facial features;  I have no other. The steep lane and wide encircling landscape arouse my philosophy, my space of being … beyond speech.


red campion

I discover an identical resonance in the Gayatri mantra,  the Lords Prayer, the Hail Mary and the Kabbalah Invocation: “let thy will be done.”  Particle-waves of enlightenment are latent within the body of each circumstance.  Within every challenge of love, grief, boundaries, fair conduct, discernment and “I will”, the opening catches me inescapably. My father called the hardy pink campion flowers “bridget in her bravery“.  Bravery is the bride.


dboat and gull2006

seabird and boat, near isle of Rhum



I finished and published the Minona post in my other blog (17 September). The Minona and Beethoven drawing which I had such trouble with, is powerful. The soft blaze of grief is in her eyes.

Beethoven and Minona

Beethoven and Minona

I went on reading my 2014 journal on the bus home from the Quantock hills, enjoying it; I raised my spirits by softly singing the Gayatri mantra for a while. There is a lot in my journal last year, about the evolution of eros in our world. Adam-Eve had thoughts which grew into trees, animals and life – did I not walk down the Quantock hills into these, my soul body, my absence into Real-I?

Make this intention ongoing through the “unknown cognition” towards a community of grace.  Let go into the opening field space.  The blue Maurice Nicoll Commentary books contain the essence of Self enquiry, Ramana’s teaching, for post war western survivors in the Work.


So what to write now, to connect? Wait and listen and it shall come. Be willing for the Master to write. Remain quiet. I woke depressed and confused this morning, semi-dreaming about getting stuck on sheer pillars of rotten rock and cheating my way down to the ground. The false mind sets cruel tasks. But earlier I dreamt I was in a car with a man from the past – and our legs touched, and the feelings blossomed like they used to, brooking no deflection. I want to move on, yet the way in this lifetime powerfully embraces each other.

To connect, I wait and listen to Nicoll’s Commentaries: “You cannot reach Real I through personality, only through development of Essence…. Essence however, cannot grow unless personality is formed around it by life on this planet … A man must learn from life, become a good Householder …” In other words, God does not create us perfect, we are active, responsible participants in the Re-membering.

“You may ask why, if we were created perfect, at a level higher than Earth, it is necessary to be made to descend at all. The answer is that a being created perfect has contributed nothing to its own development. It would be easily tempted. Man by descent and ascent thus becomes stronger ‘than the angels’, as it is said somewhere.”

balsa boat annapurna

I made this balsa boat for my grandmother in about 1963. She called it “Annapurna in cumulus clouds”

My sense of descending into the Landscape Bowl of mud and villages and steep fields and curving lanes as my vital parameter, awakens. When it is separate, or just a background, I am shut away from empathy or taste of Life.

Crossing the road at Hammersmith bus station – all the moving flock are “I”. Their mystery moves through mine and is my being;  I create them as God does, or a child in the garden of being. Their never ending history is ready made. The instant they are created, their infinite past thread springs to life, just like that. This perception has no room for war, and outmodes religious conflict. When such a thought form is focused and strong, it has power to connect and to generate life and love.

Harbour 1987 - my ship of the soul

Harbour 1987 – my ship of the soul

I am reading The Never Ending Story by Michael Ende, which suggests that creative imagination in the human psyche strikes eternity fore and aft as it becomes fully conscious;  there is no beginning or end to being.  But great gaps of Nothing encroach, where the faculty is abused, distorted and destroyed.

The great evolutionary change occurring in humanity may be the shocking revolution that there is no heavenly thing or ruler which is God.

Instead, the dimension of God is kindled with the tinder-sticks of compassion laid together. The moment God is kindled through compassionate empathy and acceptance of each other, the One Reality, unendingly past and future, is omnipresent.   We can no longer devolve our responsibility onto an almighty figurehead:  that was the codependent dream of infants.  Opportunities to ‘do the beautiful’ as the Sufis say, are given to our inter-dependent re-cognition.  We see what was and is done by religious wars to destroy life and origins, and in the media jungle to erase human worth:  the gaps of Nothing in the never ending story.  There is an enormous resistance to awakening;  the ground resists the upward spring;  the long dark shadows cast by the rising sun, are Karmic samsara enclosures, which slowly fade.

Return to the flowing nature of God: the tetrahedral cycle of J H V H through human eternity: the vital solar spark of SAVITUR in the Gayatri, through the subtle intelligence.

TETRAGRAMMATON tetrahedron sequence


Nicoll asks, What is Understanding? “If Intellectual and Emotional Centres cooperate, then understanding begins. Does it mean a seeing together of many things from many points of view, and so quite distinct from one-sidedness?”

“We make aim in the Work, but do we understand our aim?”
To understand is essentially, to connect, with all our parts.

boats at Alet, Brittany, 1985

Boats at Alet, Brittany, 1985

boats on storm tossed marina

Boats on storm tossed marina, 1985

To be present when I am in pain or sorrowing, is to earth it. Then pain and sorrow are not trapped in thoughts or moral scholars, they exist freely. There is no argument or resistance to existence. “If you don’t fight with life, life takes you up, puts you on its shoulder …” Pain and joy and the light of foot belong here equally and seamlessly, passing into one another. If I grasp the root stem of my grief, it becomes still and holds the ship like a mast. Upon the larger part of my being, the words to tell are a scrap, a wet hanky only. Moments of inner connection are searing, silent and deeply satisfying. The understanding is not verbal. Understanding is presence … stand under the water falling.

tidal wave

tidal wave 1986

Harbour - these two paintings were on the same day.

Harbour 1986 – these two paintings were on the same day.

Moments of the inner connection connect with this level of being, throughout the humanosphere. My inner connecting connects socially, and beyond. In this strata I may pick up the Messages of the Great Ones. We are a fleet of living masts – and masts are aerials, antennae, antakharana – the One mast, of infinite variety.

Signal the Companions of the Light.


Ships in my mother’s house





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Touch Wood


Ramana & Arunachala children

Ramana & Arunachala children

Nearly two months ago, I dreamed about “the blue books of Ramana”.  In fact they looked exactly like the collection of Maurice Nicoll’s Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff. These four volumes – from Alan Jacobs’s library – have sat on my highest bookshelf for many years.

“I dreamed I was late for an event and toiling or dashing up and down a long street to collect items which others expected. Among the parade of shops on the right, a sign stood out, advertising an unknown book about Ramana Maharshi. I forgot the title, but it was his soul in the teaching. The sign remained consistently visible. At last I investigated, walked up that side of the street, looked for its doorway among the restaurants, hairdressers and supermarkets – and found: an Indian goods emporium. My way to the counter was blocked by a herd of huge brown smelly buffaloes. I turned away, dispirited, but then the herd miraculously cleared. I made enquiry for the book, and was directed to another region of the vast shop.  Upstairs where the books were. a friendly Indian woman assistant said Yes she knows the book, and got it for me. It was a set of slim old volumes with worn cloth binding, a beautiful natural dark blue, like Jim Ede’s Moroccan jacket, faded and buffed at the corners. There were three larger ones and one smaller one. I looked among the pages and wanted it very much. It contained everything in the “Talks” and other recorded conversations, and more …. what a collector’s item!

“The woman smiled and said this is not cheap. It is a first edition. How much? I asked. She replied, £700. So I couldn’t possibly buy it. She smiled. Then I woke up.

“I don’t need to buy it, for I have it in my soul – the beautiful blue covers of this teaching, the feel of the close white written pages inside: the liberation. It is enough to hold it for a moment in my hands, and remember.  Maybe the significance of the 700 will emerge? This contact un-crowds my life. I touch base.”

Ramana coming down off the hill

Ramana coming down off the hill




Some difficult weeks passed;  then at last I reached up for Volume Four of Nicoll’s Commentaries – which wear the same jacket I rediscover inside, in the practical way it works for me, the soul of Ramana Maharshi’s Self-enquiry.  In the last decade of Ramana’s life, Dr Nicoll was teaching and exploring the Work in his kindly way it seems by morphic resonance, in England during and after the war.

Dr Maurice Nicoll

Dr Maurice Nicoll


14 September 2015

Nicoll – “The Work teaches: ‘Observe yourselves uncritically and become more and more conscious of what is in your being and so become more and more objective to yourselves.’

“As you know already, this will gradually dissolve the Imaginary I, the False I, the False Personality that one has hitherto taken as oneself, and has nothing to do with the true centre of gravity of yourself called Real I.’”

He then goes on to discuss Recurrence. Ouspensky worked out a dimensional cosmology whereby we recur until the change begins to be made at birth. I don’t go fully with this, but I do observe my recurring Difficult Corner where I have failed and where I identify with what life throws at me – it is the identical misery and discomfort each time. So for me Recurrence is a psychological reality but not a literal one.

On the other hand, Nicoll feels the recurrence of Self remembering makes itSelf stronger also.  There is also the idea of Conscious Man reincarnating in an earlier part of historical time, where he can prevent things from going as they did. There is a plethora of parallel universes or possibles.

Violet Crystal 1988 - particle interaction in Tao of Physics

Violet Crystal 1988 – particle interaction in Tao of Physics


In quantum physics a particle travels back and forth in time as space, through interaction. The entanglement of future probables and re-shaping is an open mystery beyond the mental reach. The standard intellect collapses here. So people say it is impossible to reincarnate in the past, because of the advancing doctrine of time; but I am not sure. There is a power of choice. The choice is powerfully identified with the genetic flow and with cause and effect; but that same power might also antedate the causality. This power clasps the self or role I think I am. The role rides off with me. The historical possibilities are limitless, but I am voluntarily confined to the one familiar.

The full form of Self remembering is “the self that knows its own nothingness.”

Reacting to life is not doing or choosing. Reacting to life is not proactive but passively being driven into the difficult corner. “To change the action of life on you by inner work on impressions, is certainly to begin to do … begin with smallest daily things. … If we say that one meaning of Self remembering is to remember the Work at the moment when life makes you negative, here is a practical idea of Self remembering. The Work is brought into intimate personal existence …”

In the next Commentary, he says Time is a dimension of psychological distance and the ways of Self remembering must be held together, else they get lost.   He says Truth is silver (like the parable woman looking for a piece of silver in her house) – it is also a hatching egg: the contact must be sustained by nesting.

The Work and the way it thinks, is a lift, an elevator towards Those that stand in the light. “By means of our own thoughts, which are those of sleeping people imagining they are fully conscious, we cannot reach the thoughts that belong to people who stand in the light of Self remembering, and view the meaning of existence from that level… which weakens the mechanical power of sensual life/thinking and its apparent reality…. Now, if incoming life/impressions falls onto the Work, its energy is transformed; the first Conscious Shock.”

(The Enneagram was a significant part of Gurdjieff’s teaching – an octave of musical intervals wherein the Work’s 1st and 2nd Conscious Shocks occur at the semi-tones.  At the level of 2nd Conscious Shock, negative emotions transform into positive – as I understand it.)


The Work has to be the skin on which life’s impressions fall. If they fall on me personally, I react with mechanical skinless stress, and recur. There has to be this something to buffer and transpose and filter the events. In fact my journal is this filter. It records, but it attempts to filter the data to allow passage to those who stand in the light. The data become that passage. It is like being in a wood of dark trees, and first the stems turn grey, then the same stems are illumined as light. And then there is a threshold of not knowing but being: my small self gives up trying to solve issues, but touches wood.

Touch wood!

That is neat.

The Work is the process of transforming the negative effects of life. Touching the wood is in the present, the Now.

In the Babel or Confusion of Tongues, none of us understand each other. The Conscious circle of humanity perhaps speak in tongues, like the Pentecost. When I am not in Babel, I seem to hear another person’s being. I seem to hear many tongues of being, like a river, simply as being; and respectful of their private flow. My engine stops.   Every morning, my  writing’s objective is to find this point again:  non-interference.

“Those in the Third Consciousness get help from higher Centres – another way of understanding their apparently insoluble life-problems. … If life could be solved, then this Work could not exist. This Work is to make life possible in the sense that you cannot understand life save in terms of something else. This something else is the Work. Therefore if the Work could fall on the Work, internally we would awake.”



Observe yourselves uncritically and become more and more conscious of what is in your being and so become more and more objective to yourselves.’

This becomes phenomenological. Instead of my assumptive and headstrong bias, lay out the sensory I’s and attachments on the table; observe uncritically and be aware.

I find this hard, because anxious I obscures all the other I’s. Also, ghastly self image of being a dog with a grimacing gyrating grinning human waving the collar over my head and trying to put it on. Ah-ha. So to observe an I is to be it from inside!   Empathy. Any others?


domenico sea - Version 2


What about wading into the sea? being biffed by small salt waves.

The king is in his counting house, counting up his money, the queen is in her parlour, eating bread and honey. Play patience with the game of life.

In general today, do not isolate the I’s, enter and engage with them consciously. Let the Work act on them. Do not analyse but observe – it is extremely difficult to observe the causes of negative emotions. Ah-ha, here is one: the fallout of Romance. My romantic-I enters and invests heart and soul into proud and happy love affairs. Sooner or later that quality begins to shift, to unseat and to change – to doubt itself; to discover it was all a projection or has become one.   What about the warmth, love and happiness that drives and vitalises the projection?  Understand that no state is sustained. Everything arises, settles, changes and vanishes. I have been lucky to have love affairs of different kinds in the Work. Nothing is permanent.

So there are two – dog in collar and Romance-love. These are passionate, enthusiastic states of being, and I just had a hefty dose of the dog in collar. How they run together and blur!

With Maya, a friend's dog whom I loved and have had to say goodbye to - how I cried! - and am starting to recover. This and the other photos of Mask and Mantree were taken by an artist, Tony Wigg in the woods, for a spontaneous 'happening' - I stepped into the mask and veil.

With Maya, a friend’s dog whom I loved and have had to say goodbye to – how I cried! – and am just starting to recover. This and the other photos of Mask and Mantree were taken by an artist, Tony Wigg in the woods, for a spontaneous ‘happening’ – I stepped into the mask and veil.


There are the Intellectual, Emotional and Moving centres.   It is helpful to recall these, ‘phenomenologically’.

There is the I who doesn’t want to upset or offend. The I who finds it complicated to speak. The bossy controlling I, who knows best. The cliff-path exploring I. The child I.   The creative art I. The perfectionist I.  The liar I.  The lazy idle I.   These for starters.   They all pretend Real-I, but they are not. Real-I offers their inclusive sub stratum. And (added later) – the ASHAMED I, which lost my way home. And FEAR-I. And GUILT-i.

There is an expression: wasting force. Locate and do not waste force.

In the Emotional centre, observe the taste of the emotions, and whether I am identified or not. In the Moving centre, observe physical and subliminal tensions, and how I hurry or move. In the Intellectual centre, be aware of the kinds of thought going on, and whether I am hooked.

(Gurdjieff Movements: Photos by Amir Kaufmann)

gurdjieff movement, photo by amir kaufmann

gurdjieff movement, photo by amir kaufmann 2

Intellectual, Emotional and Moving centres move at different rates. You can’t apply Intellectual centre to Moving centre, because Moving centre is much slower than Intellectual centre’s rapid transactions. But you can use Moving centre with the breath and awareness of hips, soles of feet and so on … to slow down and integrate the other two into a vehicle that stays in gear. Being aware of the three centres is helpful – to discriminate them.

Gurdjieff demonstrated that people have habits in their three centres, which are very difficult to change. It is difficult to change habits in intellectual and emotional centres; it is easier to change them in the moving centre. So he taught the movements and the dances which interrupt the habit.   Work on intellectual and emotional centres must accompany and integrate work on moving centre.  Many years ago I practiced slowing my negative thoughts down to the physical rate of speech.  Mind stuff is mercurially self-addictive like lightning.  It was amazing how quickly it got bored and the drama vanished, when I spelled out the ‘hot thought’ slowly!  I couldn’t complete the sentence.

One of the many disciplines for moving centre, is hatha yoga.

Another exercise: for five minutes, put consciousness into every part of body, beginning with face muscles, to prevent being identified with a stress or wasted force. “Putting consciousness into the muscle tension is both internal and external attention. Try putting it in your right thumb – then in your left.”

Now, a question is asked (p.1253) – “What is this Work about? Why do we do it?”

The Work, the Great Work, and any form of esoteric study or spiritual practice, is done because I am not alone in the world, I live and interact with others. I am thrown in the world systemically among the moving plates of the sea, and how I interact and externally consider others, makes a difference. I cannot live with myself without it – without repeatedly trying to be aware in and as the world.

I seem to embark on long follies or illusions in my relationships and romances. Their learning curve is how I am made. I try to avoid it, and cannot – I throw myself into the golden key. In each, there is good will, love and rich data, as well as shadow. There is recurrence: there may one day come an opening through recurrence.

dancer - colliding tide at shingle street, suffolk

dancer – colliding tide at shingle street, suffolk





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address



Mysteries of Master R – Part 12: Trinosofia Chapter Seven, For Give


master R sketch 5

Master R, Comte de Saint-Germain, sketch 5, 2003


For Master R’s Trinosofia meditation and Manly P Hall’s commentaries, go first to the “Trinosofia texts” page in the title bar of this blog, and scroll down to chapter seven.

Below is my understanding:

Chapter Seven of the Most Holy Trinosofia takes us through an alchemical triple distillation, although (strictly speaking), the Distillation phase in the Great Work is assigned to the 6th sign, Virgo. Students of the bota Lessons in Tarot and Alchemy will recognise the work of the Sun flowing through the black dragon.

The Seventh stage in the Great Work is in the sign Libra, ruled by Venus, and it is called the “Sublimation”.  These three essential self-reflective processes – Digest, Distil, Sublimate – are ruled by the Sun, Mercury and Venus consecutively: that is, the action of Leo (Tarot 8 Strength), Virgo (Tarot 9 Hermit) and Libra (Tarot 11 Justice) in our body. Tarot Key 10 the Wheel is assigned to Jupiter.

I am considering the orbits of Mercury and Venus within the inner Solar aura.

The Tarot Key is Justice –  midpoint of the Tarot, the sign Libra. Its hebrew letter ‘LAMED’ is the tallest in the alephbeis – pictorially an ox-goad.  It also suggests the raised serpent of kundalini.  This Key invokes Karmic equilibrium which is cosmic justice. Reconciliation of opposites is suggested in the complementary colour tones.  On her breast she wears the letter T – a form of the 22nd letter, TAV, ruled by Saturn.  Saturn is exalted in Venusian Libra, as “the Faithful Intelligence”.   The Tarot Keys are living entities.  They are profound metaphors or archetypes. Contemplating them, with the desire “to live the good life”, awakens their correspondence in our soul.

bota key 11


In this post I re-open my 2003 journal – a time of intense study:

Journal 6 September 2003

Most Holy brother – as the radiations copy laboriously in the shop, please help Your ray move through me effortlessly, as does the fragrance of the rose, or amber. 

I dreamt in the night, of piercing thunder and lightning … I suspect my refuge in Master R is lodged in my primitive emotional strata; also within the intuition of what Kabbalah calls our Supervisors and what is elsewhere called the Masters, or the Great White Brotherhood – for the growth and refinement of the person in the soul.  At the root there is this ineradicable quest.  

Nothing is known for sure in Assiyah, the material world.  This is why Life in the body is the most mysterious element in the universe.  Only in the Higher World dimension (to which we mostly have little access) is there certainty.  Have compassion with brave and fumbling scientists!  Assiyah is the flambency of the mystery and bafflement of being at all – arrival as a human;  projection as a human.  Who and what am I?


libra sunrise 1988_0001

Journal, 7 September 2003

Manly Hall’s commentary confirms that this stage in the Trinosofia initiation is governed by Libra, the Scales.  In biblical times, this Sign represented the Passover of life from material into a non-material condition – the release.


roob alchemy saturn illustration

S Trimosin, Splendour Solis, London 16th century.  “Just as this Saturn is baptised with his own water, the black raven flies off.

The passage is one of purification;  the King sweats it out.  The water of Life which the sages gave him to drink, is now his to bathe in, pollute and regenerate.  The second immersion is corrosive and therefore of Mars.  The traveller stays there for 16 days (the Tarot path of Mars on the Tree) immersing, drying off and becoming the water, as the water purifies itself back to white sand and no longer wets him.  He has three immersions. When he leaves, he is equal to the water’s pure composition.  In the core of Hermetic philosophy is our water’s nature to cleanse itself, ultimately.

Trinosphia facsimile illustration in chapter 7

Trinosphia facsimile illustration in chapter 7

The illustration is the Great Seal between green pillars of Jakin, Bohaz.  The two small circles (red and black concentric rings, side by side) are interpreted as the Sun and Moon. The pendant Cross between them is the Stone of the regenerated elements – salt, sulphur, mercury – in Azoth.  It has four colours, but I am not told which colours.  It hangs from a gold cross-bar between the two disks.  These as Sun and Moon represent heaven and earth:  the Cross between them is their progeny and equilibrium.

Surrounding this symbol are two circles of hieroglyphs.  The outer one is indecipherable and apparently random; the inner one has a cuneiform script which Hebrew can crack.  It continues … “and is the outbreathing of Everlastingness”, and says “the Leg” (dawn of the age of Aquarius) is the beginning of the destruction before Nirvana.  This boils down to the chrysalis dying off … in present times.

The text, but not the illustration, has a silver axe with a blue handle.  It has a Hebrew name, which might be as Manly Hall says, “the instrument of separation”.  It is called the Destroyer, but the translation is “Lift the voice to its fullness in chant or song.”  This makes me think of the walls of Jericho and the trumpet.  It also implies, “separate the subtle from the gross” and “IAM … IAO”.  The symbolism is around the Justice figure arcanely, but plain to see.  The axe is an ancient symbol of initiated builders.  Its meaning is also in the Hebrew letter QOPh with which the Qabbalah begins.

Thou shalt separate the subtle from the gross,
and return it to its Nature, with prudence and wisdom.

Le Comte, terracotta sketch

Le Comte, terracotta sketch, 2003

This is separation through purification; in the threefold transmuting stages of the water, read the evolutionary aeons.  The water in the oval vessel is the Fountain and the Shining Sea. The lunar power is John the baptist: the solar power is Christ’s baptising by messianic fire. “The gross particles of the soul – the rust – are washed away, and life is prepared for a supersubstantial existence.”

IAM is OM, and AM is the most powerful and misused word in the human universe; and AUM resonates a harmonic around the OM.  SO-HAM is the ancient Sanskrit (and apparently Egyptian also) way of breathing in and out: “I am.”

I woke in the morning with two messages:  “on the path with Fear, you don’t get many Love messages” and Master R saying in the 1947 transcript, “Love and you shall know.


Trinosofia illustration chapter 7 - give way to the force

Trinosofia illustration chapter 7 – give way to the force


Journal, 8 September 2003

The way forward with V – I think – is to perform in myself small and actual rites of for-giveness. To give way to the force – a wordplay which dawned on me at age 20 – is in our mutual seed, and the intention FORGIVE must be stencilled clear in our etheric body.  If I do this, it may help him.  Elder Brother, I loved V, but you know one loves any Tree to whom one gives so many years and so much gardening, because that in itself is the act of love, and when I met V 34 years ago at age 20, the force of what was to come was recognised and received as shock.

Meditation – the moving breath – happens at the point of connection, the interface, the agenda.  The Fountain is the oval bath in the Trinosofia Seven script, and the cleansing of rusty Mars.

Note also at this point: the Sword and Scales of Justice: Saturn’s exaltation in Venus’s sign Libra.  Do not overwork, but acknowledge these things in passing;  the light touch, the way the subconscious delivers its operation.  When I know the subconscious operates perfectly, I do not have to put a fork in it to make it work, do I?  It processes this matter just fine, and does what is required, no more and no less.

bota key 18 The Moon

And see also the operation of the red and the violet together, in Key 18. Its Hebrew letter is QOPh, meaning “an axe” and also the roof which opens up.

This key’s magenta border – reddish violet – vibrates at B-Natural.  From the medulla oblongata in the brain stem at the back of the head, it governs processes of sleep, embodiment and evolution of species.  The path beyond the twin towers of the body ascends gradually and undulates, so that the dark valleys are higher than the summits we attained when setting out .  Upon that mountain in the far distance stands the Hermit (9) who illumines the life of our soul.


So I just now drew in colour (see above), a ‘FOR GIVE’ MANTRA in the general design of Trinosofia Seven.  Thoughts which arose during this were: the first obedience is to the promptings of one’s own soul, and the severest penalties occur until one learns this for good.  Secondly, I believe V gave me his angry ‘cornered dog’ story as a gesture from his soul, so I shall re-read it in the light of the mantra I drew this morning.  

(As I drew it, a loose “bye bye go well”
sketch fell out of the sketch pad):

Pithy tree of life


It now seems the for give drawing reveals in colours, something of my Ray structure that I wondered about yesterday.  It is a powerful stencil.

(I painted on the same day, for Sacred India Tarot, Sita through the fire in the suit of Staves.)

Sacred India Tarot - 7 of Staves

Sacred India Tarot – 7 of Staves


7 July 2015

I mentioned the walls of Jericho (in para above – ‘The text, but not the illustration, has a silver axe with a blue handle’).

The path of Mars is Tarot Key 16, the Tower (or House of God) connecting Hod to Netzach. The awakening vibration  is deep scarlet. On my Alchemy Tree it has at centre a little feminine blue triangle where it crosses the royal blue path of Temperance.  You can see it on the base-line of the red “Awakening” triad.  Below it is a second blue downward triangle in the violet sphere of Yesod.  In Malkuth, earth, there is a red masculine triangle in the indigo oval. This is the akasha-tejas tattva, combining the mars and saturn centres.

The male triangle rises towards the two descending female ones.

There is a beautiful correspondence here with the Siva Shakti Indian yantra:


Along the path of Mars where walls fall away, speech of the higher planes may be heard. When I give attention, the speaking tongue (hebrew letter PEH) of Mars-squared, leads me to Master R (who is on the violet ray).



Netzach Hod Temperance sketch

Netzach Hod Temperance sketch.  Temperance is Tarot Key 14, with Archangel Michael.


In the Bible story, the walls around the city of Jericho – personal ego – fell when Archangel Gabriel’s trumpet sounded.  Here too, the path joining Hod to Malkuth, is a scarlet field;  it vibrates into the ground, like a fire stick.

In Tarot, the tonal frequency of letters SHIN and PEH is scarlet.  The word RGVZ (associated with Key 14 Temperance, which crosses Key 16 Tower) is generally translated as ‘wrath’ but actually means ‘vibration’.

The human code interprets this violently, but it is more like a whisper, a zephyr in the field, an alteration of the form.  As flowers pierce, as newborn babies rotate and crown, as the desert wind softly turns your sense of direction, so the power emerges – Mars gently.

Violinist 2


Song in Scottish mode, by Master R, 18th century

Song in Scottish mode, by Master R, 18th century






Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address


Discoveries with Tarot and a Garden (4) – A Valley and a Train


zodiac with ophiocus

“From Journal 24 May 2011:  A Valley with a Train – (with quotes from Paul Foster Case and the Pattern on the Trestle Board)

AVE:  Work on the personality is perennial.   Transformation in the knots and edges is slow.   Wholeness of truth is assured, and there is no hurry.

At the grade of lesser adept, we integrate Tifareth.   A greater adept is at Gevurah, Exempt adept is at Hesed, Master of the Temple at Binah, Magus at Hokhmah, and Ipsissimus at Kether.

tree of life for group work

tree of life for group work

In Paul Foster Case’s words, “‘Passing’ from Gevurah to Binah, one makes and keeps an adjustment of consciousness which permits him to receive the full impact of the influx from NShMH, as the influx pours outward and downward from Binah” – a wonderful depiction of the Chariot on this path.

… “One who listens to a radio overcomes the limitations of space and time and becomes virtually present in the room where the programme originates.”


Know the oak – seated where its branches flower – and look up into the Crown.

bota key 7 The Chariot

The sphinxes that draw the chariot represent the light and shadow of the Great Magical Agent.  “The field of his mastery is speech, the power attributed to the letter CHETh. This includes all verbal expressions of thought …   He uses words as building stones, the vibratory values of various combinations of sounds, and the ideas which correspond to those sounds. By directing the subtle forces of sound, combined with thought, he builds himself a body which resists every hostile force. Filled with understanding of its perfect law, I am guided, moment by moment, along the path of liberation.  

“He makes no plans, is never anxious, and has little curiosity concerning the future. He sees the immediate and sometimes the distant future as a present reality.”



Yesterday I walked from Chesham to Kings Langley, along the great Herfordshire Way – one of the noble paths of England.   I pick up the Hertfordshire Way after some miles, just east of Flaunden.   It was windy and all the way I smiled to hear the deep song in the trees, with the birds;   the absence of any city sound or square – the wide spread of fields, woods and green wheat.   Another volcano erupted in Iceland – on the day (21st May) the world was predicted yet again to end, by some chap in New York.


The wind in the trees is the subtle force of sound – as stated above. There were many wild roses, and two poppies, and buttercups   It was my holiday away from London, but both Mrs Tiggy and D rang me.   Mrs Tiggy has had a chat with C, and one of her beloved cats got run over, and lost his tail.   D wrote Can I pop over to see him after my walk, please.  I began to worry as usual, if he’s upset with something – the Zombies etc.- and was a bit cross that my time out was no longer open ended.  I had planned to walk all the way to Brickets Wood station north of Watford; but when I reached Kings Langley after four hours, I was suddenly tired and aching, and the wind turned cold with specks of rain: I would not have enjoyed going further. There stood a station and a fast train to Euston; I was at Alum Way by 7.15 and home by 8.30, so it all worked perfectly.

Young wheat

Young wheat

The interdependence is quite hard to keep steady and in its proper field. I curve to D very readily, and imagine nervous scenarios.   Do I allow too much dependency?    My duty and my own dependency is quite transfigured with the fresh pleasure of seeing him: though his voice on the phone is often an irritation.  He now thanks God for the black wrought-iron spiked gate the Zombies installed, to barricade their front entrance from his and the Sisters’.   It sets off his plants and hanging baskets handsomely. The tall green garden gate I made, with its rounded points, retaliates hilariously.


Listening to the sound in the trees – the Hierophant – are the mice and men of small daily plans and how they actually work out. That in itself is beauty.   Gevurah in relation to Tifareth, is the string’s fine tuning: the composition of a Master painting – Rafaello’s geometry.   Gevurah is the appreciation of beauty. I recognise the manifestation of the undeviating Justice in every circumstance of my life. In all things great and small, I see the Beauty of the divine manifestation. Justice is ultimately “juste” – the tuning of a key, the vital equilibrium of its triple string.

What is beautiful?   the fact that at a given point during my long walk, I wore out, and was translated at a right-angle across my path, onto a train and into the next lease of energy – for I lay down to bed quite late, and slept well.   Never force my body through the breaking point – not any more.

A trainee receives insights from the “higher garden”, packing them systematically into the lower. The insights are Reality.   In this context, I am every grade and gradient of the path: for Ipsissimus is eternal, here and now, descending to “lower” grades – incarnations – to solve specific problems of algebra, bio-geometry or calculus. The ascent is an illusion of life and time.   Kether is with me always.

Paul Foster Case discusses the grades in his The True and Invisible Rosicrucean Order, and in other works.

“If he has something to do which demands physical exercise and dexterity, he centres his consciousness deliberately in GVPh (Malkuth). If his work is concerned with the forces of the astral plane, he moves his centre to the Vital Soul, Yesod. For an intellectual problem he shifts focus to the field of Hod, and for an activity of desire, to Netzach.”

This is another statement of how the Magus embodies, by identifying with the various densities, and how I detect those incremental forces. For me to sleep, the bodies must be aligned, and they seldom are.   Out on a walk, when fatigue drops away, it is because the Spirit is aligned with my hips and feet.   When the alignment is not, my feet hit the ground, I feel tired and clumsy – a long way for children to walk.   These conditions alternate.   It is extraordinary to incarnate, but mostly overlooked, because the physical states are overwhelming .   Hindsight shows the pattern:   a tired walker, a valley with a train.

Arcanum 18

Key 18 is the journey.   Look at the wind of the Adept in my wild rosebush.   A Master of the Temple – all those levels of embodiment – is the force of heaven, always.

rose in saucer

It is lovely to be on the receiving end, and to know I am known – even if briefly.   Each spark of knowledge is vast like a star. They brood within my wood.

Something – the archetypes of Key 18 arising? – makes me sleepy now.


nureyev & fonteyn





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Discoveries in Tarot and the Garden 2011, Day Three

Arcanum 20 judgement

24 May 2011 – Notes from a BOTA study group
Contemplating BOTA TAROT Key 20.

BOTA key 20

We colour our own BOTA Tarot Keys by the book, to receive and embody their resonance.

Gabriel appears four-dimensionally, obeying no law of foreground or background time, but here, out of his cloud ring. He is an Archangel of Water, with fiery wings.   The horn he blows is straight down the middle: the design traces the Tree Sefiroth. The horn is the spinal thread on which the chakras are strung: the inner flute. It calls the uprising child, whose arms outstretched form a Y or V.

There are seven planetary rays from its bell, and twelve zodiac rays from Gabriel’s cloud, plus a thirteenth – the horn itself: AChD, AHBH (13 = unity and love).

Note that Key 19 – the Children of the Sun – sheds 13 YODs, and how the rays of the Sun shine concentrically around.   In Key 20, the 13 YODs as rays, are focused into the human condition, like a bird’s wing indrawn.

The Sun rises with Buddha’s intimate detachment as the children “cook” in their grassy vessel with sunflowers.   Then Archangel Gabriel in the Judgement, the Annunciation – (for he the messenger, struck Mary’s child with divine awareness) – engages intimately with each human soul.

madonna at table 1957

madonna at table 1957


Gabriel’s right hand is over his heart and his left hand over his belly.   This is said to be a good mudra to summon sleep and align one’s bodies.

The stone coffins float on the waters of the subconscious:   they are not only linear third-dimension cells from which the cultivated humanas grows, but also the athanor of the Children of the Sun: their protecting wall.

BOTA key 20 - detail

bota key 21 World

These Children grow up into parents:   their child becomes the androgynous Union of the World in Key 21.

The woman’s gesture L is active. She smiles, because at last she is understood.   The man’s gesture X over his heart is surrendered, he now looks up and receives the Archangel directly.   L V X:   let there be light.   Let this be no mere salute.


What is Judgement? How is it different from Justice?   The design echoes and develops Key 14 on the path of Probation, in which the human beings are the lion and eagle in Ezekiel’s vision. (The lion and eagle receive alchemically, the water which burns and the fire which flows.)  Where Justice holds a Karmic balance, the Judgement commands an Ascension to a higher level. The Archangel Michael in Tarot Key 14 is often depicted holding the sword and scales of Justice, Key 11.

Visually, the design in Keys 20 and 14 fits over Key 6 the Lovers too, whose Archangel is Rafael. (see further down)

The subconscious responds to images. Each of the Tree of Life’s 22 paths has a Tarot Key.  We contemplate the Tree visually and as a whole – the paths of intelligence and influence.

Through the Four Worlds of Jacobs Ladder, the paths of ZAIN (sword) and SHIN (tooth) “overlay” each other. The Hebrew letter ZAIN (the Lovers) is the descent of Understanding and discernment from Binah into Tifareth, the heart centre.  Letter SHIN (the Judgement) is the element of promethean fire reaching Malkuth, the ground.


Pictorially, the Archangel is veiled from the Lovers by the cloud, and pierces THROUGH the cloud to the lovers of the Judgement.   The Judgement is an overall cosmic grace, receiving Volition (Gevurah) and Benevolence (Hesed).   The qualities of Gevurah and Hesed are constraint and expansion, the balance.

Then where is the fourth Archangel?   Key 15, the Shadow, masks Archangel Uriel of the lightning flash – and presents our greatest challenge, at all levels.   There are organisations.   “Give me a spiritual contact and I will organise it!

Examine the different attitudes of nakedness in the 22 Keys – how the man and woman in 15 seek to exploit and disguise it, and how in 6 and 17, the nakedness is unabashed and loves itself:  the natural state.

arcanum 17 star

bota key 17 star

In Key 17, the chakras in the woman’s spine are “interior stars”.  The pool is all of them, reflecting the evening sky.  Her foot rests lightly on the waters of the soul.  This Key is also called “Meditation”, and from the same pool the evolutionary path of Key 18 will emerge – as she sees it.  The hebrew letter Tzaddi resembles a fish-hook which we let down into the deep.

Painting of Arcanum 18, 2002. The idea here, is to sit with the star-woman by the well. Look up with her, through the Tree’s Sefiroth from Malkuth to Kether. Yesod is the pool of evolution, with crayfish, guardian dog and wolf. Tifareth is the golden Sun just visible at the horizon of the long  path to full humanhood. Daat is the timeless presence of our unknown Guides. The ‘third eye’ Tzaddi is Key 17’s ‘fish hook’ meditation. Kether is the White Sun. The side Sefiroth are coloured in the Queen Scale. Each Tarot Key is modelled on the Tree of Life.


In Key 20, the Judgement, the great sea water congeals to ice mountains – the density of the Spirit of Ruach.   We receive a fountain breath right down the centre of Key 20, from above to below, like Genesis.   Let the horn wake the flute.

One of the most helpful pointers for me, was when we spontaneously saw that the seven stages of spiritual unfoldment – F’s question, doing his tarot Interpretation exam – are not just 15-21, but INCLUDE the two septenary levels above them in the Tarot Tableau:   the tonal depth enriches and opens up the dimension.

bota tarot tableau

BOTA Tarot Tableau, showing the three septenaries and all the intermediary relationships of the Tarot, like a keyboard.


Are the coffins in Key 20 tethered to land, or do they float?   We agreed that they float, and we also caught sight of the opened lids, representing all the Karmic history which limited the parents: the child has no lid but the infinite Archangel – the Law of resurrection or growth through the planes.   Those floating coffins are like the silhouettes I’ve been discussing (in previous post), pasted on the infinite, wobbling in the water surface like oil.   The human Family arises like a living iris from flat-earth outline theory.


The Iris flower symbolises Key 14: the rainbow.   Michaels’ wings are of fire through droplets of water.

BOTA key 20

There is an outline, and there is the living truth:   they intersect at a right angle – this is displayed cryptically in the red cross flag attached to Archangel Gabriel’s horn. The red cross flag represents also the white work and the red work.   The white work is spiritually inspired.   The red work applies it to the earth vessel with the help of Mars, the secret fire.

It was agreed that different souls’ responses to kundalini – whether it be presented in picture form or internalised in body awareness – should not be generalised.

The flag also represents the rosicrucean vault proportions – 3 : 5, 5 : 8 – the golden mean.   The cross on it echoes the man’s hands, crossed over his heart.

renaissance angel, 1957

renaissance angel, 1957

An African told me two dreams he had, which helped him to understand one of Warren’s books perfectly (Halevi).  In the first dream, a priest told him he is Jewish. In the second dream, he was shown in a graphic diagram, just how souls drop into incarnation along the line, in such a way that it changed his life. Then he could read the book, which before, he couldn’t grasp.


This day of Tarot is, as it were, the other side of yesterday’s Deva page.   They co exist happily, like palms together.

renaissance madonna, 1957

renaissance madonna, 1957


Each Tarot Key has a musical note, related to its colour vibration, as in Pythagoras.  We learn these in the BOTA correspondence course lessons.

The council lawn mower passes back and forth, below my window.   Its motor has a tonic note, to which I spontaneously chimed a fourth above; and suddenly struck a beautiful edgeless chord or vibration.   This is how we can “play” the Tableau visually. The notes of Mirth, Awakening, Meditation, Embodiment, Realisation, Ascension and Completion along the base of the Tableau make chords with the Keys above them.

bota tarot tableau, keys 15-21


The lawnmower note turned out to be the first I blew on the whistle – an E.   E is yellow, the tone of the Fool and the Magician and Strength.   The tonic is B major – magenta – Key 18 the Moon:   the questing way of embodiment.

Very nice to see these Keys together – how the Fool leads the quest, and the Magician and Strength contain and focus it.


Arcanum 18, painting


F said yesterday, it is difficult for him to grasp the chakra correspondences in the bota system.   It takes time. We have to live with it and let it grow and inform, like the Magician with his plants.


arcanum 0 fool





Discoveries in Tarot and the Garden 2011 – Part Two

Karmic shape

I am dipping back into an old diary – see previous post.

22 May 2011 – Pentacle:  Dark Pennies and Victory Falls

AVE.  Some strong spiritual leaders of humanity “clothe their higher bodies with physical matter, by stepping down the vibratory rate of their personal vehicles. The greater number are men and women who came into earth-life in the usual way” through the birth canal.

(Quotation from Paul Foster Case)

Every one of us has the unfolding, dormant or active potential of master of humanity: magister.   Ramana and other sages relate to this, in each soul they see. The “grade” is omnipresent, for it is our true Self, and it is mostly unnoticed.

It is a remarkable thing to creep into the embodied arena through that tiny little door and fall into the storms, milk and wiped slate of babyhood.   Our deepest privacy is what we no longer remember, because our memory’s data base rests on learning to read. Before literacy, there is usually an awakening contact with the tribe of past lives, their fruition in this one – the magic of childhood.

The magi move with ease, when their bodies have grown up through the dramas of puberty and infancy.  Hold this impression:   the magister in me through a string of births: the oak inside the acorn: the presence of the magister in every time and place, is a lode star:   I keep returning to talk about it.

Warren & Ibn Gabirol


My writing in the mornings consists of: spiritual contact, study and psychology – the daily application –  for instance, tales of the garden at Alum Way reflect for me in their textures and patterns of leaves, the contact of the deep. They do, because there is love going on there – enough to much amuse the magister: enough to ground the settlement: enough to reflect the law.   Human love is a servant to the transpersonal.   Instinctively, it makes me work hard and develops my dedication.

Yesterday I sowed the first grass seeds along the edge of the garden where the rubbish dump used to be – I knelt and stroked them into the earth. The man came along at that moment and teased.   In the evening we watch Grand Designs, following persons who build their dream mansions, and all the problems of construction, relationship and planning – a roof which turns out to be too high, etc.   And look at me!   My Grand Design in reverse, removed a mountain, and I end up not high on the roof but hands and knees on the ground, like this – smile.


Ramana used to say, when you dig a well, or realise your Self, all you do is remove what isn’t there.   All that stuff blocking it is space. For much of my life I fantasised Capricornly about building or creating some big thing bare handedly – it turns out to be this space, and it gives me confidence at various levels. Only with our hands touching earth do we realise the heavenly motions.

Yesterday I also painted both gates green – a brighter park-bench Venus green which the man bought and finds more cheerful: his instinctive signal to the Zombies (neighbours) – my green is bigger than yours – and re-organised the back “subconscious” wild garden, moved the tip-rubbish to the other side of its entrance, sorted out the woodpile/long lovely privet poles for fencing, and raked up the man’s grass trimmings.   The Zombies were busy trimming the elderflower tree by the street – they have plans for their little front garden; with their fear of the man, they use their back garden less.   I do not have the social skill to speak to them at present, but I enjoyed the feeling of them working near me: the Meerkat – who has turned blonde – sweeping up leaf-litter by the bins.   The man’s way with the Zombies is now quite sensible – keep distance: aloof courtesy.

Now yesterday – my insights from the garden clearance begin to dew – I jotted that it doesn’t matter to be wrong or mistaken. The magi too are constantly adjusting focus: like one who draws. The fixed fear of making mistakes is egotistic.

I saw when dozing the other day, an image of the Victoria Falls – there are pictures of them in Prof Cox’s universe book, a magical place of rainbows falling (of course) on himself – the fast moving flood tosses turbulent white.   On the brink, bushy islands or trees part the vast spill. I saw this too from a distance, like teeth and gaps, or silhouettes, and imagined myself caught on one of those tree-clumps between the thundering waters: identifying.   I flit like a butterfly by an abyss – cliffs of fall.   The subconscious distils to me the image.   The dark places where the trees cling to rock, along the wide white bite of the falls, shocked and awoke me.   Jung says “unconscious” material floats to the surface and shocks the dreamer.

Similarly: the patches of the finite – vibrant bodylife, and its moods and dreaming cityscapes – are pasted on the infinite. They – the silhouettes – are on a plane merged with the grey Infinite, yet distinct, like threads of oil on water. For some reason the silhouette being not tilted but resting in the plane, pleases me.

I swim in your silhouette, your shadow on the grass – a little pool.   Circles – pennies – of the soul that can lie a little overlapping one another as vesica pisces without invasion, are a  tender discovery. I don’t think it is possible in a relationship’s early stages to venture this, because too many karmic defences and compulsions are being processed.   In the early stages there is infatuation and quite a lot of psychic rape.

daisies shadow

Lay the coins – the shadow discs of the soul – together, move their edges over one another, then back.   The fish where circles overlap, is a fluid oval, and from it the Angel or the Child rises.   Relationship – as spiritual practice – is a field where the shadow discs quiver together like leaves in the breeze.   It is whimsical or it is conscious. The clean parting is as important as the merging.   That is why the Lovers’ hebrew emblem is ZAIN the sword whose tip parts the ways. It applies to partnership and to the binary relationship within my self.

(“And” is VAV, the Hierophant. This is because the hebrew letter VAV means a hook or nail – something that joins things together or bridges souls – and even signifies the grammatical conjunction “and”.)


The shadow discs lie in the field, deep blue with night. One may look into the other, and empathise, withdraw, empathise. To speak is not necessary.   They throb.

Yesterday was not really optimum for planting grass, with the Moon in last quarter.   However my incentive to carry through, was strong  – the Moon in Capricorn, and Mercury, Venus and Mars in Taurus.   21 May, my daughter’s birthday, is also for me, a moment of the Magi;   they reveal their face.   The gardens – all earth, with some timber piles, a few new shrubs and garlanded with trees – are a beauteous space in readiness, an invitation.   This week is also the man and my 5th anniversary.   There is a curious and welcome spiritual relaxation – take it or leave it – with things.   Removal of anxiety is truth.

But see:   keep clearing:   pause in the inward turned writing, which is on a daily base repetitive, and be silent;   hear and see.   The world was rumoured to come to an end, yesterday.

The gardens are a lens, responding also to my meetings with Jung and Master R at a plain round table in a secret garden by a hedge.   At Alum Way, I am busy in the garden:   here at home I see and rest in it.

bota empress and lovers

Thus the coins overlap and part.  They are pentacles.  The pentacle is a yantra of the bare soft earth, that I tread level in a circle with my feet, for planting.  Pentacles are stars, five-petal flowers, and seals of Solomon;   pentacles are magic rings.  My ideas of circles of grass in squares of ground should not be applied too literally.   The magic gestures are in my writing:   the material and the plans are his.  I watered everything yestereve copiously with Marion’s hose:   but it rained a little anyway, in the night, and now the wind sings in a bright sky with leaves.

The rainbow waters of Victory descend through my flute.   This is Fall – the endless falling of the Light.   Light loves gravity.   Light is also gravity – curved as space around the spheres.   Gravity is endless and everywhere – the falling.   In some parts among the stars, it condenses locally and vorticises to black holes – the birth of stars. Black holes are old collapsed stars.   Their singular rebirth shines through the other side of the spangled cloth.   Stars are infinite, even though they die.   I am infinite, even though I die.   I see above the clouds:   my face is every where.   Is gravity the speed of light?

The lesson of the brown pennies lying in the field, is when I see into your dark with you; I rest with your reality; it is a mystery how we touch.

In the day, the sparkle in your face breaks mine in a smile: your eyes as bright and dark as a child; your bravery in the battle field: your cock and your crisp wit like toast:   your deep voice and will power in your chest and throat: your brown impulsive hands: your flaws: your broken teeth and smokers cough: your unfettered expression of your vulnerability: your emotional zest.

It is wise to keep distinct, my depth perceptions and the surface pools.   They marry and entwine in time – it is the hourglass of the stars.   Where I live as a membrane or sounding board, it is unwise to define too much. The circles on the water expand, contract, change shape to rods and amoebic globes, disappear and reform;   the five mobile islands where Hokhmah dips his hand.


Point, line, solid

Ah! a thought while blowing out the candle:   my present drift away from esoteric groups and ritual is because I am being assisted by the nature Devas whom I honour in the garden.   I’m glad to be reminded of the Devas.   This clarifies much, and puts the adventure in context.   The Devas spell out things of life very clearly, and dispel hobnobbing.






Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Discoveries in Tarot and the Garden 2011 – part One

Glancing back … In 2011, I studied Tarot, Alchemy, reclamation and relationship.  Physically, I sanded down, varnished and restored the floors of a small concert venue in Highgate, and at the same time removed (by hand) a ten year rubbish dump from a string of neglected gardens in Alum Way near Golders Green – the task took almost 9 months.  In my journal I reached ground zero and celebrated my daughter’s birthday:

arcanum 3 empress


Summer gives me a greatly extended day: getting up with full daylight, is at 5.45, earlier than ever. I finish writing between 8 and 9.30 usually; then all being well, I am active until eight or nine in the evening – how do I manage in winter?   The body clock contracts accordingly, so everything adjusts.   In winter I watch more TV and (obviously) sleep more, because I hit the hay about the same time.

the builders - Tor mudras 2003

Each morning before I write, I open the Tree of Life.  I say Warren Kenton’s Invocation (“let us gather together, draw together, let us form a vessel to catch the dew of heaven.  Let us rise up and go to that holy place of meeting, and gather there with the Companions of the Light;  and let the veil of Heaven be drawn back.  Hear this:  Malkuth, Yesod, Hod  …”).

With the Invocation, I do  Dion Fortune’s hand mudras – The Good Shepherd, Those who Sailed West to East, The Builders – and repeat Actaeon’s vision to – “part the waves, kiss the lips, turn the wheel, fingers touch numbers of the clock, enter the cave, find the jewel, and climb the mountain, through the rainbow.”

I let it dance as a physical instrument, to earth it, feet on rosewood floor.   At the end of writing, I blow out the candle and “come down the Tree.” I used to neglect this, but was taught that closure is proper.   In ritual I am lazy – it is pared down to the essentials – but dedicated.   This sounds right. It is a hand-clap to summon and thank the guardian angel.  It diminishes my weevils and opens the sky.   Ritual is a statement of embodied intention: ascent.

The drawing above, is of Dion Fortune’s mudra – three gestures with the hands were transmitted to her in trance. I drew them embedded in the slanting wave-contours of Glastonbury Tor. The peak is a mental-plane arena – ring of stones, winged angel and chalice, in a subtle vesica-pisces geometry. The vertical circles intersect the horizontal one – like my painting of the Grail Table with the Tree.

Grail Table round

The Tor angel is a cut out silhouette window of light within the tower.   Recall  the silhouettes we see each other as;  my day’s changing modes are silhouettes. A rare opportunity permits my intimacy with another silhouette; to deepen objectively and be aware.   The invitation to enter another’s room, and vice versa, rubbing shoulders, should not spell out each others’ codes, but empathise. Our vesica pisces: the circles, as on the Tor peak, enter each other just a little.   Creative imagination is the Empress dressed in green.   Out she comes! lush, like an apple.

bota key 3 Empress

Venus is lush like an apple.  Yellow, green and red, with black and blue are colours of alchemical antimony, a kind of transformational corrosive, or quickening.   She is pregnant, about to parturate, seated on a stone bench – cool stone to her distended fanny.   Swollen seed splits.   Golden stars of the zodiac dance nonchalantly around her head; her gaze eye to eye, is direct:   relationship.


11 hours old

At 9.15am, thirty four years ago, I saw my daughter rotate out from my thighs, slippery, greyish dark pink, flecked with blood, vibrantly athletic and alive, her father’s face, her well formed female sex, her strong trumpet cry – the lady’s a survivor!   In this light, the Angel descended through me a moment later, with an overwhelming maternal bonding instinct:   love.

How perfectly it all fits together ! When a royal child lies in her cradle in the fairy tales, the godmothers who gather round, are zodiacal powers of love and of compromise – the gifts for life.   They are titanic feelings.   Every mother who has looked at her new child and been struck by lightning, knows them. Nature!


primrose hill


Nature is the goddess – and when I next see Ris (she says she wants a quiet birthday on her own, but might change her mind later and let me take her out for a nosh), ask her a bit more about the Goddess or feminine energy she’s reading about, and the totem stick.   She told me the other day, about seven daughters of Eve, and mitochondrial DNA.

7 daughters of Eve, by Ulla Plougmand Turner

7 daughters of Eve, by Ulla Plougmand Turner

Ancient women of Gaia at first trusted the masculine deity as he rose – made trade with him – and then, as he abused them, they became atheists.

When a deep perception is on the way, it is like the child coming through the canal, and my thought in-draws silently, and waits.   Labour in its fullness, is the natural coming and going of the breath.   My labour hurt a lot, but after I was allowed to push with it, the massive commitment with nature replaced the pain.  The essence of labour is not violent, though the sensations in transition are extremely so – the waves knock against each other.   The essence of labour, as during the pregnancy, guides the little voyager through the portals;  she rides her vessel through oceanic storms of emotion – which there were.   Whatever the mother’s argument, tension, grief or release, that little presence deep inside, is kept safe in harbour as she grows.

The ancient women of Gaia trusted the man in the field, planting grain, and he betrayed, abused and confined them.

This fable works its way organically through the soul, like a baby through the birth canal, until it is delivered to the air.   When the fable is embodied, she is conscious, and may choose to forgive.   For as long as there is no “for give”, it must be born again.   Eventually the forgiveness – the wholeness – is accomplished, and then there is movement.

Whatever the lifetimes in my daughter’s private inner soul, unknown to me – an outline emerges; the depth of her Karmic compassion as a certain trouble took form. Her soul was emboldened to reconcile it. Her father lost his creative path in life, and abused us with his rage and disappointment. She does not wish him ill.   She may have interacted with him in previous lives, as I did, or he may have been called upon by destiny to play the bully.   He knew not what he did.  At a certain depth, and taking time, the action of individual souls upon each other is archetypal and transformative.

For me, Karmic issues seek a conscious breath and transmutation.   If an ancient woman is abused or blamed, if men exploited her, lifetimes may fill with revenge, directed outwardly or inwardly, sometimes inflicting and sometimes receiving, sometimes as the man and sometimes as the woman.  Long shadows are thrown across history, for ourselves to embody with life, growth and awareness.  In time a maternal environment is found, which is alchemical, and accelerates things:   we meet our full nature … and let it go.

The fertile green plants all down her stair and filling her balcony, are symbolic.   On my way to Warren’s meeting on Thursday evening, I saw her sitting in her doorway among them – she has an open view up to Hampstead from her roof-terrace village – and so I sent a text, and she waved back.

Karmic issues are subtle, powerful wave-trains. It is too simplistic to make them tit for tat, because they criss-cross also (as in the Nasca lines of birth chart aspect patterns);  Karma is an echo chamber. When I walk in the sea with Mercury, my soul is raised enough to glimpse the divine dimension which seems to us (who live within its walls, waves and thumb-print whorls) such a labyrinth. I see the simple noble outlines, and at the same time, their complexity; a vast world. It is a great honour to behold thus: to walk in the sea with Mercury.

Illustration from Alchemy & Mysticism by A Roob

Illustration from Alchemy & Mysticism by A Roob

Speaking of which, Mercury through Gemini rules The Lovers, Tarot key 6.

My daughter’s Tarot template is:

Individuality:  Sun on Gemini cusp – The Lovers, key 6
Personality: Ascendant (and Moon) in Cancer –  The Chariot, key 7
Problem: add 6 to 7 = Death, key 13, “Scorpio force” (the movement)
Solution:  subtract 6 from 7 = key 1, the  Magician, Mercury (the focus)
by what Means?:  subtract 1 from 13 = 12, the Hanged Man: the Waters
Integration – sum of the previous five = 12, the Hanged Man: or 3, the Empress.

Ris tarot template

Ris tarot template, Sun Gemini (Lovers) Ascendant Cancer (Chariot)

bota key 3 Empress

jane tarot template

jane tarot template, Sun Capricorn, Ascendant Virgo –  only four keys, because problem & solution are both 6.  The sum of the four keys reduces also to 3, the Empress.


I knew Key 12 was strong in her template: which means “reversal”, the capacity to invert a wrong and to change things round.   The womans’ staff she told me about some weeks ago, is the caduceus or ankh. She has electricity and healing in her hands, still awakening, being born in the Year of the Snake.

The Tarot Keys are godmothers, the bringers of the forces.

In 1969 when I first knew him, a mantra arose, concerning her father Mr V:   Give way to the Force.   For-give.   I intuited in those early months, a transgression which would be my life’s work and instruction, to forgive. I saw the tender child in him, not fully formed;  and the soldiers around him.  I projected furies with and through him, as well as an obsessive romance and fear.   I enacted the woman bruised and scorned.   In those days – he was 34 then – he was attractive, intense and tentative, feeling his way. I was fascinated by his warmth, and by the cold steel in his nature.  He was vulnerable to my drama, as his ego was not secure, and his path was at a forking of the ways.  I was just 20.  I wanted a child with him.

The little fish who swam towards our first encounter and knocked at the door for life, was born seven years later in Gemini.   She persisted and prevailed.

To forgive, does not erase from the slate – no one can do that except the bearer, with God.  It goes to a hidden place and it opens wide.   To forgive means to give away my enmity; to move apart; to respect that soul’s providence and freedom as a whole.   To be able to forgive and move on, is a personal boon; I am not jailed, I am out on parole.   To forgive is the holistic LAW OF THE UNIVERSE;   and the Law is movement: and movement through the fields and seasons of life is Key 13, the “scorpio force”.

My friend Lyn is writing an autobiography of the scorpio force through herself. She told me she has trouble with the amount of “I” in it.   I told her Actaeon left the I out of his first draft, and it was contrived and read badly.   Perhaps the answer is, to ask from time to time what this “I” is – Self-enquiry.   Then it becomes objective, and the dimension of cosmic mystery restores the Life.   So why not study … the human who is closer to me than my heartbeat?   All else is speculative.

theatre arunachala j&d8


Meanwhile, at Alum Way, there is the man, my friend David.  We’ve been together for five years;  we are reclaiming the string of overgrown gardens next to the woods and the brook.  My building of rough timber fences is now approved of by the man; with the addition of some long apple branches, the fabric starts to flow, and is strong.   Yesterday I almost finished the digging.  In the corner of the garden where the recent rubbish is stacked, the earth was packed with broken pots and old barbecue coals and litter, and has died to dust, it is filled with tough thatches of dead corpuscular root fibre.   Nothing will want to grow there except – possibly – nasturtiums which are said to like infertile ground.   It might be a good place to put the man’s fishpond.   The man wants the rubbish pile remnants to be moved into the woodpile garden, away from his sight, until it can be dealt with.   But  the woodpile garden is my little subconscious sanctuary – as well as being the first place last year, that I entered and cleared.   Why not put it further back, in the nettle garden which no one is bothering with at the moment, and cut it up into bags for the municipal dump?

For me these gardening details are psychology.   After digging along the border, I raked, levelled and trod a room-size area where the high rubbish tip used to be; to lay the first turf.   It is incredibly exciting and creative.  Around the green “mandala”, we can seed grass and wildflower, to watch it grow.   I found the man in good voice with these plans in general.   The place which is trod and prepared for grass, is a magical dancing floor at dusk; darker than the lumpier ground around it.

The “I” in narrative is fine, so long as the dimension is alive through it, of a story working through a local i, like a sonata through a cello.

The Singing String 1986


I’ve been reading in Self Enquiry April 2003, Jim Pym’s article on spiritual healing.   It is very interesting.   It is for him the attentive practice of “I do not know, nor do I try to fix it”, which clears the space for God.

The man had a bad day yesterday, with his back. He can live with a lot of physical pain, but not the fear and tension that rises to his head from it as it accumulates.  His GP referred him to a pain management clinic, where they can try out drug changes. I heard (when I had toothache) that to alternate pain killers is more effective than to use just one, which habituates.  He draws the line at morphine.   Clive up the road wears morphine patches and he says he’s not going there.    Alum Way is tenanted by brave souls in pain, crying a little in their beds at night.   The Welsh lady downstairs has almost wasted away, but is as wiry as a root, thanks to the bottle.   The man pulled strings through his social worker (a large black lady called Lolita whom he manipulates with great skill), and the council came along at once, and mended the steps and re-concreted the front path – he is delighted with his will with A Way.   He made prints in the wet cement with stencils of a rose and a boat, and a magendovid.   I told him the magendovid looks more like a paw print.   He said he will make his dog walk in it.  Through the ages, the cave dweller marks his dab.

Spiritual and sexual healing does not remove his pain – yet – but it does open up his resources and inner soul strength. It is a long-haul circuit. As a “soul gardener”, he manifests a physical garden and an Eve.   His Aries will is powerful.  My lovership with him, and in the garden, is for the whole.   Does this rare opportunity stand equal with writing great screeds and getting published and influencing people?


Quantock hill waters

Quantock hill waters





Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Alchemical Ethics: Part Two

Grail Table round

Grail Table Round, 2002


D asked me to say to him out loud, “Yes I am a difficult person.” This was after I took Maya out into the field to play ball for two hours, hearing him say an hour and a half, but he said 45 mins, and I had left my phone behind and he was climbing the walls convinced I had lost Maya. In fact he had a frightful day with one bloody thing after another, I spilt codliver oil in the car, and he lost the car keys at home and panicked – I picked through the dustbin and he found them in the kitchen drawer. I am a difficult person and I find myself hard to live with. I didn’t like that very much, but it is true. It is a life-long battle inside my fractious personality, trying to limit damage when with others, i.e. not to do or say things chaotically, or increase my own tension by badgering, etc.

What a curious illusion this is!

I saw the truth  … each of us, every single worthy human being is difficult for themselves or others to live with. Those whom I love are often irritating, overbearing or even downright scary. It is our elemental side; our vulnerability. This is how we are, and how life is.  In daily life I search what I think is right, and get stressed when the words vanish, because in summation it isn’t.  I am bullied and chivvied by my ethical ideal. When my vision clears, it is plain that the superego ideal doesn’t work;  it has no power.

hermit, 1987

hermit, 1987

Though ethics are broad cosmic commands – the platonic streams of light in the river – they are not written in any obvious way in the sky. We have to rediscover the melody, and to improvise. The ethic rarely stabilizes as a plan. When interacting with others, it changes perspective with the light, and the desired action may turn out quite different.

Greetings of glad tidings, 1989

Greetings of glad tidings, 1989

This is because the ethical waveband plays a human instrument not in isolation, but as a developing social being – a keyboard or orchestra. The issue must interact and co-respond – the “finding” is not what I meant to find when my mind was closed. With new humility, receiving a more open perspective, I am chastened for the umpteenth time: I was a crusader wearing blinkers.   I know nothing.

Let me try to grasp the way ethics are social, interactive, relational and creative.

I didn't do it - I dropped an egg to see what would happen:  Cornwall 1955

I didn’t do it – I dropped an egg to see what would happen: Cornwall 1955


rose star egg

Yes there are Dharmic cosmic strands of consciousness. But the business of being human is scratchy. The ethics are not dished up on a plate. A hen roams and scratches in the ground for the grain which drops out of her nether end as an egg.  The henyard is an earthy mess with disturbed grass-shoots.   Images interlink just now, of golden yoked egg, the planetary orbits around the Solar atom – and which came first, chicken or egg? – the elliptical miracle produced from that feathered backside, is found among some nettles or a nest of hay, and boiled for breakfast. Hen and egg are a great work without beginning, to which the cockerel appears incidental. The cockerel makes the louder noise, standing at dawn to lift his pinions and announce the sunrise: cock crow, YOD – and poor St Peter’s discovery that it had crowed three times, and he had forgotten the courage of his ethics. He had cringed, denied and slept while his Teacher awoke in the garden all night long. His  courage was clouded by the self-preserving fears of his surface mind.

cockerel, 1987

cockerel, 1987

Yes, in myself, this happens daily – the waters are muddied, and I put myself on trial.

Who has the right to do that? Who is the judge?

Sanatana Dharma

Sanatana Dharma

An aspect of ethics is courage – the courage to remember and speak up for what the heart knows is true – the Sanatana Dharma or optimum way to grow at all levels. For those today in prison or under torture for freedom of thought and speech, any failure to protest their conscience is a far worse fate than physical suffering, electric shock or being murdered. For men and women whom regimes attempt to crush, the ethical imperative is simple. The lamp shines in them strong and clear.  They speak.

As humans we are a process so incomplete – racially about eight years old in terms of infancy – that an ethical realisation should bring a daily, hourly practice of compassion for the way we know not what we do. I know not what I do.   For give.

seagulls and plough, woodcut by C.F.Tunnicliffe

seagulls and plough, woodcut by C.F.Tunnicliffe

The intensive study of spiritual matters and platonic virtues leads straight into the field of life where I  churn up mud and feel lost. This is the task of embodiment. Kabbalists say our embodied life on earth is the hard School where our work in the soul is applied. There is no evolution in the soul, unless we plough the physical field. Life on earth – with what it flings at us at every level – is a difficult training.

The manifold crisis today which humanity faces, is a progressive force for transformation in the collective soul.

cockadoodledoing 1987

cockadoodledoing 1987

The ethical waveband appears an eternal verity: but it is not static. It is implanted in the human psyche in order to grow and generate life through each small human. My evolution is a difficult imperative: a combat with failure. The failure is relative, and mostly imagined. Who is responsible? Whom do I try to serve? When I am out in the playground of my primary-school, how am I with my companions? A very early memory arises from village school age six: we sat in pairs back to back on the see-saw: I faced the middle: without thinking, I shifted further and further back and pushed the boy sitting behind me and facing outward off the plank, and onto the ground. When he got to his feet, his nose and mouth were bleeding gristle. Maybe my guilty thoughtlessness was planted there, for the image arises of its own accord now: trust the subconscious. On Her akashic scroll, all is recorded, all is synchronistically delivered.

Astronomer with spinning top and cockerel

Astronomer with spinning top and cockerel 1988


Be holy, whole, well, sound. The philosophers’ Stone is the universal medicine.  When Yesod and Tifareth – moon and sun – are One, I am EBN (hebrew for Stone) – child with father/mother.

“Never forget human is a social being, and the highest resonance of this is love. The lilies and roses in the Tarot Magician’s garden are symbols of knowledge and love. The hebrew number 53, EBN, Stone is the same which describes the Sun and the Garden by gematria. The red roses in the Magician’s garden are the completion of the Work of the Sun. Without love there is no fulfillment. 

“Garden, Stone and Sun are the One Thing. The flowers are fed by the chemical elements of decomposed stone, and grow by the power of the sun. When we really know this, we cannot help loving our fellow humans:  this is revolutionary. The highest piece of philosophy in nature is love.  Skill in this comes from long practice.  

We fail more than we succeed, but our small successes and breakthroughs are of homeopathic quantum.

(Adapted from Paul Foster Case)

I found in the Chaldean Oracle some pure alchemy:  “For from the (YOD) Source, naught that’s imperfect spins or wheels …  The soul must have measure, rhythm and perfection, to spin, circulate or throb with this Divine Principle.  The Father/Mother does not sow fear, but pours forth persuasion …   controls from within and not from without;  controls by being, by living within, and not by constraining.

an early impression of the muscle of heaven with earth 1987

an early impression of the muscle of heaven with earth 1987

Saturn approaching my natal Cheiron and square to natal ascendent and Saturn this year made me feel confined, anxious and unable to complete my tasks.  Recognising this, relaxes it.  This tension will be shaping my path – between Saturn’s butter-pats – until November.  So go with the flow!

And now go within.  Be within the field.  What is here?

In a field of flowers, the long grass warms my bare feet, encircled with mountains and hills. Over the last twenty-odd years, love shed its turbulence into a deeper strata of acceptance.  Do the beautiful. Go with Grace, one thing at a time. The strata of acceptance under the earth mirrors the ethical aurora borealis of a clear blue sky – Beriah. As above, so below:  be joined!


with Maya, 1




Aquariel – an angel of the waters and of the air through the woods of life.

COPYRIGHT – All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Alchemical Ethics – Part One


Ethics in philosophy denote the essence or highest expression of our being.

The ethical plane dawns when the mind is quiet. Ethics are fluid monuments in human consciousness, as the ageless wisdom forms – the ideal platonic forms.

nilakunta magendovid


I am reminded that no one can agree on ethics except the sages among those mountains. What is good? What is beautiful? What is true? What is a noble way to conduct a relationship and to listen to others?

Gene Keys Golden Path Program

link to gene keys website

In the gene keys teaching of shadow, gift and siddhi for instance, we are invited to observe our shadow deeply – which releases the gift –  and to hold the siddhi and gift around our loved ones. The siddhi is a standing distillation in human nature. It is a great effort to see through my dirty shop window into the room inside. Contemplation of sacred platonic geometry – I believe and feel – nourishes my thought to flower ethically, in a way which is true to nature. I feel sometimes the stillness of these qualities of higher humanity;  to be honest to the moment and what it embraces. Honour the trust in life.

Lilyrose 1 copy

The platonic forms are resonances, melodic notes.

For me, my closest friendships are alchemical processes, and sometimes the astrological synastry – the combined charts – forms a pattern, an ideal form to recall during rough waters.   In my birthchart, the angles of Ascendent, Venus, Uranus and the Karmic nodes formed a Star of David/Seal of Solomon.  In the combined synastry of myself with two of my companions, that same Star forms – almost.  It is work in process.

I find this dimension fascinating.  Some of the aspects in the two synastry charts are not exact, but they lead to the guiding principle.  I drew just the principle features. Also of interest is D and C’s “planetary exchange” through Aries and Taurus:  they are interwoven in an elemental way.  Behind the cloud patterns of our relationships on earth, these elegant correspondences show we are all connected:  a rich Karmic tapestry for the great Work.

In the old days, before I discovered my Star of Solomon aspect-pattern with the Nodes, it was already my guiding star. I love it.  I rest with it, through storms of life. It turns out to be very durable. It seems to make the relationship fruitful, fresh and willing, with a capacity for light and shadow, for challenge, adaptation and change. The ascending triangle is masculine: the descending triangle is feminine; they interpenetrate. The hexagonal geometry of the compass directions, and of solar rays, creates a Cube of Space.

Diagram, cube, weathercock

Solomon's Cube Emblem 6 copy

I want to be true to my ethical foundation, and to let it guide.  The presence of a hidden treasure – which loves to be known – tempers and sustains the bumpy life expression.

Ethics are frequencies pitched on the string.

The ethic is not based on opinion or viewpoint which collapses. Ethic is being true to act in the best interest of the moment which embraces life. There is a responsibility for it not to cause hurt. Pages packed with moral statements are meaningless – my moral defense collapses. My moral defense is irrelevant, conditioned and a waste of time. True ethic is intuitive, intuitional – be true to what I am and what this moment is.

It is silent:  it acts.

Krishnamurti is here – he jettisons the mind’s toilsome wiles.

When we connect to embrace an ideal, to enrich the work of the world, and the human family, there is meaning.  It exists to serve.  When it goes no further than ‘the me and the me’, it tends to go dull or break up.   But when the need rises to rest together, the talk stops.  I feel in touch with what we do and its peculiarity, which suits the time and place. It seems to be a requirement which defeats the mind. It is orchestrated.  It doesn’t take much energy or space, and it doesn’t make baggage: it is carried as light.   I think we all encounter paradox.

My view of ethics honours the astrological resonances, for these are strands of great and subtle beauty that lie along human beings awaiting recognition. Aligning with our higher self, all is well. It doesn’t subtract from relationships, but enhances them. There is a radical Sufi potential: to do the beautiful.

Ethics are much written about, but they are a state of contemplation.   There are citadels of spiritual exercises, duties, meditations, yogas and reminders; but if the path of peace opens with a hint of elder Eden in nature through fire and ice, tooth and claw, all that learning is pointless. It is yet necessary, to graze in this field of trial and error;  to develop a spiritual muscle to withstand complexity, and prevail.

group mandala 2015

Here is a human mandala.  They met the Shadow of the Star, Cross and Crescent in Tifareth and sang and prayed for peace. Each of the 22 participants represented a path of the Tree, an animal of Ezekiel and a card from the Secret Dakini Oracle.  Over the last couple of weeks, Uranus and Pluto formed the seventh and last of a series of locked “squares” (a right angle) in Aries and Capricorn.  As these giant archetypes of change and transformation draw slowly apart – for Uranus begins to detach and move ahead of Pluto –  we may hope that some of the political and local tensions over the last three years, may ease.   Aries is the sign of birth:  Capricorn carries old institutions.  The cardinal collision is between rigid patriarchal systems and the Age of Aquarius:  a new community.  We can reflect on multiple levels of this.

During the Uranus-Pluto square I had a bad fall while helping to manage D’s young black German Shepherd.  I hurt my back and caught a virus –  tugged open in all directions with the planetary stress that day.  It is all recovered now;  a clearing-out initiation,  to embrace the  Nefesh – the animal kingdom.

The human/wild creature symbiosis in all its beauty sent a shock through my system.  She is called Maya.  She is an affectionate and powerful creature, very bright – she came to D just three weeks ago.  We play with her on the floor and hug her, and teach her, and out of doors in the green places she runs free …  and runs …  and runs for the ball, like a panther.   Wolves and sheepdogs are tireless.  She is pure gleaming black, a black fox.  What a spirit!   These pictures were taken on the second day with her – we tied a long washing-line to a tree.  Two days later she was off the lead.  It is amazing how she centres her freedom to her human pack-leader, how saucy she is, and how she loves.


Yesterday I read the 55th gene key, and some of its related material.  If you visit the website in the gene keys link above, and click on ‘gene keys book’, you can read the whole of Richard Rudd’s chapter on the 55th gene key – the Dragonfly’s Dream.  It describes the pressure of the transformative mutation we are in, and the conversion of the Shadow of Victimization into the Gift and Siddhi of Freedom.  Our Shadow manifests the tension leaving the world, like smoke. Yes, it is dark and obscuring and it is all we can see at present; but those who cannot resonate with what is to come, will tend not to return, as the new gene pool develops. As the age of selfishness dies, our sexuality will transmute and populations will fall dramatically. “The coming epoch will see the sublimation of human sexuality and desire into unconditional love.”

I feel the dawn of this – a conscious effort to love with sobriety, and unconditionally: a matter of choosing to. The beacon of my higher nature feels Dharmic. It is a practice room.

In the human global context, “as our fairy tales tell us, the third time is the charm and always brings redemption.” The human revolution happens in evolutionary terms in an eyeblink, but we who are in it subjectively, feel that it spins itself out over the life time, painfully slow, and seemingly more and more dense, and it is hard to remember the field where all the shining seeds are. It is hard to overcome the doubt. The field where the shining seeds are, is in the sphurana – the heart vibration – here and now.

Tarots: 10, with 8 to the right, and 18 to the left.

tarots march 2015

Under 10 are the Tree glyph and 9 and 20, the hebrew SHIN.

The Sun-wheel (10), Moon (18) and Mercury (9) are the work of alchemy. Key 20 is the Ascension.

On the Tree of Life, Keys 18 and 20 (with the central 32nd path, TAV) converge to Malkuth, Earth.  In this painting, Malkuth has the alchemical glyphs for the alchemical elements.

Kabbalah 1989 79 tree of life - Version 3


“His practice enables him to demonstrate that his personality is a field for the operation of the Sun. Step by step, it gently and gradually alters his mind and body until he reaches the stage of illumination wherein he perceives directly the truth that he is living the eternal life of the One Power which brings all things into manifestation, and sustains and governs everything in the universe. … He does not believe this. He knows it, and he knows it whether his contemporaries understand him or not.”

Paul Foster Case


The long range alchemical vision in gene Key 55, is Earth as a garden, a reclaimed wilderness interacting with human self consciousness – Key One, the Magus. Human and wild nature will rediscover their right proportion.

What is ethical?  When the laws of proportion, the Golden System, the fibenacci series, the ratio of 5 to 8 … enrich and hallow the inner gestational life, we start to act with intelligence.  It acts.  Here are alchemical triplicities:

Mercury Sun Moon

Wisdom, Desire, Inertia

Sattva, Rajas, Tamas,

Mercury, Sulphur, Salt

Akasha, Tejas/Agni, Apas, Vayu, Prithvi

Spirit of Fire: flow of Water: breath of Air: touch of Earth

Tree of Life-Gunas copy

“The eternal flesh is hidden in the old earthly man, and it is in the old man as the fire in iron, or as the gold in the dark stone. This is the noble Lapis Philosophorum which the Magi find, which tinctures nature and generates a new son in the old. He who finds that, esteems it more highly than this outward world.

The Stone – EHBN: “He who has it and knows it, if he seeks he may find all things whatsoever are in heaven and in earth. It is the Stone which is rejected of the builders, and is the chief corner stone: upon whatsoever it falls, it grinds to powder and kindles a flame therein. All universities seek it but find it not by their seeking; sometimes it is found by one who seeks it rightly.

“In this Stone there lies hidden whatsoever God and the eternity, also heaven, the stars and elements contain and are able to do: There never was from eternity anything better or more precious than this, and it is offered by God and bestowed upon man; everyone may have it that desires it; it is in a simple form, and has the power of the whole Deity in it.”

Jacob Boehme

Note that “all universities seek it”.

The finding is actually a making or confection. The perfect elements of the Stone exist herein, but must be discovered and brought into union : AB BN. It has to be mined each time afresh. It doesn’t sit there gathering dust. It is alive.


There is a certain sharpness of the mind on receiving the eternal verity – this I seek when I write or contemplate; most often it doesn’t quite get there, but the search is towards the attunement or flavour or “aaah.” Key Six the Lovers is symbolized by a blade, the sword or ZAIN that receives and differentiates the First Matter. The flavour of the Stone is sharp and pure; it is velvety soft and crumbly as talcum powder. The Stone is in the beauty of life –  cultiver son jardin. The ethics are pulled about by clever brains, but I think their essence  is “rejoice”. They do not form static propositions. They are higher in the human sky, they are higher and deeper in the ground than argument. Put my trust in the ethical principle and feel the right action arise. The ethics are entities, regions of consciousness, ideal forms, and they deliver from beyond what we write down in our books.   They do not correspond to time. They are the ancient of days, and as new as a flowing stream. Silence receives and embraces them. A human is an ethic: as we sow, we reap.

Rest within the ethics, the unbroken cosmic principles.

annapurna book cover - Version 4

An impression of astral and mental planes, of Yetzirah formation and Beriah creation: “il y a d-autres Annapurna dans la vie d’hommes.”





B.O.T.A. Tarot Keys – Polish the Gem

lily in field & tower Rosicrucean Emblem 7


Tarot is a visual and contemplative language:  the 22 Tarot Keys/letters of the Hebrew alphabet are living, sacred numbers.  Among various other meanings, the number 13 in Tarot spells the Hebrew noun EChD, Unity (1,7,4);  and also AHBH, Love (1,5,2,5).  On the long journey through life, the old concept of “me first” is slowly reduced through alchemy to “the chaos of the Radiant Darkness.”

What is this radiant darkness?  Old alchemists called it the raven’s wing, in which they saw the constellations, as on a starling’s breast.  For instance, when I “allow, accept and embrace” my shadows, I begin to fall apart.  I perceive within them, the unfolding light.

I feel something of this transition and its effects as I am guided nowadays to ‘be more for others’ – which is physically tiring and time-consuming.  The Great Work enters the world with commitment, confusion and love.

Alchemically, the new conception is Key 19 the Children of the Sun, whose neighbour on the Cube of Space is Key 13, Death.  On the Cube of Space, Death holds the southwest corner edge between the Children of the Sun (south) and the Wheel of Fortune (west).  Death (ruled by the scorpio force) suggests movement, transition, regeneration.  Without the harvest, the death of the old, nothing new can grow.

Cube of Space map cube of space


For more on the Cube of Space, visit the Builders of the Adytum,

Each event is a point on the circumference of a sphere or wheel, continuous with all preceding and with all which follows. “All space is full of the presence of the One Thing” (Paul Foster Case).  The universe in all dimensions, is a seamless robe – the One Thing’s holographic extension through the detail of time and space.

The sum of numbers 0 +1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10 is 55, which reduces to 1.  The sum of 0 – 13 is 91, and the sum of 0 – 19 is 136: the digits, 91 and 136 reduce by addition, to 1.  The series 1,4,7,10,13,16,19 are all numbers which reduce by theosophical addition, to 1.  For this reason, they are called “Monad numbers”.

When you or I discover for ourselves that the power of the One Thing fills all time and space, the nightmare of personal separateness is destroyed and the world is changed.  Change starts from the heart’s cave, and radiates onward with a subtle “domino” effect.  The turning wheel (Key 10), the lightning flash of awakening (Key 16) and the reaper (Key 13) symbolise the One Thing in process: it moves.


Tarot keys 1, 4,7,10,13,16,19, are the MONAD. Then study the Magus, Tarot Key One.  He isn’t “doing anything.”  He concentrates, and at the same time receives.  The intelligence of Transparency flows down through him into the garden:  the roses, the lilies and tools on the table of life.

bota key 1 Magician


I got some flavour while writing of the ONE THING, of a feeling which is gentle, it is neither conventional nor much noticed by social radar.

The other day, I listened to my friend tell his disabled beloved, that the love and power of God is a dimension flowing through him to her, and into the struggle she has to face. All of it is worthwhile, in their life. The acceptance sets him apart from the mainstream.  Each thing he does for her, takes care.

lily in earth Rosicrucean Emblem 7 -

The inner truth permeates all things, and at the same time it is set apart, like a lily planted in a garden pot in a field.

bota lovers 6


In the Lovers, Tarot Key Six, each fact of life is illumined and discerned.  The symbol is Hebrew letter ZAIN, the blade of a sword which “parts the waves”.

Unity is not soup. Unity is the unique nature of each phenomenon clear and distinct as the One. The One is all – the All-one.  The seed to be fertile, is parted:  it divides into two.

I am polishing life-given opportunities, which are gems. To polish each gem which life presents, is to serve the whole. Regard each phenomenon and feeling – including the blackness of the raven’s wing – in this way!



And … who is doing the polishing?

Ring on table Emblem Roscicrucean Emblem 9